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VxPoem ID: 32509

Category:
healing

Posted: March 29th. 2008 12:39:42 AM

Views: 1224

HaBiTs.....AnD HeAlInG ThEm!

by Ladykelshan

Age Group: Adult


My "habit" sneaks up, and lurks around me
I'm not free, I struggle endlessly
to free myself from all the woes..
that come with it, I wish it'd go!

Sometimes you cannot stop going
overboard,
it is just a habit but, I still
implore ..." Oh, please, just let me be!
Let me regain my sanity!"

I wish to Gods, that it would all
just go, .
I want to live normally, no more
"on show!"
People look and stare and think
otherwise..they don't understand
why I have to
"disguise!"

I grew up with this stupid "condition"
one that made for a life long
ambition, I used to not tell
people what was really going on
I would just lie and then I'd move on!

Nervous habits and or ones med_i-cal
I didn't feel that I needed to tell!
That's my business.. why do OTHERS
NEED to know?
What's MY life, is MINE, ..and
So, so SO.....!!!

Habits make you interesting
kind of like a "celeb" but, trust me
it's overrated.I hate it, and as I've said..
I struggle and struggle to leave it behind..
but, it rears it's ugly head, and it stays
in my mind!!

But, just to inform you, it's a work
in progress, I try what I can, and then
give it a rest.
I can only do, as much as I can...
try harder and harder to find a
new plan!!

SO, if you know of others with similar
plights...whatever you do, don't
help them to fight!
Let them get their stuff by themselves
it's much better this way, instead of trying
to help!!




Author's Notes: Written by ladykelshan
Written Saturday , March 29th, 2008

I was watching 20/20 and they had a couple of women on the show that were just gorgeous..and they both pulled their hair out (which is called trichotillimania) ..and I have this...I really felt for them..I KNOW exactly what it is, since I have suffered from this since 6th grade! Believe me, it is NO fun!!!
These women pulled their hair out in the back of their heads..I don't do that..but, I am fond of pulling the brows and lashes..and I have honestly tried to be ""better!"

I have met others like me, far and few between! Some I think have lied to my face that they "had some other type of medical problems" just as I have done in my past! Now I am just trying to confront my own issues..and NOT be terrified..people can be NON understanding and CRUEL!!!

For those of you out there..I feel your pain, trust me! I don't like recalling where I do this habit..and why or when!!
I used to cry myself to sleep, and I remember telling myself "one day I will get over this, ., and more people will like me better!!"

(Hey, but, I am still doing great..and for those that don't understand.., well, get a life!! and maybe you ought to try and talk to others with this, instead of making fun...of what you have no idea about!!!)
People used to try to embarrass me all of the time..and I will never forget that one person in my high school class, thought that if she told the entire class, while I was sitting there in class, that I would never again do this! Uhh, Hate to say it, , but, she was mistaken!!)
You cannot take drugs and expect it to go away! It's actually a medical condition..and it is LOUSY!!!!
But, I don't do it as much anymore...just at times when I get pretty stressed out!!

Hope you heal, hope you are doing okay...and God and Goddess bless all of you!!
ladyk


Author's Location: Washington, Washington DC
More Poems: Ladykelshan has posted 485 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Ladykelshan - Click HERE
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