Old Teen Essays
NOTE: The essay on this page contains the writings and opinions of the listed author(s) and is not necessarily shared or endorsed by the Witches' Voice inc.
The Witches' Voice does not verify or attest to the historical accuracy contained in the content of this essay.
All WitchVox essays contain a valid email address, feel free to send your comments, thoughts or concerns directly to the listed author(s).
Article ID: 6617
Age Group: Adult
Posted: July 20th. 2003
Ex Pagan 4 Christ 
by Kerr Cuhulain
22 year old Keziah Thomas of London, England, is the creator of the Ex Pagan 4 Christ web site (http://www.geocities.com/expagan4christ/). She bills this as a "true story of deliverance from Paganism". In fact it is an imitation of earlier accounts of people claiming to be former Satanic cult members. Unlike many earlier stories she does not claim to be a former Satanic leader: This is likely due to the objections of people like myself who have pointed out that the large number of people clamoring for attention by making such claims could not have all been the "big boss". Of course you get more attention by claiming to have been the former leader than by making a claim that you were the former janitor. Like the people that you will soon see that she is imitating in this site, Thomas claims that Neo-Pagan religions are a "harmless façade" for a leadership level of Satanism. "I was once a witch and a pagan," Thomas claims, "and experienced the truth behind the nature-worshipping, peaceful facade to the reality of Satan's mastery over paganism."
It takes Thomas a while to get around to the topic of Pagan beliefs. In the first part of the Ex-Pagan 4 Christ site, Thomas tells us that her mother was "virulently Catholic" and her father "a very moderate Presbyterian". She tells us that her families had "rowed so much about religion that when I came along (I am an only child) they decided to keep me away from it altogether and let me learn and decide for myself when I grew up." Thomas states:
"That's a very popular solution to stop religious arguments and in our day of forced religious tolerance and everyone being too polite to acknowledge that there is only one Saviour, a common one. It is not a good model to follow though. However good their intentions were, my parents might better have trained me as a Christian, and so given me protection for the future: Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)"
This is the sort of religious indoctrination one might expect from a destructive cult: Indoctrinate the children before they are old enough to discern the truth and you'll likely have a member for life.
Thomas goes on to tell us that she had little religious instruction in school, and that she "wasn't an outstanding student". She tells us that her mother allowed her to go to a Catholic church when she was fourteen. "They didn't explain the gospel either," Thomas complains, "so I came away empty-handed (and with empty pockets too)." This, combined with Thomas's comments about her mother's "virulent" Catholicism, make it quite clear what Thomas's position is concerning the Catholic church. We've seen that this is a very common sentiment amongst Satanic Conspiracy myth supporters.
Thomas tells us that at sixteen she dropped out of school, got a job in a clothing store, and rented a small house with a group of five friends to try being independent. Thomas describes her independent lifestyle as a teen school dropout in the next section, "Sex & Drugs & Rock 'n' Roll". She tells us that she and her friends lived on "noodles and tea", hung out in bars and clubs by making themselves up to look older than they were, and began to drink "a great deal". "We thought we were having a fantastic time", Thomas tells us, "lots of sex, lots of alcohol, wild lives and irresponsibility."
Thomas tells us that six months into this adventure she meets John, an "out and out goth guy into angry, alienated music and horror stories". John introduces her to marijuana. Thomas tells us that she adopts a goth lifestyle. John introduces her to his goth friend Brian who introduces her to cocaine. From this she goes on to heroin. "Within a matter of months", Thomas tells us, "I had gone from being someone who only drank to a mainlining heroin junkie." She tells us that she began getting in trouble for stealing from her roommates to support her habit. They force Thomas to leave so she moves in with John, who is violent towards her. Thomas leaves John too after stealing his money and goes on to get "a job dancing in a club".
