Your browser does not support script
TWV Presents...

Articles/Essays From Pagans

[Show all]

Views: 21,823,225

February 1st. 2019 ...

Paganism and Witchcraft in the Media

September 25th. 2018 ...

Understanding the Unseen

August 25th. 2018 ...

A Little Magickal History

Men and the Goddess

Back to Basics Witchcraft: Magical Creativity for Small Living Spaces

Kitchen Magic and Memories

Why the Faeries?

Magic in Daily Life

An Open Fire: Healing from Within

Cernunnos: The Darkest Wood in the Moon's Light

On Preconceived Pagan/Wiccan Political Affiliations

Gudrun of the Victory Gods

Ares and Athena

La Santa Muerte... The Stigma and the Strength

The Wheel of the Year in Our Daily Lives

The Lady on the Stairs

July 26th. 2018 ...

The Importance of Unification: Bringing Together Community Members to Invoke Cohesivity

May 29th. 2018 ...

Wild Mountain Woman: Landscape Goddess

April 20th. 2018 ...

Nazis Made Us Change Our Name

January 25th. 2018 ...

Finding Balance: Discipline Wedded to Devotion

November 15th. 2017 ...


September 30th. 2017 ...


August 31st. 2017 ...

The White Goddess: A Seminal Work in the Neo-Wiccan Movement.

July 31st. 2017 ...

Sin Eaters and Dream Walkers

July 2nd. 2017 ...

On Cursing: Politics and Ethos

A Distant Thunder: Should You Care?

June 1st. 2017 ...

Herbal Astrology

The Sacred Ego in Mediterranean Magical Traditions

April 30th. 2017 ...

Tarot Talk: the Knight of Pentacles

March 30th. 2017 ...

Tarot Talk: the Ace of Swords

January 10th. 2017 ...

The Gray of 'Tween

Becoming a Sacred Dancer

Little Dog, Big Love

December 9th. 2016 ...

A Child's First Yule

November 10th. 2016 ...

A Witch in the Bible Belt: Questions are Opportunities

What Exactly Is Witchcraft?

What I Get from Cooking (And How it’s Part of My Path)

On Death and Passing: Compassion Burnout in Healers and Shamans

September 11th. 2016 ...

The Shadow of Disgust

September 3rd. 2016 ...

Nature’s Reward

August 12th. 2016 ...

Hungarian Belief in Fairies

When Reality Rattles your Idea of the Perfect Witch

Designing a Pagan Last Will and Testament

Past Midnight

July 13th. 2016 ...

What Every Pagan Should Know About Curses

Magic With A Flick of my Finger

An Open Mind and Heart

Finding and Caring for Your Frame Drum

June 13th. 2016 ...

Living a Magickal Life with Fibromyalgia

My Father, My First God

Life is Awesome... and the Flu

May 15th. 2016 ...

Faery Guided Journey

Working with the Elements

Magical Household Cleaning

April 2nd. 2016 ...

The Fear of Witchcraft

Magic in Sentences

March 28th. 2016 ...

Revisiting The Spiral

Still Practicing

Spring Has Sprung!

January 22nd. 2016 ...

Coming Out of the Broom Closet

Community and Perception

December 20th. 2015 ...

Magia y Wicca

October 24th. 2015 ...

Feeling the Pulse of Autumn

October 16th. 2015 ...

Sacred Lands, Sacred Hearts

September 30th. 2015 ...

The Other-Side

September 16th. 2015 ...

Vegan or Vegetarian? The Ethical Debate

August 6th. 2015 ...

Lost - A Pagan Parent's Tale

July 9th. 2015 ...

Love Spells: The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

The Magic of Weather

June 7th. 2015 ...

A Pagan Altar

A Minority of a Minority of a Minority

The Consort: Silent Partner or Hidden in Plain Sight?

May 6th. 2015 ...

13 Keys: The Crown of Kether

March 29th. 2015 ...

A Thread in the Tapestry of Witchcraft

March 28th. 2015 ...

On Wiccan Magick, Theurgy, Thaumaturgy and Setting Expectations

March 1st. 2015 ...

Choosing to Write a Shadow Book

February 1st. 2015 ...

Seeker Advice From a Coven Leader

January 1st. 2015 ...

Manipulation of the Concept of Witchcraft

Pagans All Around Us

Broomstick to the Emerald City

NOTE: For a complete list of articles related to this chapter... Visit the Main Index FOR this section.

Article Specs

Article ID: 15837

VoxAcct: 405043

Section: words

Age Group: Adult

Days Up: 1,250

Times Read: 2,729

RSS Views: 29,304
Life is Awesome... and the Flu

Author: The Redneck Pagan
Posted: June 13th. 2016
Times Viewed: 2,729

Life is pretty awesome.. the world is pretty awesome.. and the universe is pretty awesome… don’t believe me? Ok. Count your fingers and your toes. Now feel the bones, the ligaments in them. Think about the little nerve endings that connect your spinal cord into your brain… that’s awesome. Google “How Lungs Work” (Do it; seriously, it’s cool) .

