The opinions posted on the Pagan Perspective pages are those of individuals and are not neccessarily shared or endorsed by the Witches' Voice inc.
Posted: Nov. 17, 2002
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Question of the Week: 39 - 4/30/2001
Who Are Your Gods?
Who are your Gods/Old Ones/Ancestors? Did you choose Them or did They choose you? Do you believe/perceive Them as merely evolved Beings-or are They indeed the all-powerful Masters of the Universe? Do you believe/perceive that Gods/Goddesses/Ancestors/Old Ones are extensions of your higher self, separate and distinct Beings of personality or 'all Gods and Goddesses are One'? In your times of need, do you believe that They can overturn the Laws of Karma/The Fates/The Norns for you? Why do you suppose that some prayers/pleas/invocations are seemingly ignored while others may be answered? Do you feel that the Gods/Ancestors/Old Ones may sometimes 'use' you to accomplish some greater plan than you may be humanly aware of? How do you feel about that? What has been your most powerful, meaningful or life-altering encounter with Them?
| Reponses: There are 55 responses posted to this question.
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| At The Most Basic Level, I See "divinity" Simply As Two Powerful... ||May 1st. at 10:09:28 am EDT|
|Medea (Fort Wayne, Indiana US) ||Age: 40 - Email |
At the most basic level, I see "divinity" simply as two powerful forces of nature, male and female, opposing and balanced, infusing all things. However, these forces manifest themselves to me, personally, as goddess and god. Physically I am of Celtic and Germanic origin, but I have been powerfully drawn since early childhood to the pantheon of the Ancient Greeks. My patron goddess is Hekate, and she is a very powerful force in my daily life; I can't remember a time when I wasn't drawn to her, even before I knew there were such things as modern pagans. My patron gods are Hermes and Pan (they seem to do a good job of representing my dual Sagittarian nature). I honor my deities and seek their guidance, but I don't expect them to answer my prayers -- my life is my responsbility, whether I resort to magick or more mundane methods to achieve my goals. I do believe in Fate (and reincarnation), but since I cannot really know my destiny, I simply go with the flow and live my life the best I can with guidance from my deities.
| I Have To Admit That My Gods Are Nameless. (apologies For The... ||May 1st. at 7:39:30 am EDT|
|Dryad (Aberdeen, England UK) ||Age: 32 - Email |
I have to admit that my Gods are nameless. (apologies for the lack of periods, my keyboard is having troubles today) In my prayers I call them Lord and Lady, Sun and Moon. I do call on some of the Gods by names that I am comfortable with, aspects that I am comfortable with.. They have definitely chosen me...but I've chosen them, too. Personally I believe that we are all worshipping different aspects of the same thing - The Force, to put it in Jedi terms.
I can't say I believe in a strict interpretation of Karma - I think we choose whether or not we return to this earthly plane, using as a school to explore issues that we mauy or may not have had to deal with in a past life. But that doesn't mean returning to earth is a punishment, either. Yet, on the other leaf, I do believe in fate, and that in each moment what we choose has a great bearing on that fate. Eating organic yogurt today might mean I won't have yeast problems, or that there will be more organic farms which will in turn make more organic products then eaten by more people, making land mor sustainable, etc, etc, etc. Or maybe eating yogurt means that I won't get salmonella from a somewhat uncooked egg. Of course I pray to the Fates to do this or that, but I ultimately try to expect that things will turn out for the best - even when that means I don't get something I want, or things turn out differently than I expected.
