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Posted: Sep. 8, 2002
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Pagan Jokes and Humorous Stories
Pagan Jokes and Humorous Stories seem to be just the ticket to get us in the mood to celebrate our bestest Holiday season. This can be your personal story of 'magick gone awry' or your favorite "How many Pagans does it take..." joke. C'mon! We dare ya! Just try and make us laugh!
| Reponses: There are 37 responses posted to this question.
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| These Stories Are Great! But All I Have Is A Short Joke... ||Oct 7th. at 12:23:05 am UTC|
|Turtle (Topeka, Kansas US) ||Age: 0 - Email |
These stories are great! But all I have is a short joke somebody told me at Heartland Pagan Festival a few years ago.
Q: How many Pagans does it take to change a lightbulb during ritual?
A: Nobody knows; they're still arguing about whose idea it was to use the damn lamp in the first place!
Blessed Samhain to all.
| My Campus Group Has Always Been Eclectic And Open To The Public... ||Oct 7th. at 12:32:40 am UTC|
|Rhaevyn (St. Louis, Missouri US) ||Age: 22 - Email |
My campus group has always been eclectic and open to the public. I took a course called "Religion, Ritual, and World View" in the spring semester of 1998, and since the main paper was to take part in a ritual not of your own religion, I told my professor I am Wiccan and invitied members of my class. She remembered that I was around, and told her class in Spring 1999 that Silver Crescent (our Campus Pagans group) existed. So two girls decided to sit in on our Ostara ritual. Everything was going well, and we were having a good time. After the cakes and ale, and before we closed the circle, we planned to chant "We are a Circle..." to ground everyone and get back on the same level.
However, everyone was in such a good mood that we spontaneously skipped "We are a Circle" and instead all sang "They're Coming to Take Me Away, HA-HAA!" by Napoleon XIV!
One of the visitors asked a lot of questions later, but we never heard from the other poor girl again. We still giggle about it often, though we try to avoid that from happening in public ritual now.
| Once Upon A Time... There Was A King. As Kings Go, He... ||Oct 7th. at 4:57:22 pm UTC|
|Erik Burch (Stuyvesant, New York US) ||Age: 30 - Email |
Once upon a time...
There was a King. As kings go, he was fairly average. He was neither notably wise nor foolish. He was a king, however, and master of his domain. But as powerful men have powerful enemies, so did the King have the Duke, and the Duke desired the king's lands. The king learned from his spies that the duke planned to arm rebels in his kingdom and so he ordered the borders closed to the duke's knights and searched every traveler for contraband and weapons.
Amoung the travelers on the first day was an old man on a horse. He greeted the guards cordially and told them he was bringing peat to market to sell. The guards were suspicious, but they searched his bags and found nothing unusual. The old man smiled and rode on.
The next day he was back. This continued for weeks. Each day the old man would ride up and the guards would search his bags and find only peat. Reports were sent to the king who puzzled over the old man and his bags of peat. He lay awake at night wondering if the man was simply a distraction and doubled his guards.
One day the king awoke to find his castle besieged. Undermanned due to the reinforcements on the borders, the castle soon fell. As the king surrendered to the duke, he wondered, what of the old man? Was he just a ruse to weaken his castle's defences? A distraction for other smugglers?
"My lord, " spoke the duke, "The old man carried no weapons. His bags held only peat as he claimed..."
"He was smuggling horses."
| What Do You Call 13 Witches In A Hot Tub? A Self-cleaning... ||Oct 7th. at 10:38:46 pm UTC|
|Josh (Kincardine, Ontario CA) ||Age: 18 - Email |
What do you call 13 Witches in a hot tub?
A self-cleaning coven. :)
| More Lightbulb Jokes!!!! How Many Pagans Does It Take To Change A... ||Oct 7th. at 11:05:59 pm UTC|
|Zach Middleton (Concord, California US) ||Age: 17 - Email |
More lightbulb jokes!!!!
how many pagans does it take to change a lightbulb?
6, one to change it and 5 others to sit around complaining that lightbulbs never went out before the christians came along...
how many druids does it take to change a lightbulb?
501, 1 to change the lightbulb and 500 to align the stones.
what do you say to an angry witch?
how many ceremonial magicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
1, he stands there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
how many scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb?
none, they like the dark!
i'd have more, but i've forgotten so many...
| And What Kind Of Pagan Is She?" "oh, She's Your Gardner-variety Wiccan... ||Oct 24th. at 8:26:57 pm UTC|
|Lore (Wichita Falls, Texas US) ||Age: 22 |
"And what kind of Pagan is she?"
"Oh, she's your Gardner-variety Wiccan."
Q: What do you call a Texan who honors the Egyptian cat?
A: A Southern Bastist.
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