In the next part, "Spiritual Searching", Thomas tells us that due to her depression and drug use she went to a doctor and to on a methadone program. She went to a Catholic church again but soon gave up on it. She then tried an Anglican service but wasn't impressed with this either:
"It all seemed vague and wishy-washy, and I couldn't really see the point," Thomas complains, "Where I was looking for hard truth I found uncertainty - but as I later found out, the Bible is really very certain about things. It is only liberal queasiness at the notion of fundemental [sic], life-changing belief which makes them shy away."
Thomas tells us that at the time she "decided Christianity wasn't worth it" and went looking for something else. She decided against Judaism, ("I thought you had to be a born-Jew to join") and Islam ("I didn't like their attitude towards women") and tells us that she found Buddhism "too complex" and "foreign" and Hinduism "a bit strange". She then tells us that she came across a "'mind, body, spirit' magazine" which "had features on the tarot, astrology, hauntings and the like". This magazine "profiled a 'white witch'" who "talked about ancient celtic gods, of folklore and fairies, and about bringing peace and harmony to the world - and to yourself". Thomas says that she went on to check out information on Wicca on the internet and "found out from an occult bookshop that there was an open coven nearby which would take new members. I decided to go, but I had to wait a month before their next meeting, so I did some reading beforehand."
The following section, "First Contact", is where Thomas finally begins speaking about Wicca. She begins by giving us generic information on "eclectics", Wiccans and "reconstructionists": Later in this article you'll see that these are three categories that Thomas has created to assist the reader to rescue Pagans. Yet she frequently speaks of these three categories collectively as one religion. For example Thomas states:
"There are vast amounts of books on each type, and I found libraries and mainstream bookshops stuffed full of occult books. I even managed to find books on ceremonial magic (involving "Christian" elements, and older than the rest) in Borders bookshop! It was very easy to learn about this religion. I had to buy equipment though - an athame (black-handled knife), lots of candles, incense, a censer, a chalice, pentacle, pentagram...paganism is a very expensive religion!"
She tells us that she was attracted to Wicca's "feminist element" and that she was "quite happy to fall into their very anti-Christian stance". I don't know if the people that Thomas first had contact with were anti-Christian: Most Wiccans aren't opposed to any Christians other than those like Thomas who spread misinformation about Pagans. Thomas admits that she "paid a visit to Speaker's Corner too, and heard racists, and antagonistic preachers who yelled a lot - and their attacks on any pagan they could see". Interesting, given that attacking Pagans is exactly what Thomas is up to here.
Thomas tells us that she got a job as a telephone solicitor for an insurance firm. Thomas tells us she was still on methadone then but "felt confident that new pagan friends would be good people who would help me live a clean life away from drugs and sex. How wrong I was".
This comment serves as an introduction to the next section, "Meet the Coven". Thomas claims that she met the high priestess and priest of the coven that she was considering in May of 1999. The name of the high priestess was Morgan, a generic enough name. The name of the high priest was "Asmodeus". This put up a red flag for me since you will recall from my earlier article on Michael Warnke that Asmodeus is the name of a demon that came up in his bogus stories. Asmodeus is a Biblical figure, adopted from Zoroastrianism, who appears in the Apocrypha, and thus a rather unlikely name for a Wiccan leader to assume.
Thomas tells us that these supposed Wiccan leaders appeared to be "very successful people" and that they told her that they wanted Thomas to join to make the coven up to thirteen people. Asmodeus allegedly tells Thomas that he came from a family of several generations of Witches. Thomas makes the odd comment that "They worshipped the horned god and the earth goddess (usually represented as a naked, pregnant woman, feminism only goes so far) and that all coveners were witches (worked magic)." Why would Wiccans and/or feminists object to the image of a naked, pregnant woman? Thomas goes on to clarify the remark about witches working magic by then declaring that Asmodeus and Morgan "were not Wiccans, and so did not bind themselves into only doing 'good' spells". This appears to be an attempt to cover her tracks should someone object to the fantastic story that follows. As you will soon see these people, if they ever existed, most certainly are not Wiccan, yet this doesn't prevent Thomas from encouraging us to assume that they are. Thomas goes on to make the following remarks:
"- they talked a great deal about a balance between good and not-so-good and about the need for protection spells and counter magic to prevent others doing harm. They implied to me that they only used their magic against evil witches who tried to hurt other people. They also told me that once you take the first step into paganism, this is a lifelong step. This was pretty familiar to me from pagan books, and the notion that once you become a pagan or witch you can never leave is often used to prevent people leaving this Satanic deception. Jesus Christ has the power to break Satan's chains!"