My most powerful encounter with the Fates was actually in meeting my husband. We met online, neither of us expecting to fall in love or get married, in fact I can say for sure the very idea wasn't even in our heads! But had I not gotten in that chat room when I did, had he not quoted lyrics from my favorite musician, well....who knows where either of us would be now?
| I've Only Been A Practicing Eclectic Wiccan For Three Years, So I'm... ||Apr 30th. at 11:06:11 pm EDT|
|Bryony Ravenwillow (Kansas City, Missouri US) ||Age: 32 |
I've only been a practicing eclectic Wiccan for three years, so I'm still pretty new to my path. To me, all gods and goddesses are aspects of one Lord and one Lady, and that together they form a complementary whole, like a yin/yang symbol. So while I see the Lady and Lord as whole beings in themselves, I am still drawn to god/dess aspects. The first goddess aspect to find me was Hecate. Three years ago when I was still looking for "my" goddess, it seemed that every book I scanned or flipped through would mysteriously (some would say magickally) fall open to the page about Hecate. So when I finally did my first ritual, it was Hecate I invoked. I had no tools, no script, nothing. I wasn't even completely certain I was doing it right. I told her so, apologized for my lack of knowledge, and asked her to help show me the way. I was blessing my first deck of tarot cards that night, and I guess she was listening, because it soon became clear that while I was a complete neophyte in all things pagan, I could do a mean tarot reading! So Hecate will always occupy a special place in my heart for her willingness to help a new seeker find her path.
My god aspect isn't so clearly defined. I have an affinity towards Cernunnos and the Green Man. I'm currently wrestling with a personal difficulty, and yesterday I saw the Green Man in the trees. While I'm still concerned about how my difficulty will resolve, his appearance gave me great comfort at a time when I needed it. So I think it's safe to say that the Lady and Lord do answer prayers, even if they're unspoken.
| I Call Myself An Omnitheist, Meaning That I Worship All Of The... ||Apr 30th. at 10:55:31 pm EDT|
|redwulf25 (Muskegon (soon to be Denver), Michigan US) ||Age: 24 - Email |
I call myself an Omnitheist, meaning that I worship all of the gods, like most though I have one patron and he is the god I know as Trickster. HE was known by many names in many cultures, to the Native Americans he was Raven, or Cyote (ok so I can't spell cyote . . .), to the Greeks Prometheous, to the Noris he was Loki, etc. I have seen for myself my patron overturn laws of fate, and ocasionaly of nature at my request but my patron being who he is it's offten done in a way I did not expect, often in ways I suspect he finds amusing which ocasionaly invalidate the reason for the request. In keeping with Tricksters nature however there is alwayse a lesson to go with his pranks. Ocasionaly he takes it upon himself to have a little fun at my expence without my request, but again there is alwayse a lesson even if it seems to be only "Laugh at life, it's very amusing even when it seems like everythings going to s**t." And yes I've also found that the gods use me on ocasion, I've learned to flow with it and find my life works out better if I do. I get much less thrown my way when I let the gods have theirs, and ocasionaly they'll throw me a bonus.
| For Years, I Have Felt A Special Connection To The Goddess Artemis... ||Apr 30th. at 9:14:03 pm EDT|
|Misti Grimmett (Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio US) ||Age: 18 - Email |
For years, I have felt a special connection to the Goddess Artemis and many like her. Even while I still called myself a Christian, I looked to Her as a source of strength and courage. As I've grown older, I find myself still looking towards Her for the same reasons I did before, but now I am also exploring the facets of the Gods and Goddesses whose characterists/abilities suit my needs. I try to look for the Ones who will be able to help me in the long run as well as the Ones who could help me in the present. I suppose you could say that I chose Them, although the mere fact that I was searching for Them and found what I needed suggests to me that They were probably choosing to help me at the same time.
I believe that the Gods and Goddesses are higher beings with distinct personalities. When I have been in contact with them during ritual and prayer, I have felt the differences in the individual God or Goddess I have called. However, I also believe that all Gods and Goddesses, as we have perceived them since modern times, are facets of a single male Force and a single female Force. I don't see why these two beliefs cannot coexist in my mind, since they really do make sense to me side by side.
