Witchvox Article

Author: Nathalie
Posted: November 15th. 2009
Times Viewed: 2,078

With Yule and the holiday season fast approaching, while thinking of my loved ones and friends I got to thinking about one friend who I haven't had contact with in a few years. Thinking about this girl, (Who I won't name, for various reasons.) stirred up a lot of memories, both good and bad. I'm writing this essay to share with my fellow pagans, as my experience of religious intolerance is painful, and to see if any other people had a similar experience to this. This is my story...

I was sixteen years old and in Secondary school, when I first met my friend. She was seventeen at the time. I had recently taken up studying Japanese at home, and I wanted to make contact with a Japanese person, for friendship and for help in Japanese. The plan was to do this in exchange for help in English, if they wanted it. A couple of weeks after registering with a pen pal service online, I received the first of many letters from my friend, who was from near Kyoto, Japan.

She seemed a pleasant girl who I could get on with, so I replied back. We became close very quickly. We learned that we had a lot in common, like music and books, and I soon looked forward to her letters. Despite the huge geographical distance between us I considered her to be one of my best friends. I felt I could tell her anything, and that she wouldn't judge me. I shared my secrets with her, as she did with me. She was there for me at a low time in my life when no one else was.

The subject of religion was never really mentioned. We asked each other what religion we followed once. At the time I was Catholic. (But very much doubtful of it.) I hadn't begun my Wiccan path at that time. Several happy years passed, and in 2000, after finishing Secondary school, my friend travelled here to Ireland to visit my family and me.

We had a brilliant two weeks having fun. I was planning to visit her in Japan the year after. I felt that this further cemented our friendship. I began college shortly after. It was then that I began researching Wicca. The more I read, the more I liked the idea.

I was happy that I had finally found a belief system that made sense to me. I didn't tell anyone about my extra curricular activities, because I was new to Wicca, and I wanted to be comfortable with it myself first. Plus I was a little afraid of other people's reactions to it. In time, I began putting my new beliefs into action.

I was very much in the broom closet for a while in the beginning. It was hard, but as time went on I felt like I wanted to share my new beliefs with some of my loved ones. I cautiously put one foot out of the broom closet and tested the waters.

My friend was the first person I told about Wicca. I was close to her, and I really felt that she, if anyone, would be ok with my choice of spirituality. She was a Buddhist, and a reasonable person. So, I wrote to her, explaining my choice.

Soon after, I got a letter from her saying she was "shocked and surprised", but it didn't seem as if she had a problem with it. After that, her letters became shorter, less friendly, and she wasn't writing as often as usual. At first, I put it down to being in college, and working at weekends, as I was in the same boat as her, and knew it wasn't always easy to find the time to write as quickly as usual.

Eventually, she stopped writing altogether. I grew concerned, and I wrote to her to make sure she was kowtow weeks later, I got a very short e-mail saying she was ok, and not much else. Six months passed without another word from her. I wrote another letter, and this time I wondered if it was because I was Wicca, and I asked her hoping I could resolve the matter.

One month later, I got a letter. In it she said that my being Wiccan wasn't a problem. I felt relieved, and scolded myself for being silly. I replied and waited, and waited, and waited. I never heard from her again.

That was almost four years ago now. At first I was angry with myself, thinking maybe I shouldn't have told her. Or maybe I could have done something differently. Then I thought maybe I said something to offend her. I was hurt; it felt like after all we'd been through, our friendship meant nothing to her. I tried e-mailing her a couple of times to try and find out what was going on, but I got no replies to those either.

Now, I've given up hope.

I still think about her sometimes. Especially at this time of year, when family and friends are at the front of everyone's minds. I'll see a good book, or see something interesting Japanese or about Japan, and I'll say "Oh, I must tell her about it." Then I remember that she doesn't want to talk to me.

It's hard, knowing that one of my best friends couldn't deal with me being Wiccan.

I tried to explain, but she didn't want to know. Until I told her about my beliefs, we were writing regularly. I got no indication that she was bored writing to me, or anything else.

Who knows? Maybe one day I'll hear from her again. I can only hope. It's sad to think that a great friendship was ruined by something as silly and trivial as religious intolerance.

No good can come from it.

Blessed be!

ABOUT...

Nathalie

Location: Wexford town, Ireland

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