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VxPoem ID: 44518

Category:
healing

Posted: November 7th. 2013 12:25:43 AM

Views: 939

Good Night...But, NOT, .. "Forever!!"

by Ladykelshan

Age Group: Adult


I say good night.. but, NOT
"forever.."
because, where ever you are.. I hope that
you are good . or slightly "tethered"...
I hope that you can see that I
DID care... about you..
Just because I was NOT your friend in the end..
it does not mean did not give a damn!, & hey.. that's true!!

I tried to let you know that I
was sooo upset... that you just
up and left...
I don't know what happened to you...
WHY you had to leave us all so darn blue...
I felt so angry with discontentment..
I could NOT understand why this even occurred
but, I don't know all, and I'm left disturbed...

This was NOT supposed to happen..
you were supposed to LIVE!!
You were NOT supposed to leave us, of this
I am sure you know..
Gone before your time..
this was a shock..such a hard hard blow!!

Man... I can't imagine you NOT being here on earth
any longer...
part of me is a lot less "stronger!"
I've begun to fall apart... it's painful now..
right from the start...of
your horrible demise..
my grief is carried.. inside my heart and eyes..

I am working on forgetting my grief... moving on
and seeing "relief"....
it's not been an easy ride..
knowing that you
are on the "Otherside!"

I wish you only the best, old friend..
of this I would NEVER have wished for you..
NOT such an "untimely" end!!




Author's Notes: Thursday, November 7th, 2013

This is for a former bff of mine.. who passed suddenly. at the young age of 49.. (She looked a LOT younger, trust me) !!!. I just found out at the end of September she passed away.. I was in horrific grief.. upon finding out.. it's still hurts to this day!!

I am getting better..but, it is still VERY disturbing and sad to me that she died (I never would have wished this for her.. (despite the fact that "I" ended our friendship..I would have wanted for her to live to be a nice "little old lady!!" *smiles and laughs!!*

To my former close BFF:
M...I wrote a personal poem for you... I hope that you can see this.. wherever you are... I do NOT hate you..and I never have!! I just could not continue our friendship..it was not a "healthy friendship!"

This is how I always saw it anyways!! I really wanted for you to be happy... for you and your "Schweetie" to be happy!! That made ME happy!!!

Thanks for beating the pants off of me with a game of "Jacks!" LOL!! You are STILL number one!!

Oh and I found a jack on my stairway right after you passed away.. trust me.. it's rare to find one there! I just thought that maybe it was a "sign" from you to me! Hahaha!!! If and when I can..I will come and "visit" with you... okay?!?

MY hope is that you are okay wherever you are now.. that's what I want for you very much!! P.S. that hug that I gave you (one of the last times I saw you before I ended the friendship) .. it was ONLY a "hug".. I was NOT "coming unto you!!"

You were going thru sooo much crap at the time..I felt sooo bad for you!! I had gone thru sooo many "groups" that I learned that a hug helps a LOT! It can get you thru some horrible stuff!!

I just wanted to show that hugs can help a lot!, ... that's all!! I am sorry if I bothered you..because I never meant to do that!! It was hard to see you sooo down that time, that's all!!

I really believe that a hug can help!! If my uncle or my dad are with you... I am sending THEM a huuuge hug!! "One size fits all!!" Hahahaha!!!

ladyk


Author's Location: Washington, Washington DC
More Poems: Ladykelshan has posted 485 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Ladykelshan - Click HERE
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