The Gods and Goddesses can intervene in our lives, perhaps affecting Fate in different ways. They can be subtle, or they can be as obvious as a hurricane that was miraculously driven off-course. I do not claim to know for certain why some prayers are answere while others are not. However, there are times when I am sure it is the Goddess and God's way of telling me I really didn't need what I thought I did, and They are almost always right on target with that. My belief is that we are given many lives so that the Gods' plans for our specific souls can be unraveled and perfected. I find that to be a very comforting thought that motivates me to help Them along.
My most powerful and meaningful encounter with Them was very early on in my pagan journey. I was trying to meditate for the first time, and it just wasn't working. I had run through the visualization practices, tried to calm my breathing, slow my heartbeat, but I wasn't getting the results I wanted. By chance, I'd been going through some rocks I'd collected earlier at the beach. It's one of my hobbies. I was holding a normal sandstone, small, gray, fitting the palm of my hand pretty much perfectly, when I decided to try meditation one last time. I sent up a prayer to the Goddess to help me, meanwhile clutching that rock, even though I wasn't aware of it.
Everything clicked then. I was meditating and I wasn't even trying hard. I saw Her, in my mind's eye. She was so beautiful, and She smiled at me and held out her arms. I went into them and laid my head on her shoulder.
I can't tell you how long I meditated. The candle beside me was a pool of wax and a lit wick by the time I came out of the trance. And the rock I was holding had turned black with the moisture and heat from my hand as I held it.
The rock never changed back to gray. I carried it with me for two years, and I lost it one day at a different beach than the one where I'd originally found it. I regret that, but I hope someone else finds it, and that they will use it as they see fit. As for me, I have felt closer to the Goddess ever since, and whenever I need help or comfort from some tragedy in my life, I close my eyes and let Her arms enfold me.
| First Of All Let Me Say I Am Eclectic To The Extreme... ||Apr 30th. at 8:12:45 pm EDT|
|Matt Caudell (Barnesville, Georgia US) ||Age: 22 - Email |
First of all let me say I am eclectic to the extreme. Over the past few years I have studied the theoligies of may cultures all over the world. What I have found is that in the end, its all the same thing, just different names and faces. While I do believe that all Gods are one God and all Goddesses are one Goddess, just different aspects of the One, I do recognize one ultimate Spirit or Creator. This entity being beyond human comprehension, and yet we are all a part of it.
Although I have this belief in a wholeness of spirit so to speak, I do have particluar dieties I have always had a close relationship with. On the femine side I have a profound pull towards Athena, Themis, Diana, and Kwan Yin. On the masculine side its Anubis, Prometheus, Jesus, and Cernunnos. I have many others, but these are the most powerful connections I have.
Personally my definition of a "God", is that they are particularly enlightened and powerful spirits who can, and in many cases do, influence us in this plane from time to time. I don't believe that any of them on their own run the Universe. All spirits, contribute to that. I do believe, and know from experience that they can and do influence and guide us in this plane. I have in many cases felt the presence of the Gods and do think they can provide assistance at certain times. Can they overturn karma or fate? Perhaps, I honestly don't know, but I would say that for the most part we create our own fate or karma and are pretty much on our own in that department. After all, if someone refused to tie their shoes, knowing the potential dangers, and landed on their nose, I wouldn't feel guilty for not making them. We learn our own lessons in our own time. Some of them are painful, but we have only ourselves to blame, and I don't expect some diety to intervene in that. That is not to say they can't, just that they wouldn't necessarily be doing us any favors.
I definetly believe in the power of prayer, and I do believe that all prayers are answered, only sometimes the answer is no. The Gods have the ability to guide us, simply because they can doesn't mean they will. I rarely ask for anything in my prayers, I simply give thanks to them for all their guidence. Thats how I mostly feel them, just a comforting presence. But I have felt their force of will upon me also.
