Article ID: 14162
Age Group: Adult
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Posted: November 28th. 2010
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As a young child I started learning about the expectations of the world pretty quickly. While I wanted to walk around without a shirt like a boy I wasn’t allowed. While I wanted to be able to play well past my bedtime I wasn’t allowed. While I wanted to be able to watch cartoons on a Sunday I was forced to go to church anyway.
Church was a pretty regular thing with my family despite how strange I seemed compared to the rest of them. Even when my family was on food stamps because both of my parents’ minimum wage jobs could barely pay their house payments, we would go to church. It happened every week no matter what else happened. Most weekends, my dad wouldn’t go with us since he worked the graveyard shift at the time. But my mom and we kids always went. We’d pile into my mom’s 1996 Ford Explorer and go. This was even before any of us were even able to read a bible, nonetheless completely understand what the pastor was saying to us. It was just something that happened in my family as it does with the families of many others.
At about 12, I realized that I was interested in both sexes. It wasn’t something I could figure out how to control no matter how much I tried to. Our church even told me at the time that being interested in the same sex was a sin and I wouldn’t be accepted into heaven if I were that way. This kept me trying to reverse it until the age of 16, which probably isn’t a surprise for many of us who are in the homosexual range of interest. I noticed myself separating from the Christian faith that I had always practiced. By high school my mom had decided that it was okay to spend a week alone at a Christian camp where we had the bible preached to us and were shown the kind of lifestyle that they believed God would want from us. In a way, I wasn’t surprised.
During my second trip to the camp, I was introduced to a theory: that any one religion or spiritual person only saw part of the whole picture. The preacher was using it to make the point that all other religions were wrong. Unfortunately for the pastor that week, I agreed that Christianity didn’t see the whole picture. I believed that nature had a lot to tell us and that there had to be more than one God could ever tell us.
All of the counselors at the camp tried to convince me otherwise. All of the people in my cabin who believed I was wrong tried to convince me otherwise. When none of them worked they scheduled me an appointment with the pastor to convince me of something different. None of them really worked. I ended up sticking with Christianity for a few more years, practically forced myself to. I didn’t even reveal that I was clairvoyant at that point figuring they’d try to talk me out of that too.
After another year in high school, I met a third Wiccan person (the first two were in my grade and used the threat of “turning someone into a toad” or giving them “a rash no modern medicine could rid them of” as a way of keeping people away from them) and we became close friends. After coming out at 16, he came out to me as well. Sexuality was the first thing we both discovered we shared. After a while we grew apart, went to different schools. After a year of being out of touch, he eventually called me and asked if I wanted to hang out with him for a few hours. I agreed since I needed something to do and had my own car so could easily get there. He was housesitting for a pagan friend at that point and had me meet him there.
The entire house was covered in religious decorations. I asked him about every single thing and had it all explained to me. As he showed me more and more rooms of the house, one of them had an altar sitting in it. I asked about that. It was explained in as much detail as everything else. By the time he was done explaining everything and he was done showing me around, we’d been talking about Wicca and Paganism for two- and- a- half hours. I learned more about a religion that wasn’t my own than I ever had before. It drew me completely and I wanted to learn as much about it as I could.
After he signed for a package his friend had wanted him to get, he asked if I would be willing to meet him at his place in a few hours so we could go on a ghost-hunting trip. I ran home, ate dinner and got the address to his place. I ended up getting lost on the way there (being the directionally challenged person I am) but was close to being there on time. We ended up going to third bridge and I let him drive since he already knew where he was going. I asked even more questions about Paganism and Wicca in an effort to learn as much about it as I could before we were done spending time together. I succeeded with that but I still wanted to learn a lot more.
I went online and looked for as much as I possibly could about it. I did searches for everything I could. I joined groups on MySpace so I could share what I was finding and see what others had to say. Eventually I was turned to the Witches' Voice website and have loved everything I’d ever read here. I was always looking for something new to learn about anything.
Once I got a GPS system to help me with my dysfunction with directions, I started checking out as much as I could from the closest library to me. I learned everything I could about it and collected as much information as I could. I’ve checked out more than 100 books on the subject and read every one.
I have what it is that I believe firmly set up and am never afraid to add to my Book of Shadows as I see fit. It’s regularly evolving. I pass what I know to anyone who asks me questions and wants to know more, just like I had done for me.
I do believe in never converting people. I myself was never converted by anyone. I had the ability to find the Craft on my own and by asking as many questions as I could of someone already practicing. I do it whenever I can -- though interest in my Bible belt town seems to be minimal. I try to offer people some book suggestions as I read new ones and learn things I may not have known earlier. Knowledge is something that I feel passionate about and I am willing to share whatever I can with others.
Location: Denver, Colorado
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