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Question of the Week: 113

Pagan Problem Children: What Can We Do About Them?

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 Author:    Posted: Sep. 8, 2002   This Page Viewed: 14,733,017  

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Question of the Week: 31 - 3/5/2001

Whassa Matter With Kids Today?

Maybe nothing, but you couldn't tell that from the main media news stories or from the often disparaging remarks overheard (overread?) about today's youth in the Pagan newsgroups, message boards and chat rooms. Are the Pagan youth of today nothing but shallow thrill seekers intent on finding some easy spoon-fed answers? Do they come off as spell hungry monsters looking for a quick fix? Are they really unable to delve into the deeper mysteries simply because they are young? "Why can't they be like we were, perfect in every way?" Pagan Adults: What trends and tendencies do you see manifesting in the Pagan youth of today? What would you LIKE to see? Pagan Youth: What about the treatment often received by young seekers bugs you the most? Is it justified? Do you feel 'stereotyped' as a young person? Adults AND Youth: What are the benefits and drawbacks of inter-generation communication?

 Reponses:   There are 71 responses posted to this question. Reverse Sort 

I Have 3 Children, 18, 16 And 13. My 2 Sons (the... Mar 4th. at 11:56:41 pm UTC

Kina (Boston, Massachusetts US) Age: 32

I have 3 children, 18, 16 and 13. My 2 sons (the older children) are both Pagan, with no particular tradition. My daughter is a Jehovah's Witness. Despite our differences, my children are wonderful. I don't have major problems with them. They are very good teens, all work hard at school. I think the biggest trouble that we have had as a family is combining our differences and celebrating them. My daughter (the JW) is actually the only one who has difficulty with this, as she wants us to be like her, as her religion teaches that we all MUST follow the same path. THis has led to some serious friction, but we work on it constantly. I think that that's the most important thing. THat as families we work on resolving our differences in ways that allow us to continue to grow AND to continue to be together in respect, love and trust. On the whole, I don't think that kids are any worse than they were, but that parents are looking more for quick fixes, without the time and effort that is involved in creating a family environment that allows each of us to be united, yet continue to have our own distinct beliefs and realitites. I would like ot see my children continue to develop their spiritual growth.

I'm A Teenager And I'm A Witch. Saddly Enough, People Dont Judge... Mar 5th. at 12:57:13 am UTC

Firelight (Keaau, Hawaii US) Age: 16 - Email

I'm a teenager and I'm a witch. Saddly enough, people dont judge me by how i act or what i believe, but on how old I am. The craft I love and follow every day of my life and the beautiful and realistic (in my mind) beliefs I cherish isnt what defines me, but how many years I have lived. I love my faith and those that share it with me, but I mostly find myself ignored by those who could help me grow the most, adults! I am not without wiccan fellowship because luckilly for me I know quite a few wiccan teens, I even just started "The Moonlit Coven" with two of my closest friends after much thought and discussion. I'll say that hollywood hasnt helped teenagers much. "The Craft" seekers are an annoyance to me as much as they are to adult pagans. But not all things such as those are bad. My friend who first started me thinking about witchcraft had no idea what she was talking about and couldnt wait to hex people, as she no doubt has done to me since our parting of ways. But from that rotten apple I met the truth. I met another friend not long after and she didnt tell me anything about wicca, just that she was a witch (and she has her heart in the right place)and that got me thinking about witchcraft again. Then I met myself in the form of wicca. I continue to grow and love this path more and more. I just have on hope to all adults out there, set the record straight for the misguided ones and you will weed out the bad ones. Dont let wicca become stagnant. Blessed be and merry part.