My most meaningful encounter with them, is when I had just began to walk the path I am now walking. I am a post-Christian Wiccan who still loves Jesus, just not his church. I had many trepidations about walking this path. The old sermons about betrayal and sin kept beating down on me. I learned to listen to my heart a long time ago, and everything in me knew I had found my path, but that wasn't enough in this case. I prayed for guidence and seemingly got none. After a long battle to reconcile these feelings, I finally gave up one night. I decided to revert back to mainstream Christianity and give up the path I so muched wanted to walk. That night, as I was about to go to bed I began flipping the channels on the TV to the Weather Channel (a nightly ritual for me). Along the way I passed a couple of Christian channels and just kept going, never even slowing down. But just as I got to my channel, something in me made me go back to one of the Christian channels. I used the numbers and went directly there, mind you I never use the numbers I always use the arrow keys. I can't even tell you which channel it was, something just possesed me and I went there. There on this Christian channel, a preacher was just beginning a sermon about being the person you were meant to be, not what everybody said you should be. He made the point that if Jesus did what everyone told him he should do, he wouldn't have been the person we know him as now, and we probably wouldn't even know him at all for that matter. The sermon was very good, and I bless the man who gave it because he has a truly beautifuly spirit. At the end of the sermon, he said that not everybody listening to him would agree with him, and he knew some of his paritioners would disagree totally, but he had to give this speech. Someone, somewhere needed to hear him that night. At that statement I knew that I was at least one of the people who did need to hear that. From then on, I've had no regrets. The unreconcilable feelings inside me reconciled within days and I embarked on this wonderful path I'm on now.
So can the Gods intervene in life changing ways? If they coudn't I don't believe I would be sitting here typing this very very very long explanation now.
Sorry for rambling, but once I get started, I have a hard time stopping.
Bright Blessings and Love to you all,
| I Guess You Could Say I'm A Monotheistic Folk Magician Who Sees... ||Apr 30th. at 3:59:27 pm EDT|
|Trish Telesco (western, New York US) ||Age: 41 - Email |
I guess you could say I'm a monotheistic folk magician who sees the Sacred Parent akin to a great crystal with many facets -- what you see of it, what names and faces you know/relate to depends a great deal on where you're standing to look at it!
At one time I called on specific names of the Divine but now have gone to usually simply saying Spirit or using the designation god/dess because I dislike putting the Divine in a neat, tidy box just to suit my limited human nature (IMHO this creates god/dess in OUR image instead of vise versa - after all, don't most children look like their parents LOL?)
I do pray in times of need (perhaps for comfort more than anything else or to feel as if at least one Being is listening - hrumph), and I have often see things come of that prayer. Perhaps it is a kind of willful manifestation, but I have to believe that *someone* heard my need and helped because that's what's in my heart. Can I prove it? Nope. Can I easily explain it and provide documentation? No. I try very hard to separate what I know/can prove from what I believe.
Why are some of those prayers not answered? Perhaps because I use the phrase "for the good of all" or "for the greatest good and it harm none" feeling that the Divine has a far better perspective. I cannot see past a certain point (call it the spiritual event horizon), but from the eternal vantage point, what we think is "good" for us often isn't!
As for whether the Ancestors and Divine choose us or vise versa - I think it's a bit of both. Most of us know the knocking on our heart's door, or the sense of calling that can come when one listens. But, none of us is required to open the door or answer - that's where free will comes in. So it's a cooperative venture... to borrow a phrase, we become co-pilots and co-creators.
| Do What Thou Wilt Shall Be The Whole Of The Law, I... ||Apr 30th. at 3:17:54 pm EDT|
|Aleksei-Ra (Portland, Oregon US) ||Age: 28 - Email |
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law,
I will begin by making two general statements. First, the divine lives inside of all of us. We are gods. "Every man and woman is a star..". I believe that the Gnosis, or the divine energy of the universe flows through every one of us as part of the full continuum of existence. We are part of the cycle, a piece of the whole and thus we have the power and the existence of the divine living in us. Second, my personal gods chose me.
