Your browser does not support script
Pagan Poetry



9798 Poems



(View Teen Poems)
Past 48 Hours
(Newest on Top)



Post Your Poetry







 Witchvox Chapter: Local Poetry   Chapter Page Views: 21,917,147  

Poeem Specs

VxPoem ID: 26974

Category:
humor

Posted: February 15th. 2007 3:31:30 AM

Views: 1347

Readers Digest Hilarious (Halloween) Stories!

by Ladykelshan

Age Group: Adult


Trick or Treat Tales
Horrifically hilarious reader submissions.
Compiled by Amy Zerello

Is your funny bone itching for some Halloween humor? Don't worry -- we've got it covered! Share our collection of silly submissions with anyone in need of a howl.
Trick or Tryst?
Desperate for a Halloween costume to wear to a party, my 43-year-old daughter had an inspired idea. She put on a slinky black dress, fishnet stockings and balanced a small tabletop on her head. On it was a lamp, a champagne glass and an ashtray with two cigarette butts. She went as a one-night stand. And won first prize.
-- Contributed by Sandra Campbell

Private Party
It was Halloween night when a driver called our road-service dispatch office complaining that he was locked out of his car. I forwarded the information to a locksmith, along with one more detail: The car was parked at a nudist colony. Of course, the locksmith arrived in record time. But when he called in later, he wasn't amused. "Figures, " he said. "I finally get to go to a nudist colony, and they're having a costume party!"
-- Contributed by Neil Klein

Mummified Mom
Last year my daughter and her children were invited to a Halloween party. Her older son wanted to go as Count Dracula; her daughter, as a ballerina; her younger son, as the cabin boy in Treasure Island. Then my daughter donned her own costume, wrapping herself in strips of white sheeting. At the party she collapsed, exhausted, on the sofa.
"And who are you?" someone asked her.
"I'm a tired mummy, " my daughter said.
-- Contributed by Corinne Morse

I've Created a Monster!
For Halloween, my grandson wanted to be "The Incredible Hulk." Using food coloring and a washcloth, my daughter dyed his hands, face, neck and blond hair the green shade of the TV monster.
After his bath the next morning, a faint green tint still remained. As my grandson was going out the door to school, he handed his mother a slip of paper he had forgotten to give her earlier. My daughter quickly opened the note.
School pictures were going to be taken that day.
-- Contributed by Ruth H. Smith

Don't Play With Fire
As firefighters, we are required to wear our full bunker gear on all safety calls, even to advise homeowners of a county ordinance against burning leaves after dark. Last Halloween, two co-workers waited on the porch of one such offending household, helmets in hand, until a woman finally opened the door. Promptly dropping a candy bar into each helmet, she remarked, "You boys are a little old for this sort of thing, aren't you?" and closed the door.
-- Contributed by Steve Farmer

Climate Control
Everyone at the company I worked for dressed up for Halloween. One fellow's costume stumped us. He simply wore slacks and a white T-shirt with a large 98.6 printed across the front in glitter. When someone finally asked what he was supposed to be, he replied, "I'm a temp."
-- Contributed by Brian Davis

Outfit Over-Easy
The last thing my friend Christy was prepared for was an invitation to a costume party. Eight and a half months pregnant, she was in no shape for any conventional costume. Still, she wanted to go, so she painted a big yellow circle on an extra-extra-large white T-shirt, dug a pair of red devil horns out of her kids' Halloween junk pile ... and went as a deviled egg.
-- Contributed by Betty C. Hatcher




Author's Notes: Posted by ladyk
Thursday, 2*15th*2007

Even though these are Halloween stories...I still like the funny ones! LOL!


Author's Location: Washington, Washington DC
More Poems: Ladykelshan has posted 485 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Ladykelshan - Click HERE
Contact Me Via Email...

Email Invites Note: No, I have not opted to receive Pagan Invites! Please don't send me anonymous invites to groups, sales and events.

To send a private email message to Ladykelshan...