One Thing That All Ages Should Understand Is That No Matter How... Mar 5th. at 1:05:30 am UTC

ChronoXII (Omaha, Nebraska US) Age: 17 - Email

One thing that all ages should understand is that no matter how you look at it, it usually boils down to the fact that adults and youth are capable of the same levels of thought and depth. I fail to believe that I will one day be able to wake up and understand the world 100% just because I've broken the age of thirty. I have met some intelligent and stupid adults and youth alike. Agism (if such a word exists) is another form of judgement, and one should not be quick to stereotype teens (or adults) just because of an unwise few. Remember, age is not a defining median by which one can measure wisdom. Indeed, all paths progress over time; only some are more rapid, obsticle laiden, rewarding, or just plain shorter. Whomever the traveller, all are vagabonds, young or old.

Many People In The Pagan Community Complain That Young Seekers Are Fickle... Mar 5th. at 1:34:19 am UTC

Ian Magee (Sydney, New South Wales AU) Age: 32 - Email

Many people in the Pagan community complain that young seekers are fickle, leaping from one fad to the next. Without a doubt, there is a certain amount of truth to this perception. But it is not the whole story by any means.

I suspect that many young people are attracted to eclectic forms of Wicca because they have reached a stage in their spiritual development where they are experimenting with different religious viewpoints. This is not necessarily a bad thing. As a community, we should go out of our way to encourage this kind of curiosity -- and guide it towards something deeper.

I believe that it is important for young people to develop spiritual perspectives that speak to their own concerns and life experiences. These concerns will often seem shallow or trivial to older(and more experienced) members of the Pagan community. But this difference in concerns is a reflection of the age differences between different members of our community.

The superficiality of many of the "Wicca for Teenagers" books on the market is not so much a indictment of modern youth as an indictment of our community. We are unable to nurture the casual interest of young people so that it grows into something more meaningful. And then we complain when these young people flit off to the next fad....


Nothing Is The Matter With Kids Today. I Am More Enthusiastic About... Mar 5th. at 1:56:48 am UTC

the ShadowDancer (Tucson, Arizona US) Age: 47 - Email

Nothing is the matter with kids today. I am more enthusiastic about kids (5-17)than I have ever been, my own generation included. I am very pleased with the well thought out responses of teens in these OPINIONS. I am finding that many teens today are learning hard life lessons decades earlier than their predecessors.
I am not sure if it is the "hundredth monkey effect", the fact that we really are passing the cusp into Aquarius (finally), or something else. I only know that I have noticed a quality in young people that I have not seen before.
Of course, there are still lots of problems (drugs, inability to delay gratification, entitlement issues, blatant materialism, etc.) but certainly less than gen-Xers, who are now in their 30's. And, my generation of "baby-boomers" seems to be barely figuring things out now. My parent's generation generally will go to their graves less aware than they were at birth, it is scary.
No, all in all, I am pleased with todays crop of young ones.

Much Of The Pagan Community, And Much Of The Wider Community Has... Mar 5th. at 5:08:39 am UTC

Sah'aquiel Ka'asha (Sydney, New South Wales AU) Age: 16 - Email

Much of the pagan community, and much of the wider community has a particular view of pagan youth, or 'teen witches' as they are usually called. It seems that to some extent the phenomenon of the Goth has taken the place of the skinhead or whatever method kids used to use to set themselves apart from the majority of society. This stereotype of the rebellious youth has taken pagan youth as collateral damage. While I confess there are many out there who take a minority religion simply to be different, there are still many of us out there who believe what we believe because we choose to believe it - not because the majority of society chooses not to. For every teen witch who's seen 'The Craft' and likes to cast an odd curse on teachers there's one young pagan who follows the craft like elder respectable pagans do.
Stereotypes are almost always justified, as usually a large sample of the stereotyped population fits. However stereotypes are almost never fair, as a large sample of the stereotyped population won't fit - while the misconception of pagan youth is based in part on truth, it is still far from true.

I Belive That Teens Are Intelligiant To Make There Own Descions And... Mar 5th. at 8:04:46 am UTC

Selkie Moonchilde (covington, Kentucky US) Age: 17

I belive that teens are intelligiant to make there own descions and most Craft
based teens are gentle, caring, individuals uncapable of mass murder.