With some chargin I have realized lately that the god who I am most identified with is fairly typical for a gay man (which I am). It bothered me at first and I thought about it a lot. The conclusion I finally came to was that if that was how it was, far be it for me to say no. If a specific diety manifestation lends himself to homosexual love and spirituality all the better for me right? I don't have to make adpatations.
Who is it? He has transformed somewhat as I have realized more about myself. But it is the combination of Dionysius/Pan/Baphomet. These three of course are hard to tell apart sometimes and I consider them more 3 aspects of the same thing. A short breakdown: Dionysius, the passive or submissive receptor; Pan, the active or dominant aggressor; Baphomet, the animal self, and a hermaphroditic archtype representing the dominant aspects of both masculine and feminine (thus why he has a penis as well as breasts). Baphomet's penis is also represented often as a caduceus (the two serpents intertwining the staff) which is a symbol of the Magus. In most classical interpretations, the Magus is also hermaphroditic and thus capable of controlling magick because he has balanced all aspects positive and negative, male and female, light and dark within himself.
I believe these gods to be both aspects of my higher self as well as forces of energy outside myself. Something so pervasive throughout the pagan culture of today as well as through history didn't come from nowhere. What are they exactly? Are they real beings? Who knows- that's why they are gods and not people. I have had actual encounters with this energy in dreams and on the astral plane, but since Dionysius did not walk up to me while I was having a smoke at work and say, "Hi! I'm Dionysius!" I cannot say for sure if they have physical bodies or not.
Can they TAKE physical form? Without a doubt! I believe myself to have been the instrument of their Will more than once. Often in ritual I am overcome by the god force and do or say things which I would not have known or done otherwise.
>What has been your most powerful, meaningful or life-altering encounter with >Them?
I have had a series of dreams for all of my adult life and part of my late teens involving Dionysius. The story is far to complex to tell in this post. However, I have kept a journal of most of them and have noticed a direct correlation between these dreams and stages of my personal and spiritual development. I have these dreams regularly, but with alarming frequency when there is some major change either in progress or about to begin in my life. The interesting part is that these dreams really are a story, like I am in a movie or something, and very vivid and very cohesive. I do NOT dream that way about anything else, EVER. My normal dreams are always disjointed, highly symbolic and have no plot. The only conclusion I can come to, and now present it as fact is that I am not dreaming, but actually leaving my body in my sleep and going to an astral place where I meet up with Dionysius or at least a projection of him.
>In your times of need, do you believe that They can overturn the Laws of >Karma/The Fates/The Norns for you?
Absolutely not. However, I do know that they will do things for you if you ask. Always. There is always a price to pay, but I am more than willing to do so. I have had many times where I have had the feeling of being given a choice, "Do you REALLY want that? I'll give it to you." It keeps me honest. Sure, I WANT the mean jerk in my office to go away but what do I need to sacrifice or pay in exchange for that?
In a more formal setting I have also magickally invoked the aid of my gods. The results are always the same- they help me as long as I keep my end of the deal. You can't just light a gold candle and bury pennies in your back yard and expect that you will get rich- sorry, it doesn't work that way. You still have to light the candle and bury the pennies, or whatever- you have to cast the spell. But you also have to go to work every day and exceed, go to the beach with a picnic on the long weekend instead of to Maui for 6 days, buy shoe polish instead of new shoes and stop eating out for a month. I have found over and over again that the gods help those who help themselves. And when I ask for magickal aid I know that I have to live up to my end of the bargain too. Using the money spell as in example: sure if you do all that it works because you SPEND less money, but what about the BIG raise you got too? And the additional savings you have becuase you re-conditioned yourself? Unfortunatley magick is not like it is on TV. Ritual and magick and spells and what not are more yoga than "magic".
A last note on my other gods. I feel an equal connection to the female god force as well. However, it is more an archetype than an actual specific goddess. I have always been drawn to the Dark Mother, the Fertile Destroyer, the goddess who has the duality of creator and destroyer. Not so much the Crone. More goddesses like Nephthys or Hera or even Diana.
