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Posted: Nov. 17, 2002
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Question of the Week: 47 - 6/25/2001
Are you a Talker or a Listener?
Do you tend to do most of the Talking in a relationship or in conversation? Or are you more the Listener- the one who is usually found quietly nodding your head over there in the corner? As a Talker, are you sometimes frustrated if people don't seem to get what you are trying to say-don't really 'listen' to your point except to form arguments or responses of their own? As a Listener, do you feel somehow 'unappreciated' because you tend to be more thoughtful than outwardly verbal? Does it frustrate you when your speech gets 'lost' in the flurry of conversations or debates? Do you have any idea how people might develop better 'Talking" or 'Listening' skills? And just for fun, you might want to take the The Introvert/Extrovert Personality Test, the Communication Skills Test or one of the other tests listed Index of 121 Tests. Let us know which test that you took, what the results were and what you learned about yourself that may help you in the future to better communicate your Life Story.
| Reponses: There are 14 responses posted to this question.
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| I Think That In General I Am An Intorvert, Becuase I Am... ||Jun 27th. at 12:18:09 pm EDT|
|Arielle (Seattle, Washington US) ||Age: 43 - Email |
I think that in general I am an intorvert, becuase I am in many ways a very private person. I know that some of the people I work with think they know me well and really know very little. Yet when I am together with my extended family, we are all chatting and very active in our conversations. It has been overwhelming for some people knew to the situation, and some of them just fit right in. But in public we fit all levels of intro- and extroverts. For me, it seems to be who I am comfortable with, and whether they would be comfortable with all aspects of me. I don't really discuss religion with many people, and there have never been any religious discussions at work - but then I think I may be the most "religious" person there! I have gotten to a point in life where I am going to do what is right for me, but I was raised not to be in everyone's face about my personal choices. Any choices that don't effect them are probably not their business anyway. But maybe that attitude is the intorvert in me talking!
| I Find That I Am, Most Often, A Talker. The General Rule... ||Jun 26th. at 1:43:50 pm EDT|
|Bronwyn (Keene, New Hampshire US) ||Age: 30 - Email |
I find that I am, most often, a talker. The general rule of thumb on that seems to be that to be a "talker" by nature is somewhat negative; thatwe are perhaps rude or indifferent to others. I have certainly had experienceon that side. There have been many times, especially in my younger days, when being "chatty" has gotten me into a heap of trouble: at school, interrupting people's conversations, not letting friends get a word in. But those poor attributes seem to have been a matter of lack of maturity and temperance.
I have since learned that a talkative nature, much like many other qualities that can be negative if they are allowed to go unchecked (sensetivity becoming hyper-sensetivity, ambition becoming aggression, etc.)can become an asset in many ways. I find it easy to approach others and engage people in conversation, in a room where the atmosphere is too reserved and quiet, just let us talkative people loose and things pick up. With shy people, I am often able, by offering myself up verbally first, to draw them out of their shells. I am not afraid to offer my opinion, nor to speak up for myself and any other who may need my help.
Being on the talkative side can be a marvelous tool, Bravo to all the chatter-boxes! Just don't forget, once you have initiated the gab, how important it is and how much we can all learn, from letting others have their say, too!
| I Took The Introvert/extrovert Test And Got A 52 Which Is... ||Jun 25th. at 10:41:36 pm EDT|
|John (Pietermaritzburg) ||Age: 27 - Email |
I took the Introvert/Extrovert test and got a 52 which is in the middle. That's about right. There are times when i am very extroverted (some have accused me of being egotistical which i am not but i know why they accuse me of such) and other times i just want to be by myself. I am used to being by myself because few people understand my Politics or Spirituality and i am not prepared to lie about that to satisfy anyone. But i wish i wasn't alone so much. People have always moved in and out of my life. Sometimes i have been glad about that, other times the wrong people have drifted away (people i have tried to keep in contact with but have drifted away anyway.
