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Question of the Week: 113

Pagan Problem Children: What Can We Do About Them?

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 Author:    Posted: Nov. 17, 2002   This Page Viewed: 6,030,373  

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Times Viewed: 32,767

Reponses: 33

Lurker/Post Ratio: 992 to 1

Question of the Week: 41 - 5/14/2001

What Makes You So Special?

What do you think is special about you? We generally aren't conditioned to believe that it is okay to think well of ourselves. But the point could be made that if we can't see what is 'special' about ourselves then we are constantly at the mercy of other people's opinions. We all know that compliments come and compliments go. So do criticisms. Claiming your own specialness allows you to keep your equilibrium through both the good and bad reviews of your life, behavior, work, religion or whatever anyone else feels free to comment upon.

Do the people in your life see your specialness? Have you dared to be open enough to show them? Ask a friend or acquaintance what they think is 'special' about you. Did you both come up with the same answers? And if you have always wanted to tell someone else what you think is special about him or her, here's your chance to do it!

 Reponses:   There are 33 responses posted to this question. Reverse Sort 


If My Friends Knew I Was Writing This, I'd Never Hear The... May 15th. at 2:11:14 pm UTC

Stazya (Chicago, Illinois US) Age: 33 - Email


If my friends knew I was writing this, I'd never hear the end of it. I actually have a fear of talking about myself or being talked about - anyone know the name of that phobia? But I know it's something I have to get over so here is my first attempt:

I'm special because I'm a teacher. I don't mean that's my profession (though I am a corporate trainer - it seemed a natural fit), I mean that there's something about me that makes people understand whatever it is I'm trying to explain. Not only do they manage to understand it, but they take what I've told them and move on to make it their own. People are drawn to me because of this. I spend my days listening to people, telling stories and learning what life has to teach me so I can share it with anyone that asks. Maybe it's really the seeker who's special and I'm just blessed to be the one they're looking for, but if my friends are to be believed, then this truly is my gift.

Ok, so I backed off a little at the end, but it was a start wasn't it?


When I First Read This Week's Question, I Was Repulsed. Normally, I... May 15th. at 1:28:47 pm UTC

John (New Naumkeag) Age: 34 - Email


When I first read this week's question, I was repulsed. Normally, I try to focus on God or others as the source of good or special things in my life so as to cultivate humility and to shift the focus of my soul from ego to the Divine.

But, it is a valid question. Not answering it is actually a sign of false humility. As the saying goes, "God doesn't make junk." We're all here for a reason, a Divine reason, and neither our common humanity nor our human limitations negates the fact that we are all, individually, special. So, and in no particular order ...

I AM SPECIAL BECAUSE:

--I am intelligent and intellectual.

--I can discourse at length but I can also pithily get to the gist of something.

--I am a good speaker and a good listener.

--I am a good writer and a good reader.

--I am a good teacher and a good student.

--I can be serious or whimsical.

--I have a kind heart.

--I am psychic and mystical enough to have a constant awareness of the Divine in and beyond all.

--I am experienced enough to know that the psychic and mystical sides of life are true but that they are not all of Truth Itself.

--I have lots of experience (good and bad) in living real life. For example, I went from a background of privilege to a homeless shelter, then to practicing law to a disillusionment with practicing law; then to running my own business to disillusionment with that. For some more examples, I have also experienced: the ordinary and the great, the mundane and the esoteric, travel and staying put, adventure and monotony; health and sickness, wealth and poverty, power and weakness, success and failure, triumph and tragedy, love and betrayal, marriage and divorce, births and deaths; foolishness and wisdom, despair and faith, sin and redemption, prayer and magic, free will and fate and free will again; ignorance and Truth. Looking back on the roller coaster of my life so far, I'm sometimes amazed at all that I have experienced. I havenŐt "done it all" or even come close, but I have (in retrospect) experienced a lot in life. Sometimes, I muse that about the only things I have not experienced are having children and dying (and dying I have come close to on several occasions).

