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Question of the Week: 113

Pagan Problem Children: What Can We Do About Them?

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 Author:    Posted: Sep. 8, 2002   This Page Viewed: 20,019,817  

Vox Q Stats

Times Viewed: 32,767

Reponses: 14

Lurker/Post Ratio: 2340 to 1

Question of the Week: 47 - 6/25/2001

Are you a Talker or a Listener?

Do you tend to do most of the Talking in a relationship or in conversation? Or are you more the Listener- the one who is usually found quietly nodding your head over there in the corner? As a Talker, are you sometimes frustrated if people don't seem to get what you are trying to say-don't really 'listen' to your point except to form arguments or responses of their own? As a Listener, do you feel somehow 'unappreciated' because you tend to be more thoughtful than outwardly verbal? Does it frustrate you when your speech gets 'lost' in the flurry of conversations or debates? Do you have any idea how people might develop better 'Talking" or 'Listening' skills? And just for fun, you might want to take the The Introvert/Extrovert Personality Test, the Communication Skills Test or one of the other tests listed Index of 121 Tests. Let us know which test that you took, what the results were and what you learned about yourself that may help you in the future to better communicate your Life Story.

 Reponses:   There are 14 responses posted to this question. Reverse Sort 

I'm Really Weird, Expecially At School. Most Of My Friends Wouldn't Have... Jun 27th. at 7:33:31 pm EDT

Dark Rose (Welilington, New Zealand) Age: 13 - Email

I'm really weird, expecially at school. Most of my friends wouldn't have a clue how to classify me, because I'm class clown (yes thats right ^.^!) and one moment I'll be standing on top of a desk 'trying' to sing opera and then I'll just decide I need some quiet time and I'll get down and say "okay I'm gonna go off into a corner now" and of I go...And I'll look sullen and sulky for an hour or two. People have got used to my On/Off habits and no one questions me anymore. I'm an introvert 36% according to the first test, but my communication skills are at 79%. I'm a talker and a listener. People come to me If they have issues knowing I will listen and give thoughtfull advice (guess how I got the nickname at school "the almighty wise one" ???) however I very rarely ever talk about personal stuff with anyone but my most intimate friends. And even then I still find myself holding back a truckload of stuff - I guess I just don't like anyone to know me fully.
I'm an exellent debator and a well known public speaker so I'm not afraid of talking.(and yes I have a huge ego-hey I'm working on it, and believe it or not its a false ego because I also have a very bad case of depression and self-hate :)!) But people think I'm not a listener when I'm to into a conversation, That isn't true. I may get a little 'too' involved and get a teensy tiny bit carried away in that no one can get a word in edgeways- but when they do talk wether or not I look like it I do listen. I store it all away in my head so that I create a little profile of everybody I know in my mind. I'll take the info away and think deeply on it later.
To conclude-I'm basically an introvert because I like to be alone to recharge my 'batteries' but I'm not afraid to speak out.

Oh, I'm A Talker, No Question About It, Though I Do Try... Jun 28th. at 3:13:54 pm EDT

Aedh Rua (New Richmond, Wisconsin US) Age: 35 - Email

Oh, I'm a talker, no question about it, though I do try to listen. There, now that we've established that, I think I will listen to some of your responses.........

Well, According To The Introvert/extrovert Test, I Am So Middle Of... Jun 29th. at 11:33:33 am EDT

ƒowyn (Western, Massachusetts US) Age: 28 - Email

Well, according to the Introvert/Extrovert test, I am so middle of the road that it is boring. I tend to agree however, but for different reasons. It's not that I run middle of the road ... it's that I run both extremes and somewhere in the middle lies the truth. I'm in sales so I have to be somewhat extroverted, especially when I am working a trade show. And I am an actress, which definately demands that I be outgoing. I also have the worst stage fright and am so camera shy that I'm not sure there is a picture of me that is less than 10 years old in existance.
As for talker vs. listener ... I do both, though I prefer to talk. I am a great storyteller. I'm also a good friend and when someone needs a shoulder to cry on or some simple advice, I'm right there.
Maybe being middle of the road isn't so bad after all....

I Feel I Am More Of A Listner, Which, Oddly Enough Always... Jun 29th. at 4:54:42 pm EDT

Cougar Nightstar (Gardner, Colorado US) Age: 17

I feel I am more of a listner, which, oddly enough always has people asking me for advice. Maybe they feel it's some sort of sign of wisdom, or something like that.

