VxPoem ID: 25417
Posted: November 7th. 2006 7:05:05 AM
More Dear John Letters Info...
Age Group: Adult
BREAKUP LETTER TO SOLDIER COULD JEOPARDIZE COMRADES IN ARMS
DEAR READERS: Yesterday I printed some of the feedback regarding my answer to "Feeling Guilty, Memphis, Tenn." after I urged her to wait until her serviceman fiance returned from Iraq before breaking their engagement. Today I will share more of them. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: I am a psychologist and served in Iraq running a combat stress-control clinic. I couldn't agree more with the answer you gave that young woman, and have wished for a forum in which to provide that exact advice.
Many of the soldiers we saw had exactly this problem -- Dear John letters, e-mails or phone conversations. I can't tell you how distracting the information was to them. In addition to placing their own lives in jeopardy, their inattentiveness jeopardized the lives of soldiers around them.
Ladies (and gentlemen) , listen up! Do not communicate this type of information until the soldier returns. It'll be easier to deal with complaints of deceit than with the guilt of possibly having caused physical harm to someone else. In this particular case, ignorance is bliss. -- TOM ANDERSON, COLUMBIA, S.C.
DEAR ABBY: My husband, and every soldier around who was discussing your column, disagreed with your reply. They all said they would rather be given the bad news while deployed. They said they have lots of people around to support them. This will give the soldier time to heal and close a chapter of his life. If she's worried about his reaction, it might be better to send a letter to someone in his chain of command, perhaps with a sealed letter to him to ensure he gets any help he might need. She also needs to do the right thing and return any money or gifts he's given her. -- SOLDIER'S WIFE, PARKERSBURG, W.VA.
DEAR ABBY: As a retired Air Force director of safety, I can attest that the probability of an accident or possible suicide among young people increases markedly following a traumatic emotional situation such as divorce, breakup (receipt of a Dear John letter) , court-martial, etc. If "Feeling Guilty" values her friend's life at all, she should definitely wait until he has returned. Then she would probably be doing him a favor by breaking up, because she's not in love, she's in "lust." -- ALFRED J. D'AMARIO, LT. COL., USAF (RET.)
DEAR ABBY: When I was a company commander in Vietnam, Dear John letters were my biggest personnel problem. Soldiers in harm's way cling desperately to girlfriends and wives. I had one soldier commit suicide over a Dear John letter. We learned to put soldiers under a suicide watch for a few days after such a letter. Family members and friends who write to "tattle" do the soldier no favor. Let the soldier get home with support from family and friends before dropping the news. Letters and e-mails should be overwhelmingly positive. Our military people deserve that much. -- RON K., ROGERSVILLE, TENN.
DEAR ABBY: I cried when I read your response to "Feeling Guilty." I was a Marine serving in Chu Lai, South Vietnam, in 1965, when a close friend got a "Dear John" from his wife. He died that same night as a result of an "accident" involving a hand grenade. I pray she has the heart to wait until her fiance returns to safe soil. -- ALWAYS A MARINE IN MY HEART, ENGLEWOOD, FLA.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
COPYRIGHT 2006 UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE
©2006 Universal Press Syndicate
Buy this comic for your site or publication?
Buy one time reprint right?
Author's Notes: Posted Tuesday, November 7th, 2006
By ladyk, via the newspapers..to all of you
....Here are more of that Dear Abby "Dear John" letters information...just wanted to put this out...what would you do in this situation? Would you wait to tell the person, or not?
(Ironically, I did write to my ex- while he was in boot-camp..and I ended it...while he was there...but, I think that he knew..ya know? This was many years back...)
Author's Location: Washington, Washington DC
More Poems: Ladykelshan has posted 484 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Ladykelshan - Click HERE
Contact Me Via Email...
Email Invites Note: No, I have not opted to receive Pagan Invites! Please don't send me anonymous invites to groups, sales and events.
Disclaimer: The Witches' Voice inc does not verify the accuracy of the details stated in this listing, nor do we vouch for the value of the goods or services presented here... As with all contacts and financial dealings in cyberspace, we encourage you to use caution and wisdom in your dealings with strangers.
Political Statements: Any and all personal political opinions expressed in the public listing sections (including, but not restricted to, personals, events, groups, shops, Wren's Nest, etc.) are solely those of the author(s) and do not reflect the opinion of The Witches' Voice, Inc. TWV is a non-profit, non-partisan educational organization.
State/Country flags created by 3dflags.com and are used with permission
Web Site Content (including: text - graphics - html - look & feel)
Copyright 1997-2013 The Witches' Voice Inc. All rights reserved
Note: Authors & Artists retain the copyright for their work(s) on this website.
Unauthorized reproduction without prior permission is a violation of copyright laws.
Website structure, evolution and php coding by Fritz Jung on a Macintosh G5.
Any and all personal political opinions expressed in the public listing sections (including, but not restricted to, personals, events, groups, shops, Wrenâ€™s Nest, etc.) are solely those of the author(s) and do not reflect the opinion of The Witchesâ€™ Voice, Inc. TWV is a nonprofit, nonpartisan educational organization.
Sponsorship: Visit the Witches' Voice Sponsor Page for info on how you
can help support this Community Resource. Donations ARE Tax Deductible.
The Witches' Voice carries a 501(c)(3) certificate and a Federal Tax ID.
Mail Us: The Witches' Voice Inc., P.O. Box 341018, Tampa, Florida 33694-1018 U.S.A.
Top 13 Poems|
New Past 7 Days