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Article ID: 13453

VoxAcct: 298576

Section: words

Age Group: Adult

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Kangaroo Magic

Author: witchdoctorjoe
Posted: August 2nd. 2009
Times Viewed: 3,900

One of the cool things about being in the military can be all the traveling. But only if you enjoy it as much as I do. During my ten years in the U.S. ARMY I was sent to many countries. Perhaps my favorite was Australia.

I have spent most of my life as a student of native practices and always had a fascination with the Aboriginal culture, their dreamtime and their Magic. Did you know the Didgeridoo is the first musical instrument in human history?

While I was there, the local aborigines taught me a lot about the magic of the Kangaroo, and most importantly, how to tell when they're going to attack you. Surprisingly enough they are actually VERY dangerous, but fortunately for us they go through a checklist before they attack.

The first thing they do is smile. Well no, not really but that's what it looks like. Actually they're baring their teeth just like a dog, but because of their facial structure it appears as though they're smiling.

The second thing they do is double-check their pouch for baby Joey's. As it turns out they're very responsible parents whether they have children or not, they check anyways. There's something to be said about that.

And third, they look over both shoulders, checking behind them as they lay their very large tail down on the ground. It acts as a "kick stand" (which I believe is where the term came from) as they lean back and lay into you with a battery of high speed Kangaroo Karate kicks.

They average about five to seven solid kicks before you're knocked out of range. I spoke to a local man who holds the distance record: an adult Kangaroo kicked him fourteen feet. He's a bit of a celebrity who's very popular with the ladies. He has a shirt and everything.

But I think the most magical thing I learned about Kangaroos is that everything you just read is a completely false. It's all a lie. I am a big fat liar and you totally fell for it! Except the part about the Didgeridoo and me being in the Army, everything else is Bullspit, which is a really powerful magic form of magic. Magic that is cast upon us every day by Kangaroo Magicians.

But don't feel bad; in your defense I did do a very good job. I am known to be an honest and reliable source of information, who has routinely written about things I have experienced overseas, and I have been told that I am a decent writer with a gift for delivery.

Plus everything I stated was very believable. Most of us have seen that classic cartoon where a Kangaroo escapes from the circus and the cat thinks it's a giant mouse. It all made perfect sense. We need things to make sense, it gives a sense of control, and we sleep better at night knowing the tail tale signs of dangerous Kangaroos should we meet one in a dark alley someday.

I have cast this Kangaroo spell upon you and recanted it to demonstrate how easy it is to do and how well it works. I have done this to warn you that Kangaroo Magicians are everywhere, casting Kangaroo lies on all of us.

Kangaroo magic says you must only do it this one true way, my one true way and thou shalt not bare false witchcraft. Kangaroo Magicians tell us we must use a red candle for love or a green candle for prosperity. They tell us we can't do this or that, not on our own. We need them to show us, to teach us. We need them to take control, to take responsibility and give us the rules because that gives us that sense of control we need, so we can sleep better a night knowing the magic works, if you do it their way.

The truth is our ancestors didn't have the luxurious selection of colored and scented candles that we do today. They had just the one, beeswax. There is this motto that is loved in my family: "We have done so much, with so little, for so long, that now we can do anything, with nothing".

I was taught it's not the color of the candle but what you put into it, and how well you use it that counts. Buying beeswax from a local beekeeper and making your own candles is the most powerful kind of candle magic there is, no matter how you do it.

But the Kangaroo Magicians will tell you otherwise. Every day you are bombarded by Kangaroo facts in everything from produce advertisements for "100% lean" meats to television infomercials for diet products, exercise equipment and male enhancements. They sell the idea of instant results with no effort, no work. Instant drive thru gratification, but wait, there's more, if you call now we'll double that order absolutely free, operator are standing by...

Witchcraft is no different; there are hundreds of books lining the shelves of your local bookstores. Books of Shadows, magic, spells and rituals that tell you step by step how it is done, written by someone who has been doing it longer and better than you. But they weren't born in this condition; they started out just like you. Their books should be meant to inform, assist, encourage and inspire but they are not any more valid than your own beliefs and practices and should all be taken with a few grains of salt.

There is a belief that old knowledge is more valid. Vintage tables of correspondences for symbols, stones, herbs and oils make it easy. But how does anyone know what the planetary correspondence is for dragons’ blood? They scryed a completely different form of dragons blood, hundreds of years ago, from a place hundreds of miles away, using an questionable system or a technique completely different, which was all comprehended by a consciousness completely alien to you and I.

We must question its reliability. I know if I scryed the dragons blood I use, here and now, using my own personal system and technique I am going to get a completely different reading that is more accurate to me and my magical workings. Just like our bodies metabolisms, our magical energies are all different. And just like prescription medications, herbs, oils, stones and their attributions have different reactions within our magical metabolisms and different effects on our magical workings.

Don't let the Kangaroo Magicians tell you you're doing it wrong. Don't let them cloud your thoughts or destroy your self-esteem and your self-confidence. Don't get caught up in the false mystique of the craft. It’s just smoke, mirrors and thin air.

Let go of the bells and the whistles, let go of the terms, conditions, requirements and restrictions. Believe in yourself and have faith in your natural abilities and instincts, and then build on them.

Question the dogma that's being injected into the craft because all magic, Kangaroo or not, at some point was created from scratch by someone just like you. From the Priest Kings of Atlantis to the Grand Poobahs of the sacred Twinkies, every ancient mystery tradition was only a day old at some point.

Your craft should be a deep and personal path. Personalize it; make it your own. Create and develop your own ways. Witchcraft is yours for the making.



Location: Visalia, California


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