Old Teen Essays
NOTE: The essay on this page contains the writings and opinions of the listed author(s) and is not necessarily shared or endorsed by the Witches' Voice inc.
The Witches' Voice does not verify or attest to the historical accuracy contained in the content of this essay.
All WitchVox essays contain a valid email address, feel free to send your comments, thoughts or concerns directly to the listed author(s).
Article ID: 4350
Age Group: Adult
Posted: July 8th. 2002
Michelle Remembers 
by Kerr Cuhulain
When Pazder later gets the photos developed, believes that he sees a figure in a long glowing white gown in the photos. He shows the photos to Michelle and she says: "that's Mary with the child," once again giving him the feed back that will allow her to introduce this element in the upcoming disclosures. Dr. Pazder also claims to see thirty smaller beings in the picture, moving and changing form, which he obviously presumes to be demons. Pazder says that he went to his father, who ran a graphic arts business, and that his father assured him that there was no way to explain these anomalies. Pazder then says that he consulted other unnamed "experts" in photography who told him the same thing. He does not name these experts. We must keep in mind that Pazder's father was a devout Catholic like Dr. Pazder. Dr. Pazder has examples of some of these photos both in the book and in colour on the back of the dust jacket. I've got a photo lab and to me it looks like a good example of a lens flare from the light of the fire. Members of my police department's Forensic Squad, who do the photography for the department, arrived at the same conclusion when I showed these photos to them.
Next Michelle tells tales of being given drugs by the doctor and given electrical shocks. The room where this supposedly occurs is full of coffins and the doctor spends hours dismembering dead bodies and sewing them back together again with the limbs in the wrong places, sending electrical shocks through them to make them jump. Michelle later describes how she is presented to a little girl and made to hug her, discovering that this is another of these poorly reassembled corpses that the doctor was making earlier. Michelle also alleges that the doctor was drilling her teeth and pulling them out. She claims that the doctor showed her in a mirror how she looked and Michelle says: "Some of my teeth are gone... I want my teeth back."
Pazder attempts to corroborate Michelle's disclosure by stating in a footnote that in Appendix three there is a letter by dentist Donald L. Poy who "in 1978 examined the adult Michelle's teeth and found evidence of the trauma she described". In fact Poy's letter reads: "On May 13, 1978, I saw Michelle Smith presenting with extreme pain localized to the upper left central incisor. The radiograph did not show any periapical changes, however the root canal of the tooth appeared somewhat narrow indicating a degenerative change of the pulpal tissues, quite likely resulting from trauma to the tooth at an earlier age (6- 10)." Poy concludes this letter by saying he performed a root canal on her. As with the information from the paediatrician earlier, this is inconclusive, as any number of things could have caused this trauma and Michelle could easily have worked this event from her childhood into the story. No statements by her childhood dentist are tendered as evidence. Also note how Michelle is saying quite clearly that several teeth are missing and Poy is not. Poy is saying that he found trauma to one tooth.
The weirdness reaches its peak when Michelle discloses that she is present at a ceremony where Satan makes a personal appearance. This non-stop ceremony is supposedly eighty one days in length, running from September 7, 1955 to November 27, 1955. Michelle makes no mention of the cult members pausing to eat or satisfy the calls of nature. Pazder identifies this last date to us as the last day of the Church's liturgical year, a fact which signifies very little. Father Guy Merville at the Catholic church Michelle has been attending suggests to her that the ceremony she described was a "Black Mass called the Feast of the Beast, a rite that takes place only once every twenty seven years."
Michelle describes Satan as standing in the middle of three circles of followers. There are hundreds of celebrants at this ritual, indicating that the circular room that Michelle described earlier must be the size of an large auditorium. Such a building would certainly have stood out no matter where in Victoria it was situated and the comings and goings of so many odd people with missing fingers carrying dead babies and many cats, surely would have been noticed by someone and reported to the authorities. The story becomes even more weird when Michelle describes Satan as magically transforming the room into an even larger oddly shaped enclosure. There is a diagram of it on page 211 of Michelle Remembers. If you compare it to the picture of the burning back of the chair on page 176, you'll see that the supposed floor plan of this "temple" looks exactly the same as the silhouette of the chair. Pazder says that this is "based on the Horns of Death, the Satanic emblem used on the altar cloths and the backs of cloaks", falling back on his interpretation of the bench earlier and the disclosures that followed.
Satan's followers chant: "Omni, omnay, omnay,..." repeatedly. Omni is a Latin term meaning "everywhere" and this chant does not appear in any grimoire or description of Satanic ritual that I have read over the years in the course of my studies.
Satan speaks to his followers in very bad poetry. Father Guy Merville explains this later by saying: "In church history, we learn that it is usual for Satan to speak in rhymes. I have read his rhymes in French, in German, in Spanish, in English. I have read rhymes from the Middle Ages. If you look up Satan in a theological dictionary, it will say that he is known to speak in rhymes. And the form of the rhymes reveals his personality. They do not have an orderly structure, but they are very intelligent... People shouldn't dismiss these rhymes as foolish or stupid." Isn't "orderly structure" part of what rhymes are? I looked in several theological dictionaries and found no mention of the devil communicating through poetry. The grammar of the poetry involved here is that of a grade school student and, contrary to what Merville says, not indicative of any high level of intelligence. There are pages and pages of this inferior poetry in Michelle Remembers. Here are two brief examples:
"Out of dark and fire red
Comes a man of living dead.