Think about the fact that this little marble that we are sitting on is in just the right place between space and our sun to be able to support life without frying or freezing it non-stop… that’s pretty awesome. Tonight go outside look up at the sky (fingers crossed that it’s a clear night and you will be able to get a glimpse at the stars) . Now think about the stars, that the light from many of those stars are older than our solar system… and that many of those lights are from stars that are gone, and probably have been gone longer than our planet existed. That is pretty damn awesome, isn’t it!

Life is awesome… ‘til you get the flu.

When you get the flu everything sucks! The world is too hot, too cold, too noisy and too quiet all at once. You get really messed up dreams and begin to seriously consider buying stock in ginger ale. You don’t eat for days on end and wake up three days later wondering why the heck you could eat a whole cow all of a sudden. Then there is the coughing, the blowing of the nose, the aches and pains racking the body and the water bill that will inevitably skyrocket from the three baths a day you are taking.

Then your husband gets sick too….

Now there are two of you lying in bed, alternating between too hot, too cold, too noisy and too quiet… and never at the same time. You begin to kick yourself for still not ordering stock in ginger ale. You begin to think that together you are single handedly causing the deforestation of the world from the amount of times you blow your nose. You have an argument over who is using too much of the precious cough syrup because neither of you want to drive the 20 minutes into town to hit up the pharmacy for more. The argument ends with both of you gasping together, clinging to the edge of the bed for dear life because sitting upright for that long is making you dizzy.

You throw the covers off because it feels like you are sunbathing on Venus just as he wildly scrambles to grab the covers because he is having a starbath on Pluto. The cats find you boring and cause one hell of a ruckus because you keep sleeping through their supper… until you look at the food dish and realize the little buggers have tricked you into feeding them three times that night.

The dogs keep trying to get you to play and then look at you all perplexed when you walk into a wall while trying to find the door (of the house you have lived in for three years) . You forget to feed them but that’s ok because the half eaten package of crackers on your dresser is delicious and they found the trash bag you left in the sink (because you put it down and forgot it existed until a border collie brings some egg shells to bed to munch on) . They are also ecstatic because you are at home, in bed, rubbing their bellies on a THURSDAY (it might as well be Christmas for them) .

You alternate between getting up in the morning thinking, “Ok, I can do this. I can get to work” to falling back into the bed thinking, “Dear Gods they are going to find me in this bed half dressed with my shirt on backwards and a floor I haven’t vacuumed all week!!!” You start writing your will and then decide to stop when you realize that you are leaving your complete works of William Shakespeare to the dog and are leaving the dog to Good Queen Bess. You cough so hard that you throw your neck out (OMGs, am I really getting that old?) . Then you sleep some more and wake up realizing that you actually can see straight and are able to walk in a straight line (“GODS BE PRAISED… I’M GOING TO LIVE!!!!”)

After coming through to the other side and living through the 2-week flu, I thought I would share my words of wisdom with the rest of the world (or the handful of lovely people who stop by for a read) . First of all, I strongly recommend before you even get sick that you have a supply of cold tabs, ginger ale, chicken soup and crackers handy. Seriously, because having to go shopping when you are sick not only will spread your nastiness with the world, but also royally sucks. That and fantasizing about stuffing coupons up some random strangers nose while in the checkout line might be seen as somewhat dysfunctional. Also look up stocks in ginger ale just before cold and flu season…

Accept the way that you and your spouse are while you are sick. My husband is not a people person when he is sick. He wants nothing more than to be left alone to sleep it off in peace. No matter how much I want to fuss over him and take care of him, I can’t (it only makes him want to drown me in soup) . I have to respect his needs for his own healing.

I, on the other hand, am the biggest baby you will ever meet. I am very pathetic and want my soup, a hot bath, ginger ale, blankie and a back rub all at once. I also tend to ask a lot if I can die now and look/sound generally pathetic. When both of you are sick, be patient with each other as you each work your way to health.

Set alarms in your phone. No really, do it, especially if you have pets. I had to set alarms for feeding time for the cats otherwise I would wake up to them yowling like they were being eaten by a coyote, which does not improve one’s mood. In their defense, they are both rescues and it took a lot of work for them not to be so panicky around when they would be fed. Also make sure to feed the dog when you feed the cat; garbage breath is not cool. And for goodness sake, let them cuddle and love you. They are not stupid and know that you are not feeling well. They cannot make you better so they will do the only thing they can think of and smother you with their love.

Be careful what you watch and listen to. While I was sick I watched “The Hunt for Red October” on Netflix (good movie) . I then watched “The Rock” based on the Netflix suggestion (not a bad movie) . After that movie I was sleepy so I pressed play on my CD player, took some nighttime cold tabs and listened to the CD as I drifted to sleep… which turned out to be a mistake. The CD was a guided meditation for Chakra Cleansing (which I thought might help me kick the flu sooner) . So for the next ten hours, I dreamt of being on a submarine (and sometimes building a submarine) , while looking for rockets that were loaded with Chakra orbs… by the end of the night I was really sick of god damned submarines!!! After that, I stuck to kids’ movies (The Shrek series in particular. Oh and go watch the fourth Shrek movie; I loved it!)