NOTE: Note how Thomas is encouraging the reader to accept the "White vs Black Witchcraft" nonsense that we've seen earlier in this series. People leave Pagan beliefs all the time, including Thomas if her story is to be believed. People seeking a spiritual path may experiment with any number of belief systems, including Pagan systems, before settling upon one. There is nothing in the Wiccan system that permanently prohibits anyone from leaving.
"Asmodeus... explained that some people with very religious families had problems with them when they became pagan. I later found out that the coven were afraid of Bible-believing Christians, as their prayers could draw a witch out of the darkness and spoil their spells."
NOTE: Note how Thomas is using the phrase "very religious" instead of "fundamentalist Christian" here. I've never in my life met a Pagan who believed that Christians had the power to draw witches out of anywhere. Nor have I met any Pagans who believed that Christians had the ability to spoil our magick. This is a fundamentalist Christian belief, not a Pagan one.
Thomas then tells us that Asmodeus and Morgan accepted her as a "trainee" in the "Coven of the Black Star". This is another indication that something is wrong with Thomas's story: People in training to join a Wiccan coven are commonly referred to as postulants, not "trainees". Another indication is when Thomas tells us that at the first meeting of this coven she would "take an oath and be formally accepted as an initiate". Traditionally Wiccans train for a year and a day before they become initiated into a coven. Thomas states:
"... that day's circle would, as well as initiating me, commemorate the pagan 'martyrs' killed by Christians. Pagans love to feel that they are poor persecuted innocents, inheritors of the 'burning times', victims of a holocaust. They use this stance to stop many Christians opposing them and some - including myself once - treasure this image of persecuted innocence even while knowing themselves guilty of disgusting crimes."
Thomas has clearly told us that the group that she was being initiated into was not Wiccan, yet refers to the members as "witches". Note how she is now talking generally of Pagans here. Note also how Thomas is trying to minimize the horrors of the Inquisition here, as if it was simply a public relations ploy created by Pagans and not a perfect historical example of the sort of Witch hunt that Thomas is participating in here. Like so many of the people that you've read about earlier in my Witch Hunts series, Thomas accuses Pagans generally of "disgusting crimes" without giving us any specific allegations. It is obvious from what follows that the "disgusting crime" that Thomas is referring to is the "crime" of not being Christian.
The third indication that this "Coven of the Black Star" is not a Pagan group is when Thomas tells us:
"Asmodeus explained that as I came from a Christian background I would have to recite the Lord's Prayer backwards to sever myself from the negative influences. I thought this was a bit weird but I wasn't a Christian and so agreed. They also explained that as they were traditional pagans, they held their circles 'skyclad' or naked."
Wiccan founder Gerald Gardner started the practice of skyclad worship in his Gardnerian tradition of Wicca. Skyclad is a Wiccan term referring to ritual nudity (i.e.: clad only by the sky). Gardner, a practicing nudist, probably borrowed the idea from Leland's book Aradia. He may also have been influenced by European woodcuts, drawings and prints of "Witches" from the Inquisitional period. The Inquisitors generally depicted "Witches" as naked in their rites. Not all traditions of Wicca practice skyclad worship. Thus the aforementioned description of Thomas's initiation ritual is consistent with Inquisitional myths and the Black Mass, not Pagan spirituality. Wiccan's don't recite Christian scripture or prayers (forwards or backwards).