I think that's all for now.
Love is the Law, Love Under Will.
| I Do Not Believe In Any "god" As Such. I Do Believe... ||Apr 30th. at 3:15:38 pm EDT|
|Zyleris (Wichita, Kansas US) ||Age: 17 - Email |
I do not believe in any "God" as such. I do believe that everything holds some type of special power that can only be seen through eyes that have been opened.
I don't like the idea that some "Higher Power" has controlled my life, or has already traced my path of fate for me...I wish to do this alone...you know, leave my options open. Just the fact of knowing that I can make my own decisions and that someone or something else isn't making them for me is very relieving to my mind... I feel I can do whatever the time brings without having to worry about breaking a "rule."
I have began looking into herbal magick and find it very interesting...Each herb seems to have its own power or purpose... My mother has been helping me along with understanding what she sees...for now, she is my eyes because I haven't been able to open mine all the way.
If you wish to ask me who my "God" is....I will have to say that my mother is my Godess to me...she is my figure head leading me along a path yet undiscovered by my feelings.
| My Gods Are Infinite, Everything, Deity, Gaia And The Cosmos. To Be... ||Apr 30th. at 2:27:02 pm EDT|
|Ben (Leeds, England UK) ||Age: 27 |
My Gods are infinite, everything, Deity, Gaia and the cosmos. To be touched by Them is to know that They are so old and cover everything here that was, is, and will be.
I think that They have to have touched you for you to come to Them, its a kind of calling I guess. It doesn't matter when or at what stage of your life you're at, They will pick you up for reasons only known to them.
They guide and protect us like children and we repay that with the smallest tokens. Why us? It is not something I feel that I will ever know but I draw so much strength and comfort from Them. The feelings I get when They are with me are all the proof I need of Their omnipotent presence. They can alter karma, They can deal fate, nothing is outside Their bounds, its just that we are so small and easily hurt that They choose to treat us gently. We can't try to pidgeon hole these most wonderous and magickal ones. We shouldn't try too hard to pin Them down and make Them easy to understand because They are not. When you feel Them near you for the first time, most of the teachings become just a background noise.
My Goddess and God are everything and whatever my calling is, I just hope I live up to it.
| My Gods Were The Father, Mary And Jesus -- Not Because They Had... ||Apr 30th. at 1:23:20 pm EDT|
|Kerry Marie McGrath - Christo Pagan in Training (Warren, New Jersey US) ||Age: 33 |
My Gods were The Father, Mary and Jesus -- not because They had to be; they just WERE. In fact, I can't say that they're not now. But I'm sure that the human race wasn't a bunch of savage maniacs before Christ either. Being raised as a Roman Catholic by a non-practicing Roman Catholic mom (that I lost 10 years ago and miss her like it was yesterday), I grew up really believing in Heaven because that's where my father "lived.' You see, I lost my father two months shy of my 5th birthday. Every night, I would say an Our Father (aka the Lord), a Hail Mary (aka the Lady), and then I would pray for all of my relatives. "God bless Mommy; God Bless Daddy -- in Heaven, " etc. So I grew up believing in Heaven because that's where my Daddy was living since he didn't live with me and my Mommy anymore. Then we would have to pray for the souls in "pugatory." "What does that mean Mommy?" "Those are the people that didn't get a chance to tell God they were sorry for what they did wrong, so if we pray for them, we help them get to God, Jesus and Mary in Heaven." We NEVER talked about hell (unless she was telling me to actually go there when she was POed at me when I got older!) I went to Roman Catholic school from the third grade straight through to senior year (managed to get thrown out of an all girls school in the process -- those nuns were nasty!) I went to Mass almost every Saturday night or Sunday with my sister. I found a lot of comfort in going to Church - the whole ritual with the Body and Blood of Christ, sharing the Host with the congregation. I was never forced into going to confession; Mom always said it was OK to pray at home and that God would forgive me if I did something wrong. It didn't have to be "that way." When Mom died, she died in April, and I found more comfort in attending Mass during Holy Week than ever. Death and resurrection; death and life after death.
