A Pagan life in Orange County
Article ID: 13165
Age Group: Adult
Days Up: 3,391
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Author: Mara Light
Posted: March 8th. 2009
Times Viewed: 3,177
More than anything in the world I would love to say I wake up around seven with the sun beginning to bath light through my window, and my body in lotus position in my meditation room while sage smoke fills my lungs and connects me with the God and Goddess. At the end of the day I return home, light a candle at my altar, breath in deeply the incense that sooths my frazzled nerves, and have a nice little chat with the powers that be.
But in all honesty, Iím making a mad dash down my stairs because I slept through my alarm and have exactly fifteen minutes to get to my college courses, usually donít arrive home until late at night, canít sit in lotus position to save my life, and donít own a meditation room. Though if I did you can bet it would be used!
Itís not a very Pagan like image is it? And up until a few weeks ago I was rather despondent over the fact that I just didnít feel veryÖwellÖWitchy. When I was a teenager and new to the craft I found myself under a tree every day at lunch with my fellow coven mates learning how to talk to trees, read tarot and runes, and plotted esbats and sabbat rituals with delight. I did spells in the dead of night (mainly so my candles werenít seen by my mother, as she didnít like the fact I was pagan) , meditations, and even wrote songs. I was so connected with both my religion and magic that I never even thought real life would take over.
But now that Iím in the middle of college and stuffing my brain not only with English, but another language as well, Iíve also felt my outer-Witch had started to become a blurry version of what I once was. I donít meditate often, I donít perform spells much, and Iíve even been guilty of missing a sabbat or two. How can I call myself a Pagan or even a Witch if I keep putting things off?
I was beginning to feel decidedly unworthy of the title ĎWitchí. After all, arenít we as pagans supposed to have altars to the gods of our choice, praise the god and goddess and remember the sabbats that mark our major holidays? Arenít we supposed to do spells to better our lives and others? With these thoughts in my head I really began to feel the guilt set in. What kind of daughter was I that I seemed to not even perform the most basic of basics in my own path?
Then a funny thing happened, and it couldnít have been at a more appropriate time. Two little girls who I have looked after for five years asked me to teach them magick. I was taken aback. I knew I had told them I practiced magick a while ago (without proclaiming I was a witch) , and they had been very excited and eager to ask basic questions at the time such as 'how do you use it?' and 'What does it look like?' but after that they seemed satisfied and I didn't push it further. Yet here they were with two pairs of large brown eyes fixed on me expectantly as we lounged about on their bed.
I knew they read a lot of books involving magic that showed physical proof (thank you Harry Potter!) , and that they were hoping for something that would be tangible. After all, how do you explain to an eight and ten year old why a spell will work simply because you lit a candle and said some words? So I gave them the basic instruction of creating and feeling your own energy with your hands, and as I watched theyíre awed faces and heard their squeals of delight at their accomplishments, it dawned on me that I was being pagan in other ways.
Every day when I wake up and step outside I pause to say hello to the flowers I raised from seedlings, and smile and thank trees for clean air as I walk to school, or look into clouds and see a message. I did it every day in ways I took for mundane things because I did them so often. But here I was on a bed with two little girls who were fascinated with the simple act of energy growing between their palms.
And the gods have given me yet another way to be pagan: teaching. Through a series of events over the past few months Iíve found myself coming in contact recently with many people who have never heard of the pagan path but upon asking me Ďwhat Wicca/paganism isí have found that its something theyíre always inherently done and want to learn. And so I find my phone being bombarded with texts and voice mails on questions of history, tarot, ghosts, psychic abilities, and so much more! Iíve become more involved in the pagan community because of them in search for answers I donít always know, or to guide them to the right people or books that are more beneficial to them.
So I supposed it could be said that while I may not use bells or whistles, or meditate, or go to my alter every day as some say you should, I wake up, I commune with plants, talk to the divine, and yes, I even meditate from time to time! But as I look at these articles and talk to other pagans, one thing seems to remain true; we are all pagan in our own ways, whether its through talking with nature on our way to school, going into a room to meditate, an altar to light a candle, or a church to pray. I breathe, I think, I teach, I learn. And I do it every day as I rush out of my room with only fifteen minutes to get to class.
Location: Lake Forest, California
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