And finally don’t overdo it. After four or five days, I felt pretty good. I had some energy, could stop coughing for a few hours at a time and I could breathe! The sun was shining here in central Alberta and the snow on my deck was soft enough that I could actually shovel it all off. So taking advantage of the day, I cleaned up the doggie deposits from the yard and shoveled the deck. While the deck looked great… I was exhausted and woke up feeling worse. I also tried to go back to work too soon; ever sorted through what you did at work while you were sick and wonder, “Now why the hell did I do that?” Yeah, that was me reviewing my work during the first week of coming back from being sick. And sadly, I have sick time banked, like over 300 hours of sick time. If you have the sick time, use it and stay sane! That week was the worst and probably delayed my recovery.

So take my advice: get your rest, take good care of yourself (consider seeing a doctor if symptoms persist) and in no time you will be back to looking up at the stars, while drinking your hot chocolate and feeling your lungs fill with air going, “Life is pretty awesome!”


The Redneck Pagan

Location: Alberta, Alberta

Author's Profile: To learn more about The Redneck Pagan - Click HERE

Other Articles: The Redneck Pagan has posted 27 additional articles- View them?

Other Listings: To view ALL of my listings: Click HERE

Email The Redneck Pagan... (No, I have NOT opted to receive Pagan Invites! Please do NOT send me anonymous invites to groups, sales and events.)

To send a private message to The Redneck Pagan ...

Pagan Essays

Pagan Web
8,000 Links

Pagan Groups
Local Covens etc.

80,000 Profiles

Home - TWV Logos - Email US - Privacy
News and Information

Chapters: Pagan/Heathen Basics - Pagan BOOKS - Traditions, Paths & Religions - Popular Pagan Holidays - TV & Movies - Cats of the Craft - Festival Reviews - Festival Tips - White Pages (Resources) - Issues/Concerns - West Memphis 3 - Witch Hunts - Pagan Protection Tips - Healing Planet Earth

Your Voices: Adult Essays - Young Pagan Essays - Pagan Perspectives (On Hold) - WitchWars: Fire in the Craft - Gay Pagan - Pagan Parenting - Military - Pagan Passages

Pagan Music: Pagan Musicians - Bardic Circle at WitchVox - Free Music from TWV

Vox Central: About TWV - Wren: Words, Wrants and Wramblings - Guest Rants - Past Surveys - A Quest for Unity

Weekly Updates: Click HERE for an index of our weekly updates for the past 6 years

W.O.T.W. - World-Wide Networking

Your Town: A Link to YOUR Area Page (The largest listing of Witches, Pagans, Heathens and Wiccans on the Planet)

VoxLinks: The Pagan Web: 8,000 Listings

Your Witchvox Account: Log in Now - Create New Account - Request New Password - Log in Problems

Personal Listings: Pagan Clergy in Your Town - Adult Pagans - Young Pagans - Military Pagans

Events: Circles, Gatherings, Workshops & Festivals

Covens/Groups/Orgs: Local Groups Main Page

Other LOCAL Resources: Local Shops - Regional Sites - Local Notices - Global/National Notices - Local Skills & Services - Local Egroups - Political Freedom Fighters

Pagan Shopping: Online Shops Index - Original Crafters Sites - Auction Sites - Pagan Wholesalers - Pagan Local Shops

Web Site Content (including: text - graphics - html - look & feel)
Copyright 1997-2019 The Witches' Voice Inc. All rights reserved
Note: Authors & Artists retain the copyright for their work(s) on this website.
Unauthorized reproduction without prior permission is a violation of copyright laws.

Website structure, evolution and php coding by Fritz Jung on a Macintosh.

Any and all personal political opinions expressed in the public listing sections
(including, but not restricted to, personals, events, groups, shops, Wren’s Nest, etc.)
are solely those of the author(s) and do not reflect the opinion of The Witches’ Voice, Inc.
TWV is a nonprofit, nonpartisan educational organization.

The Witches' Voice carries a 501(c)(3) certificate and a Federal Tax ID.

Mail Us: The Witches' Voice Inc., P.O. Box 341018, Tampa, Florida 33694-1018 U.S.A.
Witches, Pagans
of The World

Search Articles

 Current Topic
 Editorial Guide

NOTE: The essay on this page contains the writings and opinions of the listed author(s) and is not necessarily shared or endorsed by the Witches' Voice inc.

The Witches' Voice does not verify or attest to the historical accuracy contained in the content of this essay.

All WitchVox essays contain a valid email address, feel free to send your comments, thoughts or concerns directly to the listed author(s).