Then I had my times of need. I met my ex-husband. He was married before. He is also Roman Catholic. The Roman Catholic Church permitted his four month pregnant ex-wife to be wed there. However, if I wanted to marry in the Church I practically lived in (the school was actually connected to that Church), then we would have to have a very, very messy annulment. Trying to be unselfish, I explained to my ex-husband that I knew his divorce was long and painful, and that I would be willing to marry elsewhere. Gee, my very own brother-in-law was a minister, how nice it would be to be married by someone that I've known my entire lifetime? Nope, couldn't do that. "You don't belong to our Church." I seriously thought I would end up getting married by the captain of the local fire department since the Mayor was on vacation. But I didn't want a civil ceremony. I wanted to be married in the eyes of God. We married in the Episcopal Church -- ex-hubby's uncle was best friends with their pastor. I'm certain that if that weren't the case that we would have been out of luck there too. We still wanted to attend Mass at our Roman Catholic Church but my ex-husband could not "receive" because remarrying "ex-communicated" him.
I researched other Christian religions so my husband could be a part of this. That's when the frustration came in. The other Christian religions were cold, selective, and basically unforgiving. So I led my life with no center.
My husband and I separated last July. I expected the support of my family. But since "I" decided to separate, I had to hear "God hates divorce, " from most of my family that converted from Roman Catholicism to some born again non-demoninational group. I'm sure God does hate divorce -- it's painful! I don't care for it myself.
Then I finally realized something that I always knew but never really paid attention to: Jesus never wrote a Gospel.
Why am I following this book to the letter? Wouldn't God want me to be happy?
I stumbled upon the Modern Pagan Community through my best friend's brother's wife's (whew!) Pagan parenting site. I was curious. I did some more surfing; then I started to study. Every book that I've read (thus far) has told me that I do not have to abandon my faith completely to embrace a Pagan path. True, a lot of people are going to think that I want to have my cake and eat it too, BUT, as I wrote above, I'm certain that there was a force that led, and still leads, us all. Christ just happened to be human. But He was born of a Virgin birth, and to me, that makes Mary a Goddess.
In addition, being very interested in my paternal Irish heritage since I never knew my father, I started to read about the Celts. I learned that there are more Churches in Ireland named after Bridget than there are after Mary! She's also recognized as a Roman Catholic Saint! So I guess I'm drawn to Brigid as Goddess, and Cernunnos as one of the Gods. And Jesus Christ.
However, I must note that I now feel some peace in my life in my studies. I get confused, and I haven't even gotten started with practicing anything, so I'm sure I'll screw up left and right, but I don't think I need to abandon my believe in the Man nor the Lord and the Lady of the Universe.