Thomas goes on to describe a skyclad initiation that starts off with her being blindfolded and challenged at the entrance to the circle with a "levelled dagger" and later bound and "whipped". These are elements borrowed from Gardnerian ritual, which was in turn influenced by Masonic initiations. It would not have been difficult for Thomas to come up with this as there are countless books describing this first degree ritual. Remember, Thomas said that she did a lot of reading. Note that Thomas only says that she was whipped, which would lead the uniformed to assume that the instrument used was a whip or lash. In Gardnerian practice they use a silk cord for this purpose. It is a symbolic gesture not intended to cause pain or injury.
Thomas tells us that she took the initiated name "Greymalkin" and "received the infamous, perverse kiss of blessing. This involved Morgan kissing my feet, knees, groin, breasts and lips in a disgusting perversion of the holy kiss that Christians give - Satan loves to imitate Christianity. I was consecrated to the craft with oil, wine, water, fire and kisses. My own blood was taken from me by a pinprick in my thumb, and collected in a ceremonial cup. My blindfold was removed so I could greet (with a kiss) the other members of the coven and be welcomed in the name of Cernunnos and Aradia. Meanwhile the cup was filled with wine, blessed, and all drank of it to signify my membership of the circle."
Again, Thomas is obviously using the Gardnerian initiation as the model for her account. The problem with Thomas's story is that being a female, Thomas should have been initiated, and would have received the five-fold kiss that she describes, from the high priest, not the priestess. Note how Thomas has finally brought Satan into her discussion here. Another anomaly is her claim that the blood from her pricked finger was collected in a cup. Ordinarily in British traditions the postulant's finger is pricked and a drop or two of blood is collected on a piece of cotton.
Thomas goes on to describe some of the training she allegedly received in general terms. She refers to her beliefs as "paganism" despite having clearly stated earlier that this was not a Wiccan coven. It is at this point that Thomas's story starts sounding very much like Warnke's:
"After several months in the coven I realised that there were some other circles I was not invited to. I was told that these were for higher initiates and I would get to go to them in time. I was being slowly prepared to join the darker side of paganism, but they wanted to be sure of me first. They knew that simply taking part in the 'benign' paganism rots the soul, preparing it for service with Satan, and were waiting until I was at a stage where I could be encouraged to do evil. That time came fast."
This is a variation on that claim that Warnke first made that Wicca is a front organization for Satanists who you only find at higher levels. Of course there are three higher levels of initiation in your typical Wiccan coven beyond the postulant level. Most elders won't permit you to pass on to higher levels until you've proven yourself ready. This has nothing to do with hidden "third degree mysteries". It has to do with mastering basic skills before advancing to more advanced work. All of what happens in the third degree initiation is in print in many Wiccan books. None of these levels of initiation involve dedication to the Devil. Satan isn't recognized at all by Wiccans.
This leads Thomas into another section, "Descent into Darkness". She begins this section by stating:
"So far, I had been initiated into the benign side of paganism, performing spells only to help others, worshipping gods of nature and peace. I thought all this was wonderful, and didn't even notice the corruption I had entered into. Satan appears as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14) but he corrupts us just as surely in that guise as when we see him in all his evil. Even though I thought I was a good person my morals were disintegrating as I got further into paganism. It started with little things - not giving back the money when given too much change in shops, drinking heavily, that sort of thing. It progressed until I ended up back on heroin and stealing money to pay for it. My pagan mentors knew of this, and once I got to that state they decided I was ready to move up to the next level. The teaching they were giving me started to get darker, gradually focussing more and more on the darker side of the "balance". They talked about the necessity of evil, the use of sex in rituals, and how to cast counter-spells. I was delighted when a spell I had cast to cause a suspected paedophile to get a very painful groin disease worked. I was getting further and further into evil."