I only walk the earth at night.
I only burn out the light.
I go where everybody's afraid.
I go and find the ones who've strayed.
All the darkest forces, they are mine.
The darkest forces all entwine..."
"One and one equal two.
These are bones that once were new.
Add them up, you'll think it's right.
Add them my way, it makes a fight!"
Michelle alleges that Satan wrapped his tail around her neck and dragged her around this ritual auditorium to show her visions of his kingdom. She describes the end of his tail as being pointed "like an arrowhead". At the end of the disclosures of this ritual Michelle shows Pazder that she has developed a rash shaped like the end of the Devil's tail on her neck. I have been told by experts in hypnosis that this is a common symptom of persons having a marked susceptibility to hypnosis and not necessarily an indication of any traumatic incident that actually occurred.
The "Black Mass" described by Michelle "starts at the altar... Satan leads a procession up one horn and back again; en route he provides a Vision of Hell. Again from the altar, they proceed up the other horn- for a Vision of Despair. They return to the altar, and a human sacrifice takes place... They [then] proceed to the first crossbar... [where] Satan begins to recite what corresponds to the Gospel in the Christian Mass... he then takes a large wooden crucifix and whittles it to nothing, from the bottom up, throwing the chips in the fire... he [then] delivers his Master Plan, which corresponds to the Christian sermon... the procession reaches the lower end... [where] Satan instructs his priests and gives them fresh power through an elaborate ritual of counting and the arrangement of relic bones stolen from the sanctuaries of churches. New priests are initiated; they chop off the middle finger of one hand to signify their fealty... Finally comes Satan's parting words, his malediction. The Black Mass is over. Satan departs, and his minions go forth into the world to carry out his instructions." In this case Satan promises Armageddon in 1980. Neither Dr. Pazder nor Michelle comment on the fact that the end of the world did not occur, even though the copyright of the book is 1980.
Pazder comments that "It is believed that most of the bones were holy relics stolen from churches. Throughout Christian history, unto this day, reliquaries have been broken into frequently and their contents taken away. Newspapers refer to these incidents as 'acts of vandalism', but some Church authorities understand otherwise." Pazder does not identify these "Church authorities."
The business about cutting off fingers is straight out of Warnke's earlier book, The Satan Seller. Therefore, I must again ask the question: where are all these people with missing fingers? Later Michelle describes the victim of the sacrifice in this Black Mass as a "pubescent girl" whom Satan himself sacrifices with a knife. Where is the missing person report?
During the disclosure of this ritual Michelle speaks a few simple phrases in French: "Au nom du Pere... et du Saint Esprit... les enfants... ma petite, avec moi... La lumeire... Allumez... Jesu... assistez les enfants... Il est blanc... Oui, monsieur, assistez... Ma mere... Maman... Oh, ma mere... ou est ma mere?... votre mere... Merci beaucoup". Dr. Pazder professes to be astonished and states that he had never heard her speak French before. These phrases are very basic and hardly indicate a command of the French language, especially in Canada where it is one of the official languages. Michelle later admitted to Vancouver Sun reporter Tim Padmore that she took French in her first year at university. Pazder himself admits in Michelle Remembers that "At the university [Michelle] majored in psychology" indicating that she went to university before she became his patient. It appears that Michelle is putting her knowledge of both of these subjects to use in concocting her story.
Another bizarre element of Michelle's disclosure is that she claims that Jesus, the Virgin Mary and the archangel Michael come to her in person during the Black Mass and speak to her without the Devil being aware of this. The Virgin Mary speaks to her in French. Michelle consistently refers to her as "Ma Mere" ("my mother"), though why she should consider Mary French is anyone's guess. One would have thought that Mary would have been more likely to use her native tongue than French (Hebrew is not an easily accessible official Canadian language, however). Both Jesus and Mary tell her that they unfortunately can't take her away from the horrors that she is supposedly in the process of experiencing, because one day they want her to tell the world what happened.
Remember my repeated emphasis of incidents from which Michelle should have come away with scars? Michelle uses the appearance of the archangel Michael as a messenger of Mary here to explain away a lack of scars as evidence. The angel states: "[Mary] says there won't be any scars." How convenient! Once again they use a miracle to solve their evidence problems. It is also Mary who tells Michelle that she will "put everything that you've seen and heard,... in a safe place. We'll keep it safe." In other words, it is the Virgin Mary herself that is responsible for Michelle's alleged memory loss!
Pazder himself gives us a clue as to where Michelle got her ideas for this bizarre personal visitation of Satan et al. Pazder says that he would often thumb through the Book of Revelation and "marvelled at...correspondences to Michelle's testimony." The correspondences are indeed similar:
Jesus appears in the Book of Revelation as a figure in white clothed in light just like in Michelle's account.
Mary appears in Revelation as a mother just as she is described by Michelle.
