VxPoem ID: 18688
Posted: December 21st. 2005 1:10:41 PM
Survival by Kindness
by Cernunnos Poetry
Age Group: Adult
At 41 and three quarter years
I was near-blinded by Her light
Bound together like two hands of prayer
Our Love then One Heart glowing bright
Oh Holy morning after morning
After yet another dark delightful night
She stood before me, a Holy Mary scorning
Impossible Divine Mother burning bright
She changed me – me, then this man so godless -
I had to reconsider everything I’d ever known…
She, my visceral encounter with the Goddess
My rational mind and world-view now blown!
When my Love for Her turned to Worship
That’s when this Goddess slayed me down
‘Cast me into that blackest sea without my ship
Left me in the total darkness there to drown
I drifted aimless there for more than a year
There, where I reconsidered All I ever knew
I found Strength there after the thousandth tear
Humility there when I skewered my Ego through.
Then, through poem, I finally found my voice
I thought it once answered against the void below
One faint signal, but at least one reason to rejoice!
(Old soul friend of mine - will you ever know?)
One dark mystic poet – one beacon in the black
One point of light to separate black sky from sea
You saved me from below, ‘gave my ballast back
(I wish I could tell you what you did for me...)
Then I found one more cause for optimism
Through the bright words of one more bardette
Three poetic points became a mystic prism
Refracting beautiful lines of hopeful Light
Payments against this - my dark Karmic debt -
Soon four mystic poets formed a sacred circle
Like four compass points around me, and I find
Their Light, insight, a new navigational miracle
By which I explored this once forbidding Darkness
Made powerful now, no longer threatening in my mind.
I understand Her now - the Goddess in which I sank
You see I fell in love with Kali, the Divine Mother
I have now only myself to blame, only Her to thank
I am Stronger now - I survived Her like no Other!
Author's Notes: It was not really a woman at the root of my inward journey after all. Or maybe it was... either way I was destined to fall in love with an archetype of the goddess Kali. Silly me. But while I say that with a smile, I believe now that if we subconsciously need to experience the trying siritual wilderness of ourselves, if we are meant to make that journey, one personal loss or another will be the trigger that initiates our encounter, our duel with and against our own dark ego. When we confront that demon, engage it, understand it, and finally mercifully slay it – put it out of its black misery - we survive and our world view will be different, stronger, more mystical, more optimistic. And we, with luck, transformed - better hearted, less vulnerable, kinder.
Thank you to the “four mystic poets” among my very informal 'compass circle' whose words helped
me navigate and get through and past my darkest most inward-looking days. Two of you know who you are. Two of you probably don’t. Four of you definitely won’t. I know, the numbers don’t add up… ( :-D ‘luvya all anyway!) . We are all blessed by your words, your humanity, your sufferings, your journeys, your intellects, your strengths. I humbly bow for all of thee.
In Blessed Peace Be.
In this life now,
its survival of the kindest.
Author's Location: Rural Central, Ontario
More Poems: Cernunnos Poetry has posted 673 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Cernunnos Poetry - Click HERE
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