P.S. Excuse me if i sound melancholy, i am just thinking a lot about a lost love(doesn't everyone have one or several of those). I sometimes get too melancholy when i think about lost loves.
| I Took Four Of The Suggested On-line Test; Two For Seriousness And... ||Jun 25th. at 10:02:27 am EDT|
|Kerry Marie McGrath (Warren, New Jersey US) ||Age: 33 - Email |
I took four of the suggested on-line test; two for seriousness and two for fun. On the "Introvert/Extrovert Test" I scored a 36 which says that I am an introvert (although others may think quite to the contrary). On the "Communications Skills Test" I scored a 56 with a note that more or less said "not bad but you could use some work." Since one of my former beaus nicknamed me the "green-eyed monster" years ago, I thought the "Jealousy Test" would be appropriate (well, that and the fact that my current beau insists that I should seek therapy immediately!) I scored a 33 on the general test, with a 43 for emotions & thinking, but a 22 with behavior. So I guess only the lucky guy and me get to experience the "joy that is me!" I took the "Snob Test" because I've been accused of that (behind my back) but I only came out with a 45 so I guess that isn't THAT bad. Then for the heck of it, I took the "Dysfunctional Famkily Test" and surprisingly we're not that bad (25 -- but I guess this is by comparison to the likes of the Jerry Springer show, and yeah, we have more class than that!)
Relationships (w/ men): I KNOW I TALK TOO MUCH! Friendships (women and men, but mostly women): we're all a bunch of chatterboxes, but we all keep right up with each other and nothing falls through the cracks. Professionally: I have a tendency to feel ignored by other women while the men are better listeners. (Or they aren't really listening!) Family (siblings): Given that I'm the "baby of the family, " they know everything and are quick to tell me how to live my life regardless of whether or not I am even asking!
To summarize it all, I feel more comfortable with friends and family than I do with anyone else. I feel that I do have the appropriate balance as a listener and a talker. On the job, I try to keep my mouth shut. As a matter of fact, I'm trying to stop acting like "Dear Abby" with my family and friends because after my separation, divorce, etc., I'm learning that it is healthier for me to just be a good friend and listen to people's problems but not be so quick to share my thoughts just because something worked for me.
With age comes wisdom...
| I'm A Bit Of Both Though I Am More Introvertive. I Usually... ||Jun 25th. at 1:34:21 am EDT|
|Angela McMullen (Montoursville, Pennsylvania US) ||Age: 22 - Email |
I'm a bit of both though I am more introvertive. I usually find myself listening more than talking. Actually it depends on how well I know the person. If I know someone really well than I usually do more talking. If the person is more of an aquaintance I'll listen more. I'll speak a little bit especially if the aquaintance and I have some common ground but I'm more or less quiet.
| I Tend To Be The One Talking. Recently Though I Have Attempted... ||Jun 25th. at 12:58:34 am EDT|
|Rodney C. Knight (Rock Springs) ||Age: 33 - Email |
I tend to be the one talking. recently though I have attempted (well make that ing, since I am still trying) to be more of a listener. I work closely with people in my business and noticed that I was starting to dominate the client. This is bad of course and now I force myself to listen.
I do have a tendancy to not communicate very well. I think much faster than I speak sometimes, and of course when the brain is running a 1 Ghz, and the mouth is a 486, things get lost. After reading about the talking stick, maybe I should carry one with me. At least it would be a great conversation starter.
| I'm More Of A Listener, And An Introvert... I Think The Word... ||Jun 25th. at 12:44:17 am EDT|
|9;2;2 (Derby, Kansas US) ||Age: 16 - Email |
I'm more of a listener, and an introvert... I think the word "recluse" will do me better justice. When I really get into talking about something, I can speak arcanely... or in other words, to the point where only I understand what the hell I'm talking about. But I don't talk much. People flame me for my ideas - Pagans as well as others - and try to bomb my beliefs, and enforce their sugar-coated crack on me. I do listen well, and reveal little. I only wish my poor memory were better.
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