Articles/Essays From Pagans
March 2nd. 2014 ...
Lessons of Ostara: Six Ways to Move Forward
The Wiccan Priest - The Misunderstood Role
Which is Which? Am I a Warlock or a Witch?
The Secret Teaching: Selected Aspects
February 23rd. 2014 ...
Wicca or Traditional Witchcraft: Some Differences
Everything is Not Under Your Control: Making Sense of the Senseless
The Wonders and Gifts of Paganism and Community
What Makes Us What We Are
February 16th. 2014 ...
Death, Grief, and Psychopomp Work in Shamanic Healing
The Stones of Fear: Anxiety Relief
Spiritual Traveler: Form To Essence
Alternative Medicine – What Is It?
February 9th. 2014 ...
Words of Power!
The Allure of Glamour in the Apocolypse
Lunar Insight Planetary Preponderances: Year of the Horse, Imbolc and Mercury Grazings
February 2nd. 2014 ...
The Magick of Jewelry and Metals
Building a Magick Mirror
The Golden Bough: a Study Guide (Part 2)
January 26th. 2014 ...
Love of Self: The Hardest Thing To Do
The Golden Bough as a Seminal Work in the Neo Pagan Movement (Part 1)
13 Keys: The Mercy of Chesed
Lightworking In The Screen Age: Staying Connected
January 19th. 2014 ...
Open Letter to the Goddess
A Southern Girl's Guide to Hospitality
Social Conventions and the Pagan World
January 12th. 2014 ...
Never Once Was There a An Athame Near My Chalice: My Very Sheltered Occultist Upbringing
One Wiccan's Journey Through Depression
January 5th. 2014 ...
Religion vs Practice: Defining Witchcraft in a Modern Age
Traditional Apprenticeships: Training in the Modern Pagan Abbey
2014's Magickal Magnificent Manifestations!
Lunar Insight Moon Musings, Planetary Preponderances: Wise and Wild
December 29th. 2013 ...
My Top Ten Favorite Cauldrons (Part 3)
13 Keys: The Might of Geburah
Beyond The Season of Greed
December 22nd. 2013 ...
My Top Ten Favorite Cauldrons (Part 2)
December 15th. 2013 ...
The Hex Murder of 1928
My Top Ten Favorite Cauldrons (Part 1)
Lady of the Forest Mist (A Story of the Woods)
Lunar Insight Moon Musings: Hunting, Fires and Parting Shots
December 8th. 2013 ...
Help and Thoughts for Pagans New to the Journey
Using Your Wand in Reverse
Leaving a Group - Part 2: Leaving, Healing and Moving Forward
The Cry of the Soul
December 1st. 2013 ...
The Tarot as a Tool for Raising Consciousness
A Pragmatic Look at Neo Paganism
Leaving a Pagan Group – Part 1: To Leave or to Stay?
November 24th. 2013 ...
The Pagan and the Papacy
The Groovy Aquarian Christ: Jesus From a Pagan Perspective
November 17th. 2013 ...
For Love of the God
Which Witch? Philosophical and Psychological Roots of Wicca
A Threat to Religious Liberties?
November 10th. 2013 ...
Where did Aleister Crowley’s Influence on Wicca Go?
Thoughts on the Threefold Law/Law of Return
The Celtic Tree Calendar
Nine Creeds: A Statement and Explanation of My Beliefs
November 3rd. 2013 ...
The Mundane/Spiritual Mirror: What Does it Say About Your Life?
October 27th. 2013 ...
Thoughts On a Miley-Cyrus/ Robin-Thicke Society
On Being Wiccan: Some Unsolicited Advice
Pagan Religious Communities in your Area: Connecting With and Creating Them
Banishing, Invocation and the Lesser Ritual of the Pentagram
October 20th. 2013 ...
Bottle Spells and Magick in Hoodoo Tradition
Weather Magick: Who is Responsible for the Weather?
Broom Closet: In or Out?
On Coven and Claws
October 13th. 2013 ...
Destroying to Create: A Lesson from the Dead
Consume the Scorpion- Scorpion Energy Revisited
October 6th. 2013 ...
UPG and U: A Breakdown and Building Up of Unverified and Unsubstantiated Personal Gnosis
Answering The Call from Spirit
Coping with the Loss of a Familiar
The Five-way Road: A Pagan Pilgrimage, Part 2 (The South)
September 29th. 2013 ...
Six Reasons Why Covens are Here to Stay
Priestessing and Titles: What's the Point?
Truth or Convenience? Questioning Motives for Spiritual Advancement
Speaking Up: The Conflict Between the Spiritualist and Our Human Experience
September 22nd. 2013 ...
Death of a Friendship within the Craft
The Five-way Road: A Pagan Pilgrimage, Part 1 (The Center)
September 15th. 2013 ...
Some Pagan Prayers
The Holocaust Survivor (Part II)
Lunar Insight Moon Musings: Bramble and Cerridwen
NOTE: For a complete list of articles related to this chapter... Visit the Main Index FOR this section.