--I (thus?) have a great amount of solicitude, empathy and sympathy for the vicissitudes and varieties of human experience, especially human suffering (both as consequence from choice and from events coming "out of the blue").

--I (thus also?) have a tremendous amount of certainty in the need for people to learn to rise above pain and pleasure --treating pain and pleasure as two sides of the same "coin" of life, which is meant to be used and not hoarded-- in order to live morally and in Truth.

--I (thus also?) continuously try to realize and live Truth.

--I can honestly say that I have no fear of death, that both suffering and joy are tolerable as well as necessary companions on the road of life, and that wasting the gift of this life is what I truly fear and is thus what I work to overcome.

(Others have remarked that all of the above statements are true about me. They also tell me that, with my talents and experiences, I should probably become a professor. If I did, I would probably go into philosophy or comparative religion. Then again, I may end up as a renunciate. Or, both. Whatever I do next, I just turned 34 on Saturday, 12 May 2001, and with all that I have been through, and with being alive and sane and regaining my health, being 34 years old has never looked better.)

I am also special because...

--I love coffee, tobacco, tequila and the other pleasures of life, with both moderation and gusto.

--I look good.

--I love life, in its ordinary and everyday parts as much as the extraordinary and esoteric parts.

--I am a Witch.

And, I am special because of the tremendous amount of blessings I have been given. I could write for pages about them, but here I'll just mention these: life, love, family, friends, teachers, students, joys, sufferings, freedom, Truth.

Blessed Be.

--John
New Naumkeag, U.S.A.
Tuesday, 15 May 2001
john_littlew@angelfire.com


As The Intro Says, We're Not Used To Blowing Our Own Trumpets... May 15th. at 8:15:02 am UTC

Jools (Rhyl, England UK) Age: 34 - Email


As the intro says, we're not used to blowing our own trumpets, but here goes nothing!

I'm a good listener and I don't judge. If those around me have troubles, it's usually me they come to first, because they know they'll get a shoulder to cry on, or someone to yell at, who won't hold it against them, or blurt it out to the rest of the world either! They also know that if it's at all within my capabilities, I'll do anything to help anyone, and that they can call me any time, day or night, and I'm as willing to listen and make tea at two in the morning as I am at three in the afternoon! That's it, really - apart from the fact that I make a wonderful chocolate cake too ( which has played it's own part in comforting a few folks!) , which is ruinous for the diet, but your taste buds will love you forever!

Goddess and God be with us all, cos we're all special in our own unique ways!


I Think The Fact That My 16 Year Old Daughter And I... May 15th. at 1:16:18 am UTC

Pandora MoonDragon (Atlanta, Georgia US) Age: 36 - Email


I think the fact that my 16 year old daughter and I both study witchcraft(SHE got me into it!!!.....altho she is more interested in paganism in general)and she really WANTS to spend time doing things with her ol' lady...THAT makes me FEEL special! Not too many moms out there who can claim that in this day and age!


I'm Very Good At Staying Calm In Crisis Situations. It's Been A... May 14th. at 11:59:44 pm UTC

Dreamweaver (South Bend, Indiana US) Age: 34 - Email


I'm very good at staying calm in crisis situations. It's been a great asset at various times in my way-too-chaotic life to be able to stand apart from a crazy situation and think through what I should do instead of just reacting. I know that it has kept me out of trouble on many occasions.


I'm Special Because I Make Others Feel Special... *i Can Sing Well... May 14th. at 10:47:33 pm UTC

Annwyn (Christchurch, New Zealand) Age: 30 - Email


I'm special because I make others feel special...

*I can sing well enough to have my Voice Master tell me I could go far, if I really want to. I've sung my heart out at friend's weddings, and that's made them feel special.
* I'm a teaching assistant at my local Polytechnic, in classes that I am also a member of - I signed up for a beginners paper to fill some time, and since I am considered as 'too advanced' in skills to be in the paper, I might as well help out some of the people who are struggling. When they achieve improved grades, they feel special.
*I still live at home, but at a reduced board rate, as Mum gets a live-in housekeeper and I'm living on student allowance (yes, they allow us to live...just). Mum loves coming home to a clean and tidy home, so that makes her feel special.