| Greetings All! My Name Is Heidi, Iam A 35 Year Old Heathen... ||Apr 30th. at 1:01:20 pm EDT|
|heidi (stump city) ||Age: 35 |
Greetings all! My name is Heidi, Iam a 35 year old heathen, of Germanic, Slavic and Celtic decent. I wanted to share two of my dreams, as they were most important to me in knowing the Gods of my path. Yes, I feel in my bones and heart the Gods and Goddesses are real. They make the Cosmos "go". They manifest in many forms and ways, they help, they hinder, they just sit back and don't care. Sometimes they give, or take. These dreams all manifested at times of spiritual need, the first when I was newly exposed to the traditions of my Germanic ancestors, and the second when life was harder than it is now for me. I consider them gifts, and all the subsequent dreams They send. Once I dreamnt about walking down a mountain trail, high snow capped mountains around me, soft new spring greenery was everywhere, and the trail was bordered with flowers, larkspur, daisies, lupines.As I walked I busily picked up eagles feathers from the trail, my arms were full of them. Over head a huge , beautiful eagle, soared into the branches of the biggest oak tree I have ever seen. It perched on top, and gazed down at me, watching as I gathered it's feathers. Now in this dream I was lucid, meaning I knew conciously that this was not a dream induced by my dinner, no, this was a "special" dream, and it was important. I looked up at the eagle, and behind it a huge thunderhead boiled and rolled, the wind kicked up and a massive bolt of lightnening slashed across the skylike a golden net. Where there should have been a thunder clap to shake my bones, the eagle looked me in the eyes and opened it's golden beak saying "I AM WODAN!!!!" It's voice boomed out over the mountains, shook the earth, and brought me to tears of joy. It gazed on me with such strong love and power that I knew I was in the right place. I was not scared, but I knew that I was seeing the Gods Wodan and Donnar. I woke up abruptly, and thanked the Gods for their message. This was how I came to know Wodan/Odin and Donnar /Thor. Many months later, when my life was full of turmoil, I dreamnt of standing alone on the Ukrainian steppe. The wind howled in my ears, and when I looked down at my feet I saw I wore soft leather boots. My tunic was fine linen, my pants of wool, dyed red and silk embriodered. My long hair was braided in ornate coils. Over my tunic I wore a mail shirt of fine gold. I stood and gazed out across the wind tossed field. It was midsummer, and Saule, the Queen Sun, was high in the sky. I saw in the distance a rider, and he was dressed in golden armor, in the manner of the old russian warriors. His horse was white and splendid. The rider came to me and told me He was Perun, the God of my ancestors, and that there were other Gods who watched out for me. With that he pointed to the four directions and other riders appeared. They rode up, and each was dressed in the old manner, beared and in in glorious armor. They spent the dream telling me many magical things and when I awoke I wept. It was this dream that helped me to be strong, to have courage, to be brave. My life improved, and I began to actively honor the Gods/Goddesses of my Slavic and Germanic ancestors. During a summer thunder storm I dedicated myself to Donnar /Perun, the lightening crashing and flashing as I stood barefoot in pouring rain, spinning and singing. Pouring out dark stout ale to Him, My clothes drenched, legs muddied, I laughed with joy. I asked for a sighn, and the sky flashed with white hot brilliance, Thor's hammer split the sky.. I built household altars, and in the local park I found a fresh water spring, hidden from the main trail. I would go there and leave offerings and such.Pray, sing, ask Nerthus/Mokosh for Her blessings and thank Her for all that She has done. She answered. When I went there and cried out my sorrows over a lostlove, She helped me to find center again. I brought mead, bread and honey to a thicket of wild roses and raspberries that grew over a large boulder. I poured out the honey to Freya, and broke the bread for Her there. I poured out a bottle of mead, well, I did drink some of it too:) Mead sweet and sticky ran golden over the smooth stone, and honey bees came to lap it up. I don't always ask for personal help or boons to be granted by Freya. (or any of the Gods) I honor them with offerings, art, songs, good dinners, toast in their honor, and ritual. But a year ago when I had had enough of being a bachelorette I asked for my log term mate to be made know to me. I had a list of particulars about him. I lit a fire, I burned herbs, I hopped up and down and wailed about my plight.
Freya heard my plea for a loving devoted wonderful mate, and She has blessed me with love, friendship, and prosperity in many ways. I thank Her.
Sometimes The Gods/Goddesses help us, sometimes They trip us, and sometimes They say "time to come home now, back to the Summerlands.." I have wondered many times why the Gods did not stop the xtians from destroying Their holy places, why people turned away from their traditions. I wonder too why The Goddesses allow women to remain objects of abuse or scorn in many parts of the world. Why we are allowed to go on destroying the earth, I wonder on many things like this. I don't have the answers.
I don't get to know all that until I too cross over, and even then maybe I still won't know. I do know that i feel the Gods manifest in my world, in this
walk through life. I honor them as best I can, and am pleased that this is my path.
In friendship and joy, heidi the smith "
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