We Are Not Like Are Parents Because We Grow. Each Step Of... Mar 5th. at 9:38:03 am UTC

Ceo Moontear aka Mikey (Owosso, Michigan US) Age: 18 - Email

We are not like are parents because we grow. Each step of the way in the lives that have existed up to ours have all been a learning process. There isn't a "how-to" manual that comes with life. I am 18, and I know I'm really different from alot of my elders, but there's a spot they don't seem to see. They lived the same road I am living now. They have made their mistakes, and probably will keep making them (None of us are perfect ya know), and with those mistakes, they live on, teaching what they can to us younger generations. But can you seriously expect us to be exactly like our parents? That's not really fair. The times are changing, with the new year, the movement of Mother Gaia, the ecosystem, the energies that are currently at work right now. This is all a sign of change. For your answer, I'll say this. Would you like to be exactly like your parents? And them like theirs? And so on and so on. Why? We are all seperate creations that the Lady and Lord put here for a reason. And that reason is to bring about change. We all change. And we are all our own persons. Thank the Light for this because if we didn't have this, we'd still be in the neolithic stages. And who wants to be smelly? Hehe.

I Am Not Sure That There Is Anything Wrong With The Pagan... Mar 5th. at 12:17:46 pm UTC

Aedh Rua (Prophetstown, Illinois US) Age: 35 - Email

I am not sure that there is anything wrong with the Pagan youth of today which has not been "wrong" with the young from the beginning of time. OF COURSE many young Pagans, or Christians, or whatever, are thrill seekers. OF COURSE many young people lack perspective. This is part of being young. I was something of a shallow thrill seeker myself when I was 18. If anything, the young Pagans I meet are more serious and less neurotic than the Pagans I knew years ago.

Unless my memories are playing me tricks, the Pagans of 15 to 20 years ago were a pretty wild lot. I seem to recall rituals followed by sitting around passing an ever-full pipe of weed and bottle after bottle of apalling Romanian retsina or burgundy for hours at a time. I seem to recall attending at least a couple of orgies at early PSGs, and lots of fairly wild "lingeree tea dances". Then there were the damiana wine, Jaegermeister, Goldwasser, and other beverages which used to flow like water at almost every festival. I am almost sure I remember attending Pagan parties with a pirate copy of Rocky Horror (which had years to go before it was legally out on video) playing in the living room, while people got high in the "Zen Room", or had sex upstairs.

These must all have been dreams, for we old-time Pagans were such serious, spiritual people in our youth. Of course, youth is a relative term. Most of the attendees at these affairs were my age, now. I was the "baby" among this crew of people-my-mother-warned-me-about, which does not mean I was not an eager participant.

I really can't imagine most of the young Pagans I know partying like that, and I know quite a few young Pagans. They seem almost puritanical by comparison with our carrying on in the old days. They are often a bit doctrinaire, perhaps the result of Silver RavenWolf's influence, but I am not sure that is entirely a bad thing; it does help us keep up our morale in Fundie America.

They also strike me as much more sincere than we ever were. Sure, there are a few Goths in search of magic powers among them, but I remember one guy in 1984, supposedly an "experienced ceremonial magician", tell a group of us newbies how he invoked Cthulhu in the steam tunnels under the University of Minnesota, and "got something". (OOOHHH!!!) Certainly, there seem to be fewer bright young things in search of getting laid these days, which cannot help but be an improvement, however much fun we had.

It must all have been my imagination.......

As To Whether There's Something Wrong With Today's Kids: Plato (yes, The... Mar 5th. at 12:39:58 pm UTC

bthylafh (Pittsburg, Kansas US) Age: 21

As to whether there's something wrong with today's kids: Plato (yes, the Greek philosopher) complained about exactly that more than 2000 years ago. We seem to have done well enough since then.

I think that people tend to see their youth through rose-colored glasses and also forget what it was like to be an inexperienced kid. I'm guilty on both counts (at age 21!).

