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Article ID: 6355
Age Group: Adult
Posted: June 15th. 2003
Series 08 - Eight of Endings...
"There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.. " *
Even before I was fully awake, I felt that it was gone. Carefully -- so as not to disturb Ruby who was still fast asleep -- I reached under my pillow and gingerly searched for it. As my fingers closed around the little gemstone, I opened my eyes to a new phase of my life. I don't know what that is exactly. Not yet. But an omen is an omen. Something has changed.
I have worn the gold pentacle with the sapphire stone since Laurie gave it to me in 1996. On the few occasions when I did remove it in order to properly clean it, I always felt vaguely anxious until it was once again securely fastened about my neck. More than a talisman of protection or a symbol of belief, to me it was a reminder of the oaths I had taken. As the blue nugget flashed in the morning light, memories flickered through my brain. And I knew it was time to move on.
But to what? When I mentioned this obviously monumental moment to Fritz, he just said, "Well, that means something." He is so darn helpful sometimes. I put the stone and the pentacle in my jewelry box and waited for the sense of loss to kick in. It never did. Okay, that does mean something. Time to hit up the ghost of Unckie Carl for some advice...
As a student of Jungian philosophy, I instinctively check in at the Office of Synchronicity whenever something like this occurs. And as a fourth generation replanted Scottish Celt, I always figure that I will find that pattern repeated in threes.
Strangely, I felt rather calm about the whole thing. I stopped wearing gold altogether and switched to silver. It felt right. But where is the pattern, my Capricorn sense of order still wanted to know.
Yesterday, as I lit the weekly candle on our family altar, I figured it out. The stone in my pentacle liberated itself five days after Dixie's passing and five months (to the day) after I had experienced what proved to be my last menstrual period. (Welcome to the crone years, Wren!) Okay then. Those two things were pretty obvious. (Insert 'Twilight Zone' music here: My menopause moment occurred on my 52nd birthday and that was January 5th. 5 and 52 are 'points' on the five-pointed star.) And what was the third 'five'? The pentacle itself, of course.
Five -- the symbolic number of Mars and Aries (And of active sexuality) -- marked a phase of my life wherein these elements of personality figured predominantly in the Work that the Old Ones sent my way. Having been in Their service for these forty odd years, it matters little to my ego whether I am now about to be promoted or demoted. Their choice. Something will come along -- as it always does -- that will point me in a new direction.
And that, to me, is one of the best aspects of being Pagan. Endings are always meshed with beginnings in Pagan philosophy. It is a very healthy -- and healing -- system.
So as we approach the ending of one season and the beginning of another at the Solstice, I thought that I would wrap up some previous stories featured here. If you have already read the stories, you may have wondered how some of these turned out. If you haven't read the stories and wish to, simply click on the highlighted titles. If you have no idea how you ended up here, you may be puzzled. If you don't want to read the stories or care how they turned out, simply scan past them and have a nice day. Here are Eight Endings to Eight Stories:
It was interesting to go back and read many of these stories again. Some of them indeed have an actual ending. Most of them are on-going and a few of those may be just the beginning of something else. While we often experience those events that we label as 'turning points', there are many others that slip from ending to beginning or from beginning to end without much notice. That is why it is nice to sometimes just stop and get your bearings. Or check your jewelry...
- Cleaning Out The Junk Drawer: The changing of the seasons is a good time to reevaluate. I highly recommend it. It opens up a space for something new. My own 'junk drawer' has been quite recently rummaged. This week's essay is proof of that and may be the follow-up to this article.
- The Heart of a Mechanic: The next time that I took the Witchmobile in for service, I summoned up the courage to tell Mike that he was featured on the front page of TWV. I didn't summon up enough courage to stay while he read the article though. But on the next next time that the Witchmobile went to visit its favorite mechanic, Mike had this to say: "No one has ever done anything like that for me before. No one has ever seen me as 'special' like that." I replied: "And that's a shame. A lot of really nice people never get the thanks and recognition that they deserve. And that is one of the perks that I get in writing in this column. I actually do have the opportunity to say nice things about nice people." But you don't need a regular column to do this. Tell the nice people in your life and the nice people that you meet that they are special. And if this sort of thing catches on, I trust that someone will also say the same to you. You are special.
- In A Mirror Darkly: This dynamic is still playing out on the Andromeda set and increasingly in our society today. How the 'series' will end remains to be seen. And by the way, Hercules: Season 1, comes out on DVD June 24th.
- You Just Can't Keep a Good Monster Down: As I was reading the articles on Common Dreams, I spied this. Yes, this is my old friend, Sid Hall. We had lost touch over the years and I was so excited to find contact info for him. Of course, I emailed him right away and we got caught up a bit. His reaction upon discovering that his old high school chum was the co-founder of The Witches' Voice? "I always knew that you were a Witch." One of the many, many reasons why Sid always has been --- and always will be -- my friend. And while Godzilla still rules, Viggo hasn't called yet.
- Three Nouns and a Verb: Did I mention that Viggo hasn't called yet?
- Cramming It Down our Throats: Ruby is now fully recovered and weighs a very chubby twelve pounds. Never doubt that miracles do happen. One is snoozing on our ottoman right now.
- Nature's Heart: The one-legged duck never returned to the Little Pond. Her children and grandchildren however still enjoy the hearty breakfast of cracked corn that I put out for them each morning.
- A Letter to My Daughter: Skye is in remission and doing well. She is still beautiful. She remains strong and optimistic about the future. She will always be my little girl. I love you, daughter.
The pentacle is not really broken. One prong became loose and the stone slipped out. It is a simple matter of just plopping the stone back in and folding the prong back over it. I could do that and have it back on in about three minutes. But I won't. I won't ever wear it again. That's okay. Something else will come along.
And I don't know what I'll do with it yet. The pentacle will probably go to whoever is supposed to have it. I don't know who that might be right now. That's okay. Someone will come along.
One thing ends as another begins. The seasons change and so do we.
And so on this Solstice, I wish you joy in all of your beginnings and peace in all of your endings...
And I'll let you know when Viggo calls...
Co-Founder - The Witches' Voice
Monday, June 16th., 2003
* Louis L'Amour (American Author; 1908-1988)
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