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VxPoem ID: 24503

Category:
healing

Posted: September 26th. 2006 2:09:32 AM

Views: 1381

Fighting Myself...

by Ladykelshan

Age Group: Adult


I am fighting myself,
in more ways than one.
I want to eat, whatever I desire...
but, my body fights back
not wasting time,
and hurts me almost
like fire...

I am fighting another,
and it's my will to live,
to make it at all,
and to learn how to
give...
in, to my body,
when I 'd just as
soon, not, but, I do
what I have to
and give it all
that I 've got!

If I choose to lose,
then that's what will be,
I will have to surrender
inevitably.
However, ....
I add, not so fast,
I will last, for I
must keep on
trudging, and my will
is not budging
from the fact that I
will be everloving to
the life that I'm
living!,

So, though I am
fighting
myself, always
biting, for a
chance to eat what
I want,
I go and start
fresh,
I will have to learn
yes!
that, if I eat ,
more than my share...
my sugars will raise
and I will become
"Crazed"..and caught
like a deer in a
snare!

...I was fighting myself,
but I thought, I can't
lie , this disease
that I own,
it's definitely mine,
I eat what I should,
and not what
I would, if this were
left, up to me,
I wouldn't be here,
no, really, seriously!

The foods that I ate,
were junk foods
galore, trust me, I
ate them, and then some,
and more.
I filled myself up
like people fill up a truck
piles of sugars
and junk foods
amuck, I had "the world"
(but the disease
had me too!)
Unbeknownst to
"starving" me,
I kept eating for an
eternity...
when lo and behold
and could you
please pass the
chocolate....I
got sick enough to
nearly go vomit!

I don't fight myself,
rather just avert my eyes,
to anything tasty or (too)
sweet ...
it's the least I can do,
to prove
I can learn, how to
find the "right things"
to eat..
I would rather be one
hundred, or, maybe older
that that,
than know that I
didn't live "a full life, "
because in my old life
I knew better, but, I
being a "go getter"
nearly died
because all I ate
was pure crap!!!

I live again, and I try
times ten, everyday
improves a bit,
it's" trial and error, "
but, I know that's
fairer, than NOT
knowing
any of this Sh*t!




Author's Notes: By ladykelshan
Written Tuesday September 26th, 2006

I am glad that I am learning more about diabetes type two as well as one.. (I have type two..but, it's a good thing to learn about the other as well!)

I would RATHER know about it, than to NOT...I was in the dark for soooo long...I must have had this disease for many years...prior to getting diagnosed with it..and to me, it explains a lot of things....one of them is "sweating" all of the time...that is just ONE of the symptoms!

It's a relief to know some of the answers now!
I also wrote this poem because although, I did eat badly before...there are times when I "slip" and my BODY is not just a part of me...but, it is very much a "little person" with a "mind of it's own"! LOL!
I have been learning that if you play with matches you WILL get burned..and you CAN'T get away with it , either! (I thought that I could "trick" my body with certain foods...but, I have nearly passed out...in doing so....SOOOOO FRIGHTENING!!!! I am never going to do that again! I scared myself .....ooooooh! I just cannot tell you!
I gotta take good care of me....I have to!!!
(If I wanna live to one hundred) ! wink wink!!! !!!!


Author's Location: Washington, Washington DC
More Poems: Ladykelshan has posted 485 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Ladykelshan - Click HERE
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