VxPoem ID: 16786
Posted: October 4th. 2005 8:33:57 PM
by Mimi Dawn Moonstone
Age Group: Adult
Once again I find my self worried for those around me. I stop and wonder what Iím becoming. Is it some happy person who always cares? Or this sad, lonely, little girl, who refuses to leave the sanctuary of her pillow? That one I always return to. But then this other person appears! She brings with her spiders and nightmares. Death and destruction. My malfunction. Itís her eyes I see through. But when I look at you, I see through caring eyes, knowing something is wrong. I ask. But you push me away. I knew you would. You hurt yourself and you think I donít care, I have stopped my feeble attempts at your happiness. Trying to remove you from all pain. The pain you give yourself I have no control over. Because it is you that doesnít want to stop. Your will is stronger than mine. So, I give up. If you get your self killed, donít blame me. Because Iíll already be blaming my self, and hugging my pillow. Alone once more to face the world. Although that is my fear, I welcome it with open arms. Along with death, she is my friend, bringing with her the nightmares and the spiders. But then my weakness walks by out of no where. Past the door to my class room. I stare as he goes by. His name is love. He doesnít know of my weakness before him. But maybe someday he will. Until then I wait, reckonsate. I sit here and learn what you all force into my mind. All the time I wonder, if what you are telling me is false, or truths. No one in the classroom has seen this founder face to face, so how do I know you didnít just change history, by teaching us something wrong. So again, with love gone I welcome back in death. Everyone looks at me, as if I am crazy. Maybe. I look back at them, cocking my head, and start a slow grin. They turn away fast. At last! I found a way to stop the stares. At my blue and black hair. I fear but one thing. All of my friends to either die or leave me. Then, Iíll be alone. Maybe Iíll welcome death one last time. And instead of bringing with her nightmares and spiders, she brings her name. Her fame. Iím gone. No longer lonely, surrounded by my friends, Iím warm, and there are no more spiders in my dreams.
Author's Notes: Me.
Author's Location: Richmond, Virginia
More Poems: Mimi Dawn Moonstone has posted 13 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Mimi Dawn Moonstone - Click HERE
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