My Interfaith (?) Struggle/Relationship
Article Specs |
Article ID: 10150
Age Group: Adult
Days Up: 3,086
Times Read: 2,662
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Posted: September 25th. 2005
Times Viewed: 2,662
Interfaith relationships are hard, but what if your lover/partner/spouse has no faith at all? Well, first of all, there is no such thing as having no faith. Even atheists believe in something. They merely hold that there is no God because they are bitter and angry or confused, or else they have something against people who do love God and Goddess.
I know about atheists because my boyfriend was one of them. When I first met him, his religious views were crushing and very disappointing to me. He held that there was no God (an utter shock to me, being the fervent Christian that I was); that he believed in nothing; and that, if there was a God, then God was vengeful and cruel. I could feel nothing but the greatest pity for him. The God I had known for the past five or so years was not vengeful or cruel. My God did not sit up in heaven wreaking havoc on sinful beings. My God loved us all, was waiting for us to speak to Him, and was waiting with open arms to receive our love. He didn't punish us with storms and hurricanes, fire and hail. My God was a God of love, and I let my boyfriend know this.
Looking back, I can remember just how lost and confused my boyfriend seemed. But I never had to wonder why once I met his mother. There are religious fanatics in the world - and then there is my boyfriend's mother. She tops them all; she takes the cake, and eats it too. She is the sort of person who seems (forgive me) a little obsessed with God. God is ALL that she ever talks about. I'm not exaggerating here. Even though, because of past events, I'm a little biased towards her, what I say here is the absolute truth. I can't look back and remember a time that she was WASN'T lecturing me about God and sex - and me, a devout Christian of five or six years. Lecturing me was like lecturing a nun. It was laughable.
It became clear that she did not know me at all, and she still does not know me, because instead of letting me talk WITH her, she talked AT me every time and never let me get a word in. Being with her in a car was like being lectured by your parents for all the bad things you ever did at once. And my boyfriend's mother's lectures, her "you're-going-to-hell” mania, made a little piece of our relationship crumble, if not a little piece of my heart.
My boyfriend, meanwhile, began to admit that God existed. We always had long talks about it in the dark. It's funny when I think about it, because most of the time we were lectured for sitting in the dark when, in fact, all we were doing was talking about God! You snicker, but I got a lot of grief for something that was very innocent. Yet, alas, even to this day, my boyfriend maintains that, and I quote, "God is there and he doesn't care." He thinks it's so funny when he says that, and he even joked about making up his own religion. He told me that he and others like him would stand together and sing, "God is there, but we don't care, ” and then go home and continue not caring. For the sake of not arguing or being dramatic, I laughed at his jokes. After all, his personal choices were none of my business. We aren't married, and I was never a very evangelistic Christian in those days. Other people's religions aren't my business. It's up to them how they commune with Goddess and God. But I couldn't help but feel a little miserable. No matter what I told myself, it hurt me when my boyfriend blew off God. I began to resent him and wish that he could be like me. Why couldn't he be Wiccan or Muslim or even Christian?
To be clear, it's not that my boyfriend is a narrow-minded monster. You see, it's the fact that he doesn't care at all. Being against Wicca would require his caring, and he's too lazy to put much thought into caring about people's religions at all. Not only is his mother's Christian mania a primary factor in his antagonism, but he has also had several bad experiences with Christians. Alas, there are good people in bad religions and bad people in good religions. Some people aren't necessarily "bad, ” they just mean well, and their good intentions get out of hand, leading to hurt and misunderstanding. My boyfriend, because of his appearance, was often perceived as being possessed of the devil. He was made a spectacle of in church as the church leaders proceeded to pray over him. (He likes to wear all black and cut his hair into a Mohawk, which doesn't help him much in a church scene, I know.)
My boyfriend is not a bigot, per se, he's just terribly ignorant. He asks questions, and I do my best to enlighten him, but the whole process is rather degrading. The way he brushes off everything just hurts. He bought me my first pentagram, and so I felt obliged to let him know, "Hey, I'm Wiccan now, not Christian!" But as far as things go now, I just flat out don't like to talk about religion with him. We are not like minds, my boyfriend and I, and so I always feel like it's a profound waste of time telling him what I believe and hearing him shrug and blow things off - when he asked in the first place!
And now that we've thrown a pity party for my boyfriend, where does that leave me? When I thought about a boyfriend in the past, religion was not a main factor. I was never keen on getting married, having three kids, and going to church every Sunday (not that there's anything wrong with that; it just wasn't my dream.) I feel like, the longer I date my boyfriend, the more hurt he can cause concerning religion. I suppose I shouldn't care, I suppose I should ignore him. He doesn't say things to hurt me intentionally. I wish sometimes that I could talk about religion with someone who's religious. I don't come from a religious background, and even so, I'm almost certain my family would frown on me if I started trying to initiate conversations about full moon rituals. Who understands what it is to love God and Goddess? To dance with Them in the light of the full moon? To light candles for Them and whisper prayers? No one I know.
And so, in the end, my Wiccan name really lives up to its title. I am Enola, that is, Alone.
Location: yuma, Arizona
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