Of course Thomas was, by her own admission, stealing, boozing and mainlining heroin before she ever met anyone claiming to be Pagans, so it is difficult to see how she expects us to believe that her "Pagan" friends were responsible for her behavior. Note how Thomas, like so many others that I've written about in this series, claims that these behaviors made her eligible to advance to a higher level in this "coven" of hers. Such behavior would certainly get you noticed in a typical Wiccan coven: The leaders would insist that you get treatment and if this sort of behavior persisted you'd probably be shown the door. No one in Wicca teaches that evil is necessary. All of the activities described by Thomas are clear violations of the Wiccan Rede. Curious that Thomas should use her example of the magickal attack on the paedophile, though I'm still trying to decide what she meant this to be an example of. Is attacking a paedophile with spells supposed to be an example of the "necessity of evil"? Or is she suggesting that she was casting a counter-spell against a paedophile magician?
Thomas then tells us that her drug use, alcoholism and theft qualified her for the second degree which she entered by witnessing the Great Rite. Again, this seems to be an attempt to incorporate elements of British Traditional Wicca on the part of either Thomas or the "coven" that she belonged. She reports that:
"At the end of the initiation, everyone 'grounded themselves' (released their energy) by having sex with one another. Such a disgusting perversion as this I hope you never have to witness - men went with men, women with women, no one was married and we had a mass orgy while 'worshipping' the gods. We were told that the gods liked this form of worship, and did not mind if it was homosexual, heterosexual, bestial or even incestual! We were told the tale of Diana's coupling with her brother, Lucifer (at the time the mention of Lucifer set off no alarm bells, as they had told me the Christians had perverted this god into the devil). While any normal person would have been horrified by the Great Rite, I had become so corrupt that I thought it a beautiful way to worship the goddess and her consort. The way that I willingly joined in secured my new place in the coven - I later found out that if I had refused to participate in the orgy, they would have killed me, as no one could be allowed to testify to that coven's evil."
In Brit Trad covens the Great Rite is ritual sex performed between the High Priestess and the High Priest. It is not an orgy involving the entire coven and it often does not involve actual sex at all. When it does the coven members typically retire to give the priestess and priest privacy. Most Pagans and Ceremonial Magicians consider sexual intercourse to be a way of raising energy, not grounding it. Wicca and other Neo-Pagan religions are accepting of homosexuality, but no Wiccan or Pagan group that I've ever encountered requires it's members to engage in bestiality or incest. Note how Thomas has introduced the story of Diana and Lucifer that one finds in the first chapter of Leland's book Aradia and in Alex Sander's book The Alex Sanders Lectures. Thomas brings this up again a few paragraphs later when she states: "They told us that the god they called Cernunnos was really called Lucifer and his consort was Diana, his sister and lover." This is another idea that she appears to have borrowed from either Warnke or Schnoebelen: We saw both of these individuals using this approach in earlier articles in the Witch Hunts series. Thomas doesn't tell us who told her that she would have been killed if she had refused: I suspect that it was the evangelical Christians who "saved" her.
Thomas then claims that the Coven of the Black Star introduced her to "the use of drugs in worship - which they had steadfastly refused any knowledge of when I first joined". This is, of course, the same person who was an admitted addict before she ever met this coven. Thomas makes further fantastic claims such as:
"They also told me that Baal and Astarte were other names of those gods, and let me know how much my faith was opposed to Christianity."
NOTE: Astarte was a Caananite version of the Goddess Ishtar, a fertility Goddess. Baal was originally a Phoenician vegetation and storm God whose name translates as "lord", Baal is mentioned many times in the Old Testament. Baal came up in the works of Michael Warnke and has appeared in the works of many other anti-Pagans since. Astarte came up in Eric Holmberg's anti-Pagan films.
"They told me that Christianity was a perversion of paganism created out of jealousy at the power of pagan gods and because some men decided they could not abide priestesses - a complete perversion of the real truth created by the father of lies himself!"
NOTE: Thomas doesn't tell us where she or her alleged friends got this piece of "historical" information. It wasn't created by the Devil: It was created by people that want to scare you into their churches using the Devil as their bogey man. Obviously Christianity, like any other religion (including Wicca), has borrowed many elements from earlier beliefs. That Christianity remains primarily a patriarchal religion is also true.
