VxPoem ID: 28357
Posted: May 8th. 2007 12:45:09 PM
Learning how to Love myself.....!
Age Group: Adult
Learning how to love myself!
means, getting to bed, at a normal time..and NOT staying up, whenever I want to!
Learning to know, that it is not okay to eat, and raise up my blood sugars..I could have a stroke...like the very people that I have met online...or I could have a heart attack...that I am not beyond these things...I too am included too, and that is NOT ever going to go away!
Should I cry? Should I cry and have these feelings out..because honestly I have been trying to diligiently to sabotage moi'! (but, not really, but to some it may seem this way...over and over again!)
Do I need to address moi" and let myself know that "I am NEver going to be FREE totally of this disease...it is my "savior" from myself! I saw this as my blessing in disguise, when I got this disease...because it literally stopped me from eating and binging on all of the candy in this world....it really helped me!
Then, why do I feel so sorrowful? Why do I feel like "This is only a dream, and I will evenutally wake up, and it was all just another one of my nightmares!???"
YOU tell me! Because, I would sure love to know!
P.S. Now realizing...more and more just how "sick" I really am! Learning that it isn't going to change...it will always be MY LIFE...forever, and ever!
I don't want to fight all of the time...but, there is an "imp" in me that keeps trying to change what has happened to me...and I just can't...because I just can't, truthfully...I know that I can't!
Author's Notes: Tuesday May 8th, 2007
I wrote this because more and more, after meeting other diabetics..online, I keep discovering that I am still technically running as fast and as far away from ever admitting to myself that "I have diabetes!" and that this is never going to leave me...I have it for the rest of my life..and it is going to smack me upside the head, unless get with the program! I have also been told over and over again.by many that I am NOT seeing this whole entire picture...and that if I DO NOT shape up, I won't be here anymore to voice my opinions...I just won't be here at all!
I also haven't really cried, that much over this... (some) but, then I just thought that I "could deal with it"....well, guess again!
I am now finally figuring out, that I could lose my life, just like that! POOF!
(and that ain't no exaggeration, honey!)
Author's Location: Washington, Washington DC
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