Disclaimer: The Witches' Voice inc does not verify the accuracy of the details stated in this listing, nor do we vouch for the value of the goods or services presented here... As with all contacts and financial dealings in cyberspace, we encourage you to use caution and wisdom in your dealings with strangers.

Political Statements: Any and all personal political opinions expressed in the public listing sections (including, but not restricted to, personals, events, groups, shops, Wren's Nest, etc.) are solely those of the author(s) and do not reflect the opinion of The Witches' Voice, Inc. TWV is a non-profit, non-partisan educational organization.


State/Country flags created by 3dflags.com and are used with permission

Pagan Essays
1996-2014





Pagan Web
8,000 Links





Pagan Groups
Local Covens etc.





Pagan/Witch
80,000 Profiles














Home - TWV Logos - Email US - Privacy
News and Information

Chapters: Pagan/Heathen Basics - Pagan BOOKS - Traditions, Paths & Religions - Popular Pagan Holidays - TV & Movies - Cats of the Craft - Festival Reviews - Festival Tips - White Pages (Resources) - Issues/Concerns - West Memphis 3 - Witch Hunts - Pagan Protection Tips - Healing Planet Earth

Your Voices: Adult Essays - Young Pagan Essays - Pagan Perspectives (On Hold) - WitchWars: Fire in the Craft - Gay Pagan - Pagan Parenting - Military - Pagan Passages

Pagan Music: Pagan Musicians - Bardic Circle at WitchVox - Free Music from TWV

Vox Central: About TWV - Wren: Words, Wrants and Wramblings - Guest Rants - Past Surveys - A Quest for Unity

Weekly Updates: Click HERE for an index of our weekly updates for the past 6 years

W.O.T.W. - World-Wide Networking

Your Town: A Link to YOUR Area Page (The largest listing of Witches, Pagans, Heathens and Wiccans on the Planet)

VoxLinks: The Pagan Web: 8,000 Listings

Your Witchvox Account: Log in Now - Create New Account - Request New Password - Log in Problems

Personal Listings: Pagan Clergy in Your Town - Adult Pagans - Young Pagans - Military Pagans

Events: Circles, Gatherings, Workshops & Festivals

Covens/Groups/Orgs: Local Groups Main Page

Other LOCAL Resources: Local Shops - Regional Sites - Local Notices - Global/National Notices - Local Skills & Services - Local Egroups - Political Freedom Fighters

Pagan Shopping: Online Shops Index - Original Crafters Sites - Auction Sites - Pagan Wholesalers - Pagan Local Shops



Web Site Content (including: text - graphics - html - look & feel)
Copyright 1997-2014 The Witches' Voice Inc. All rights reserved
Note: Authors & Artists retain the copyright for their work(s) on this website.
Unauthorized reproduction without prior permission is a violation of copyright laws.

Website structure, evolution and php coding by Fritz Jung on a Macintosh G5.

Any and all personal political opinions expressed in the public listing sections (including, but not restricted to, personals, events, groups, shops, Wren’s Nest, etc.) are solely those of the author(s) and do not reflect the opinion of The Witches’ Voice, Inc. TWV is a nonprofit, nonpartisan educational organization.

Sponsorship: Visit the Witches' Voice Sponsor Page for info on how you
can help support this Community Resource. Donations ARE Tax Deductible.
The Witches' Voice carries a 501(c)(3) certificate and a Federal Tax ID.

Mail Us: The Witches' Voice Inc., P.O. Box 341018, Tampa, Florida 33694-1018 U.S.A.
Log in...

Your Email:


Password:


Stay In?

Create Account

GET Password

GET Help

Poem Search







Top 13 Poems
New Past 7 Days

(most viewed)

Bee's Ride Cutey - 30

Scotland Independent County Family Tribes - 30

Prayer of the Mystic - 22

My Exquisite Pain - 19

This True Magic! - 16

Chances - 14

Blocking doors building broken faith soft set scor - 14

The Hermit's Lantern: Autumn Equinox - 13

Seasons - 12

Janus Vision - 11

Mother Earth - 10

Sanction, or Society.. simply corporate culture id - 9

The Night - 9