"I started to cast spells on others, at first 'for their own good' and later just because I wanted to. I created unhappy marriages by casting love spells, aborted babies for others, caused illness, death and poverty. I became intoxicated with my own power, dedicated to Lucifer and his consort. I wanted more, my spells didn't always work, and I wanted more power over others."
NOTE: This is a direct violation of the primary principle of Wicca, the Wiccan Rede: Do what you will as long as it does not harm another (emphasis mine). Of course Thomas told you earlier that this "coven" of hers isn't Wiccan, but by incorporating so many elements from British Traditional Wicca into her story she certainly seems to be trying to draw the reader into inferring that there is no difference.
"Satan "blessed" me with money, huge energy and power so that I became totally wedded to his service. I wanted to know my god better, and prayed, worshipped and cast spells for him constantly."
NOTE: Sound familiar? All of the previous alleged "former Satanic leaders" told similar tales of unlimited wealth and power. Thomas, like all of these previous "former Satanists", doesn't give us any evidence to prove this.
"I taunted Christians I met - I thought their God was weak and impotent. I made a friend - Stargrove - in the coven, and together we set churches on fire by magic, caused illness and once performed a ceremony to Lucifer in a Christian church! We couldn't attack certain churches - Bible-believing ones - but we rationalised that by saying that we didn't want to rather than because God was protecting them."
NOTE: Of course Thomas doesn't ever identify any of the churches that were the targets of her supposed magickal arsons, which you'd think that she'd want to if she wanted to prove her story was true. You'll recall the other person who claims to have committed arson: Michael Warnke in his book Satan Seller. Have you noticed that, like Warnke, so far Thomas has provided nothing in the way of evidence other than her "testimony"?
(Continued... Click HERE for page II)
| ABOUT... |
Location: Surrey, British Columbia
Bio: Kerr Cuhulain the author of this article, is known to the mundane world as Detective Constable Charles Ennis. Ennis, a former child abuse investigator, is the author of several articles on child abuse investigation that appeared in Law & Order Magazine. Better known to the Pagan community by his Wiccan name, Kerr Cuhulain, Ennis was the first Wiccan police officer to go public about his beliefs 28 years ago. Kerr is now the Preceptor General of Officers of Avalon. Kerr went on to write four books: The Law Enforcement Guide to Wicca (Horned Owl Publishing), Wiccan Warrior and Full Contact Magick: A Book of Shadows for the Wiccan Warrior. (Llewellyn Publications), as well as a book based on this series: Witch Hunts: Out of the Broom Closet (Spiral Publishing).
Email Kerr: email@example.com
Other Articles: Kerr Cuhulain has posted 182 additional articles- View them?
Other Listings: To view ALL of my listings: Click HERE
Email Me... (Yes! I have opted to receive invites to Pagan events, groups, and commercial sales)
Web Site Content (including: text - graphics - html - look & feel)
Copyright 1997-2013 The Witches' Voice Inc. All rights reserved
Note: Authors & Artists retain the copyright for their work(s) on this website.
Unauthorized reproduction without prior permission is a violation of copyright laws.
Website structure, evolution and php coding by Fritz Jung on a Macintosh G5.
Any and all personal political opinions expressed in the public listing sections (including, but not restricted to, personals, events, groups, shops, Wren’s Nest, etc.) are solely those of the author(s) and do not reflect the opinion of The Witches’ Voice, Inc. TWV is a nonprofit, nonpartisan educational organization.
Sponsorship: Visit the Witches' Voice Sponsor Page for info on how you
can help support this Community Resource. Donations ARE Tax Deductible.
The Witches' Voice carries a 501(c)(3) certificate and a Federal Tax ID.
Mail Us: The Witches' Voice Inc., P.O. Box 341018, Tampa, Florida 33694-1018 U.S.A.
of The World