But, aside from making others feel special, I also have a few talents of my own that make me special...

*I can tell a good bedtime story
*I always try to smile at people
*I am capable
*I am organised
*It only took me 3 years to get the gumption to actually drive the car I'd bought myself. (for me, that is a big thing...procrastination rules!)
*2 and a half years ago, I gave up a full-time job to go back to tertiary education. It was scary, and exciting, and now, I'm addicted to the student thing at 30. AAARRGH!
*I can manage to survive on $50 a week; after tax, petrol (gasoline) and board have reduced my $150.
*I love my family, my pets and my friends. Heck, I can even love my clapped out old car when it refuses to start and I'm running late for a class.

So, having tooted my own trumpet loudly and long, I will depart, leaving ringing in ears and echoes of ego scattered behind me!

Goddess loves us all!




Ouch - That's Harder Than Talking About Faults :-) This Subject Is Something With... May 14th. at 7:04:17 pm UTC

Trish Telesco (Western, New York US) Age: 41 - Email


Ouch - that's harder than talking about faults :-)

This subject is something with which I've been struggling for some time. There is part of me that always wants to do "for the sake of______ (fill in with propriety, fashion, etc.). There is another part that's plagued by the "enoughs" ... not doing enough, achieving enough. In recent months several friends and the Universe have come by with the clue-by-four and said... LOL... enough!

Each of us is special and unique, and each of us has gifts to share. My talents come in very mundane disguises: organization, professionalism, drive, fortitude, and seeing things through to completion (in a Pisces!). I also feel I'm a steadfast friend, a giver (who has trouble receiving sometimes ... grf), a guide for some and student to others, and reasonbly creative (but don't ask me to draw!). See, therein is the balance and why we need each other. You have talents I do not. I have some you may not. But when we bring together our community and work as a whole, we can make a difference!

Ok, hopping off the soapbox.


I've Always Been Told I Was Special, Both Admiringly And Mockingly, And... May 14th. at 3:58:36 pm UTC

Moondragon (San Francisco, California US) Age: 24 - Email


I've always been told I was special, both admiringly and mockingly, and growing up it was painfully obvious that I was very different from my peers. After a while I stopped my vain and exhausting attempts to 'fit in' and just started doing my own thing. Which is a lot like swimming upstream when you're a teenager. Now as an adult I'm away from that whole mentality of trying to be like others. I can more clearly see what sets me apart from the herd.

Allow me to extol my own virtues for a moment. (Wait - allow me? Whose permission do I really need but my own?)

WHY I AM SPECIAL, BY ME

I am special because I always try to do the right thing even if it means sacrificing for a stranger. I can confront my own phobias and overcome them. I never grew wisdom teeth. I've been given the gift of music and I share it constantly. I can open Band-Aids with the little red strings. I am can create a sacred space instantly wherever I am. I have an almost perfectly functioning body and I thank her every day. I make terrific Indian food. I can gargle any song in the world.

So many people I see every day can't take the time to stop and see the specialness in themselves. They see other peoples specialness and the think of themselves as unspecial, it doesn't matter how many cool things they think, say, feel or do. Instead of being miserable comparing themselves to others, I'd like to see them thinking about those things that make them unique. We're all of us different, and we each have a special role to fulfill in the Universe.


Ye Gods, What A Question! What Makes Me Special? Why, The Same... May 14th. at 3:45:24 pm UTC

Aedh Rua (Prophetstown, Illinois US) Age: 35 - Email


Ye Gods, what a question!

What makes ME special? Why, the same things that make YOU special: a complex interaction among genetics, life experiences, and the background of the soul.
So complex is this interaction that no two people are alike, but this is a truism.

In ancient Irish psychology, this mixture of factors is called dluth, a word which means warp, as in weave. Our identities are "ina dluth", which is to say, "in the warp", woven into us. The most important element of dluth is dan, a word which can mean art, vocation, talent, destiny, all as a unified concept. Our dan, and we each have one, is what we are in the end meant to do; whether we do it is up to us. Still, it is a part of ancient Gaelic tradition that everyone has a dan, everyone has value.