As A Member Of The Pagan Community And As A Teenager, IÕve... Mar 5th. at 12:48:08 pm UTC

Callum (Lyons, New York US) Age: 16 - Email

As a member of the Pagan community and as a teenager, IÕve had first hand knowledge of this issue. I can honestly say that there are certain teenagers out there that are "Play-gans". They simply say that they are Pagan, but in reality they neither barely know or take part in the path. Even in my own school IÕve seen a number of these people. They believe once theyÕve seen "The Craft", "Charmed" or read about five pages out of a SilverRavenWolf book that they can declare themselves something theyÕre not. But with my experiences these type of people donÕt last long. Without the will and dedication to their choice they often times fade away from their Pagan facade. To the Adult Pagan community, however they feel towards teenage Pagans is their own choice. I can agree with them that the sight of a teen, whoÕs merely calling themselves a Witch for fad purposes only, is extremely difficult. I find myself biting my tongue and walking away, instead of trying to battle the uneducated minds of a misunderstanding youth. I almost feel that the resentment comes from a deeper fear rooted in many Pagans, not from the actual youth misconstruing the craft. For so long the Pagan communities of this country, and of the world, have been trying to become understood in the eyes of the majority of the religious population. When a teenager fails to keep a certain code of Pagan presentation and conduct, itÕs almost like a shot back down the ladder of success and understanding. Possibly many Adult Pagans, and some teenage, distrust the goth-like teenage Pagans and Play-gans not out of what they do, but out of the fear of what they can do.

Speaking As A So-called "teen Witch" I Find That There Is Nothing... Mar 5th. at 12:51:30 pm UTC

Rhiannon Solana (Wichita Falls, Texas US) Age: 19 - Email

Speaking as a so-called "Teen Witch" I find that there is nothing wrong with a majority of the teenage pagan community that I have come across. In any situation, religious or not, you will find people who want power for the wrong reasons, abuse it if they have it, and generally do things that make whatever group they're associated with look bad overall. It's not strictly limited to teenagers in the Craft. I'll admit that there was a certain movie (which I will not name) that didn't help any of us who were seekers at the time. It simply gave society yet another way to label us, to group us into another category where a vast majority of us should not have been placed. I thought that was extremely unfair. But of course it only takes one to ruin it for all, or so I was often told in grade school. There is more truth to that statement than I care to admit sometimes. I myself began my journey down this path at 16 years old. I'll be the first to admit that my interest in pagan religions, more specifically Wicca, began with a spell book a friend of mine bought. I was a little wary of the idea of casting spells to be honest, and I did nothing more than glance over that first chapter before handing her the book and saying, "You know what, this is not my thing." The writer stated in the first or second paragraph that she was not Wiccan; she was merely a witch. She then briefly talked about what Wicca was, and that is what caught my attention and sparked my curiosity. I went on a hunt for information. I read anything I could find. I read about things I agreed with and things that I didn't. From there I discovered exactly what was and wasn't and based on that information began to find the path that is right for me. I suppose I was rather fortunate, I wasn't ridiculed on my search. I wasn't let down at all by most the Adult Pagans I came into contact with, in fact I find that most were very open to me. Of course I was often asked why I chose the path, but that's fine by me. I have nothing to hide, there are no bad intentions here. I'm not here because some guy broke up with me, because I wanted to be prom queen or anything like that. I came here because I found the home that I was searching for. I felt the love that I never felt anywhere else, and more importantly I am happy and satisfied with myself and what I am learning on this path. I have yet to find any drawbacks in my experience with inter-generation communication, and I am very thankful for that. However, I have noticed that I find many young pagans want a teacher, and there are few out there who are willing to take someone under their wing. In a way I cannot blame them, but how are we going to get rid of the stereotypes and myths if no one will speak up about the truth? I myself have been happy working and learning alone for the most part, but in the interest of those who are not, I felt the need to address that issue. At any rate, I have come home, and I intend to stay.

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