How Ironic That This Question Is Being Posed Just As The United... Jun 30th. at 5:11:31 pm EDT

Karen Noel (Billings, Montana US) Age: 30

How ironic that this question is being posed just as the United States is about to celebrate its freedoms...including freedom of speech and religion!

I am a Listener. I have been frustrated with school teachers who do not read closely enough a short, succinct essay in which every pronoun and every preposition have been chosen with careful precision so that each word and its connotations are extremely important to the meaning of the piece. It's like eating a scoop of chocolate-fudge-ripple ice cream by meditating on each spoonful, instead of gulping down the bowl as fast as possible.

My secondary pet peeve is when people don't listen the same way.

My primary pet peeve is when people choose to have only "dialogs" instead of "conversations" on issues. Conversations are much more important. See
secondary pet peeve, above...

One of my favorite authors is Chinua Achebe, born in Nigeria. One of his best essays is "Language and the Destiny of Man." This essay ties in with Wiccans' and shamans' respect for the magic of words and the power they wield, particularly in regard to spells. He mentions the following 2 sets of verse:

Inuit poem "Magic Words" ('Shaking the Pumpkin' anthology edited by Jerome
That was the time when words were like magic
The human mind had mysterious powers.
A word spoken by chance
might have strange consequences.
It would suddenly come alive
and what people wanted to happen could happen -
all you had to do was say it.

TS Eliot:
And every phrase
And sentence that is right (where every word is at home,
Taking its place to support the others
The word neither diffident nor ostentatious,
An easy commerce of the old and hte new,
The common word exact without vulgarity,
The formal word precise but not pedantic,
The complete consort dancing together)
Every phrase and every sentence is an end and a beginning

and Achebe notes, "We all stand to lose when language is debased, just as
every one of us is affected when the nation's currency is devalued..."

In his summary Achebe concludes with an African myth:

As an act of creation] men send a message to their Creator as a plea for immortality, and the Creator is disposed to grant their wish - except that something goes wrong with the message at the last moment, and this bounty which mankind has all but held in its grasp, this monumental gift which would would have made Man more like the Gods, is snatched from him forever.

'This lesson should be clear to all. It is as though the ancestors, who made language and knew from what bestiality its use rescued them, left us also adequate warning, wrapped in symbols, against its misuse, saying to us: Beware of interfering with [language's] purpose! For when it is seriously interfered with, then it is disjoined from truth, be it from incompetence or from malice, and horrors can descend again on mankind.'

I Listen. Ok, Sometimes I Talk, But Only If I Feel There's... Jul 1st. at 6:17:01 pm EDT

Cary "Sketch" Vandever (Long Beach, California US) Age: 20 - Email

I listen. ok, sometimes I talk, but only if I feel there's something I really want to share or that needs to be said. Being an artist and writer, I take most pleasure in sitting back to watch and listen. Often times doing so inspries me to draw, paint, or write stories or poems, and sometimes it simply inspires me to research certain things or just contemplate that way I live my life and how it affects others. I really don't mind when people ask why I don't talk much or crack jokes like, "quit talking so much- don't you ever shut up?" because those who do joke like that are just playing and know that I don't take offense. And in fact, I feel that speaking, whether it be at a speech contest (believe it or not, I was an active member of my high school Speech and Debate team, and thereby a recognized member of the NFL{National Forensic League} ) or simply low whispers to a loved one, is a sacred way of sharing with others parts of you that may not be at once recognized. It's a personal opening up, intimate in many ways. Therefore, although I do anjoy a goodchit-chat every once in a while, I usually keep it general and not too personal unless it's with close friends (actually I'm not even as close to my family members as I am to my 2 best friends, Coeur d' Alene and Julia).

I Am A Very Big Talker But Also A Good Listener. I... Feb 27th. at 10:27:58 am EST

Caitlin Phillips (Sarasota, Florida US) Age: 21 - Email

I am a very big talker but also a good listener. I took the Communication Skills Test and scored a 68. I have also taken the Myers-Briggs Personality Test in school and am a complete extrovert. That test was very accurate and helped me learn a few things about why some people act they way they do. I do tend to talk alot but most of my friends are extroverts/talkers too, so we will all just start talking at once sometimes. Sometimes I do get frustrated because not everyone wants to hear what I have to say but they say they want my opinion. Really what they want is for me to agree with them and I stand firm in my beliefs and views. But I will listen to their opinions and do not discredit them because that is what they believe. While I'm here I would just like to thank everyone for this site.

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