I probably know what my dan is, but that would be telling.......

I suppose that my knowledge of all of the above is part of what makes me special, but only a part. Most anyone can gain knowledge, if they are motivated enough.

Otherwise, my specialness is in no way special. We all are unique, and we all have something to offer. The problem is that we live in a society which only values those unique offerings which can make someone money. As a result, most of us are devalued, and learn self-hatred, to at least some extent.

Interestingly enough, the fundies, and indeed, virtually all religions, also deplore this state of affairs. Now, if we could all cooperate with one another -- Pagans, Wiccans, Xians, Moslems, Buddhists, Hindus, Jews, and all the religions I am forgetting, alike -- we could maybe do something to ensure that everyone is valued. Of course that would mean giving up our efforts to persecute others.........


I Am Special Because I Am Different. I Change My Mind All... May 14th. at 2:31:32 pm UTC

Dahlia Delacroix (Tampa, Florida US) Age: 21 - Email


I am special because I am different. I change my mind all the time. I make people laugh over nothing. I laugh over nothing. I am complex and simple at the same time. I am loved.

I am special because I am not everyone else. I am not better than anyone else, or more sspecial than them... but I am special. Ic an offer a friendship, that no one else can offer you. A fresh perspective. A good laugh. A smile, a tear... a cat fight.


Hmm, I Really Don't Think Of Myself As "special," So I'll Go... May 14th. at 2:12:17 pm UTC

9;2;2 (Derby, Kansas US) Age: 16 - Email


Hmm, I really don't think of myself as "special, " so I'll go off of other people's comments.

I have very few true friends, and many acquaintances. These treasured few have touched my life in some way. We've helped each other through hard times, sat beside each other through the good. My heartbrother Joe has helped me greatly, and I have to him as well. My heartsister Jenny, who bringing a new child into this world very soon (probably even now), still hangs in there for me, and I'm with her. She thinks I'm kind of crazy because of my music and my clothes, but we don't let that get in our way.
My bloodsister Julie has helped me through lots of very hard times, and though she may not agree with my path, she heartily encourages me to pratice, to walk in balance, to be happy.
Friend Sannion has helped me write my articles on my webpage, he's given me great counseling.
Erika is a sister Wiccan in my area, where true Pagans are rare.
I've helped Lisachan in Lake Zurich to live better, as she's had especially rocky events in her troubled, little life at such a young age. Erika, Joe and I plan to visit her this summer.

The only way one can truly tell how special someone is is by the lives they've touched and changed. Now for my moment of ego: I take pride in being unbound, with a wild free spirit, and how I'm determined never to lose the child with in.

Merry part,
9;2;2


Wow This Really Is A Tough Question, Mainly Because There Just Isn't... May 14th. at 1:44:39 pm UTC

Serena Kara (Savannah, Georgia US) Age: 23 - Email


Wow this really is a tough question, mainly because there just isn't any simple answer. I think that we all are special in our own way. I know corny corny corny, but it just happens to be true. But that isn't really the question is it? The real question is what makes me special. I am special becuase I have alot of patience. Some times I think that I have too much patience and can't give the toughness that some people need to get off their tushs.

I also think I am special becuase I hold no grudges, yah really. Just recently this guy that I sold my car to forgot to take my tag off. And got himself a ticket, well they sent me the notice. I didn't blink twice, just wrote them back telling them that I sold the car. I wasn't pissed at him or nothing. I just knew that he would get his. And he has been, everything that can go wrong on his 16 wheeler that he survives off of has. But I am just getting like that, guess I am maturing. lol

I don't know if any one really notices what is special about me. I know my hubby does, for he can't get over it sometimes. But as for close friends and relatives, nah I don't think so. I have had to cover my patience up quite a bit, becuase I found that people would walk over me. So no I don't the general public knows I am special, and what for.


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