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VxPoem ID: 34380


Posted: October 10th. 2008 5:54:26 AM

Views: 1828

What the birds do and say on my porch!

by Ladykelshan

Age Group: Adult

What the birds say... (when I am watchin' and they speak in another tongue) !

Doves on the telephone wires: "Hey, here she comes..and it looks like she's cleanin' the deck again! Guess we're gonna have to wait awhile, till we can swoop in and chow down!! Hmmm, what's that she's got...does anybody know what she's doing now?

Female Sparrows: "Oh boy!! Seeds! Yummy!! I love the chow at this porch! *giggles and pecks, giggles and pecks* careful children..don't eat too fast...Daddy and I are going to feed you as soon as we have some too! Just wait..don't eat too much! Junior, go and sit by the edge of the porch and call your father!"

Male Sparrow: (hop, hop, hop, hop, hop!) Looking around....hop, hop, hop, hop! looking around.."Mmmm, water bowl! Gonna have a sipperooni! Brrr! Cold! Ice water! But, still good! Not complaining..just cold!" Hop, hop, hop, hophophop!!) "Mama! are you done yet..we have to go back to the...Oooooh! those cheesey crackers, YUM! Gonna get one of those to take back to the trees!!" Hop, hop, hop!

Doves:"Oh here come those lousy Starlings..I cannot stannnnd them! THey are sooo noisy and busy bodies..they think that they OWN the suet! Good grief!! let's peck at them!! Just be sure to watch out for their beaks..they are sure sharp!! Ouch!!"

Starlings:"Dum, de dum, de dum...stupid birds...WE wipe them all off the porch! Dum, de dum de dum!! Scram..move it...get the bleep out of our sight..We both OWN the suet...besides..none of you ever eat from here..ONLY US birds do! It's here for the "more prominent birds" of this area..."Scuse me, , , Madam (to a dove) but, your behind is gonna have to moooove!!"

Dove:"OH! HOw rude!!!" (nips the the neck)

Starlings:"NOw that, madame, was totally UNcalled for!! ( they both nip her right back in the neck!
She moves over and starts to nip another dove...and a slight brawl starts up on the porch!)

Second Dove"Well! I never!!! Why are you pecking me?"

First Dove: "Because YOU my dear, are in MY way..and besides you are at the end of a very long food chain..and if you do NOT move..I am going to get pinched here...and possibly eaten by those two over-zealous, and quite rude Starlings who are badgering me to move my tail-feathers!!"

Second Dove.:"I am going to leave..and find a more suitable time to nibble..since the three of you can't seem to work things thru!!!

Sparrows.:"Knock, hop, hop, hop, hop, swishy-swishy in the water bowel.., "Mmmmm, I love bath times! tee hee hee!! Now , dry me off, dry me off...dry, feathers off! Wheeee!! Back to the big tree, back to the big tree...Hey, scoot over..I wanna sit with you...move over, pulllease?"
Chatter, gossip, chatter, gossip.."Let's talk more about those stupid starlings..back at the home tree...yeah! That way they cannot hear what we are saying about those rather stupid birds!!"They fly off.

Starlings:"All birds here are stupid..exceeeepppt usss!!" Ha ha ha ha!!! Squawk, Squawk! Sing a pretty song...sing a pretty song..I am happy, oh so happppy, ..I got suet in my tummy! OH yeah, baby...MMMM! Yummy!!!"

Doves:"DId those bozo's leave yet? Good grief..did you see what they did...nearly ate off all of my feathers..tch, tch!!! What rotten phony birds! They have some nerve!!! Glad they come some crows...., gotta up to the high wire., I'll meet ya there!!"

Crow.."Mmmm! Cheesy crackers..on the railing..Nope, Yuk, I don't like peanuts! Skip that totally!! (kicking off other crackers and nuts off from the railing) "let's see, don't want that, don't want that...and NO, I don't want that, either! Yuk! I LOVE that though!" Swooops in ..and gets the bird food of his choice..and swoops off!

Me:" guys are sooo messy! I see you lookin' down at me, , , I see you! Well, you are gonna have to wait..until I can get this porch cleaned off! Just wait..and then, after I fill up your water..then you can have the whole darn porch to yourselves!

Hey sweet birdies...I love ya...but, you are still gonna have to wait! LOL!!

Those birds are still watchin' I go in and out putting the water out for them..and fixing their trays.....I think that they think that I am going to head indoors..they sure do look hungry...because more then ten are gathering on the high wires...and they are all staring my way! ha ha ha!!!"
Me: "Funny birds!!" Hah!!!

Author's Notes: Written by ladykelshan
Written Friday October 10th, 2008

Yep, this has pretty much happened on my side porch...and it's rather fun to watch the antics of each bird outside...they are pretty funny!!
They have slid off the side of the porch...because their cute little clawed feet slip on the railings...and they cannot get a grip with their claws! LOL!

They love taking baths..and will splash water OUT of the tub..and a LOT of water has ended up on the porch..and NOT in the bathing tub! I wondered where all of the water had gone to...Now I guess I know for certain! LMAO!!!

No problems..but, I do happen to think that they are so hilarious to watch!!!

Author's Location: Washington, Washington DC
More Poems: Ladykelshan has posted 485 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Ladykelshan - Click HERE
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