Angels appear to Michelle, just as they appeared to John in the Book of Revelation.
The Devil appears in several forms in the Book of Revelation, for example described as a "great dragon... that ancient serpent, who is called the Devil and Satan" and later as having two horns. Michelle provides three very crude sketches of Satan's supposed appearance that are included in this book. They show Satan as a dragon, one of them showing him with ram's horns. These drawings by Michelle correspond exactly to the descriptions found in the Book of Revelation.
In the Book of Revelation John is shown visions, just as Michelle is.
The Devil in Michelle's account talks about the rituals occurring in a twenty eight year cycle, referring to this number obliquely as a multiplication of the numbers four and seven. These numbers appear repeatedly in Revelation.
Given the other correspondences we have discovered in this text between African rituals and popular movies and Michelle's account, I consider it more than a coincidence that Michelle's description of this supposed Black Mass should correspond to The Book of Revelation.
For Pazder, his greatest problem with this bizarre disclosure is simply this: At the time that this eighty one day ritual, running from September 7, 1955 to November 27, 1955, was supposedly occurring, Michelle was in school. The St. Margaret's School yearbook for 1955/1956 shows that Michelle was enrolled in Form 1B at this school with 23 other children. Her sister Tertia was also enrolled at this school, in form 1A. If Michelle had been involved in this marathon ritual, she would have been missing from school. If Michelle had suffered the privations that she describes in the book, her appearance would have reflected the tortures that she was allegedly suffering. Yet the class photo for Michelle's class was taken in November of 1955 and shows Michelle looking entirely normal, indicating that not only was she attending school but that there were no symptoms of her supposed ordeal to be seen. A review of this school's year books for the period from 1955 to 1964 show that Michelle remained a student at this school, later moving on to St. Ann's Academy, from which she graduated in 1967. These are both exclusive private religious schools with small classes. Anomalies would have been noticed.
I contacted Diane Lockyer, the wife of a doctor and a friend of Michelle's mother. Lockyer's daughter Gillian went to St. Margaret's and befriended Tertia, Michelle's sister. Lockyer reports that none of the Proby girls ever disappeared mysteriously, that there were no signs of any Satanic activity around the Proby house, and that the Proby girls adored their mother. Lockyer stated that Michelle was certainly not missing from school at the time that this marathon ritual was supposedly taking place.
Remember Pazder's claim that the dates of disclosures in 1976/77 correspond to dates in 1954/55? The fact that Michelle was in school and could not possibly have been involved in an eighty one day ritual in 1955 completely destroys Pazder's theory. If these events didn't happen in 1955, then Pazder's comparisons between dates in these years are obviously incorrect and there must be some other explanation for these particular dates being significant.
You will recall that earlier I pointed out that these dates were all important Catholic festivals. As Dr. Pazder was a devout Catholic, these are festivals that he would have celebrated with his family if he hadn't been summoned urgently by Michelle on these very days, Michelle claiming that some particularly important memory that was about to surface. This is a clue leading to a series of other revelations about the fraudulent nature of this book that we will explore in Parts III and IV of this article.
(Continued... Click HERE for page III)
| ABOUT... |
Location: Surrey, British Columbia
Bio: Kerr Cuhulain the author of this article, is known to the mundane world as Detective Constable Charles Ennis. Ennis, a former child abuse investigator, is the author of several articles on child abuse investigation that appeared in Law & Order Magazine. Better known to the Pagan community by his Wiccan name, Kerr Cuhulain, Ennis was the first Wiccan police officer to go public about his beliefs 28 years ago. Kerr is now the Preceptor General of Officers of Avalon. Kerr went on to write four books: The Law Enforcement Guide to Wicca (Horned Owl Publishing), Wiccan Warrior and Full Contact Magick: A Book of Shadows for the Wiccan Warrior. (Llewellyn Publications), as well as a book based on this series: Witch Hunts: Out of the Broom Closet (Spiral Publishing).
Email Kerr: email@example.com
Other Articles: Kerr Cuhulain has posted 182 additional articles- View them?
Other Listings: To view ALL of my listings: Click HERE
Email Me... (Yes! I have opted to receive invites to Pagan events, groups, and commercial sales)
Web Site Content (including: text - graphics - html - look & feel)
Copyright 1997-2014 The Witches' Voice Inc. All rights reserved
Note: Authors & Artists retain the copyright for their work(s) on this website.
Unauthorized reproduction without prior permission is a violation of copyright laws.
Website structure, evolution and php coding by Fritz Jung on a Macintosh G5.
Any and all personal political opinions expressed in the public listing sections (including, but not restricted to, personals, events, groups, shops, Wren’s Nest, etc.) are solely those of the author(s) and do not reflect the opinion of The Witches’ Voice, Inc. TWV is a nonprofit, nonpartisan educational organization.
Sponsorship: Visit the Witches' Voice Sponsor Page for info on how you
can help support this Community Resource. Donations ARE Tax Deductible.
The Witches' Voice carries a 501(c)(3) certificate and a Federal Tax ID.
Mail Us: The Witches' Voice Inc., P.O. Box 341018, Tampa, Florida 33694-1018 U.S.A.
of The World