Article Specs |
Article ID: 11596
Age Group: Adult
Days Up: 3,201
Times Read: 3,395
RSS Views: 80,022
Type of Passage: Death
Date of Passage: December 18th. 2006
Author: Circles in the Woods CUUPS [a WitchVox Sponsor]
Posted: February 25th. 2007
Times Viewed: 3,395
In memory of Loren McAdams, 1965 - 2006
by Mary Francis
She walked gracefully up the driveway toward us. Her blond hair wavered slightly in the breeze and her dark brown skirt twinkled with gold flecks. Loren's long wavy blond hair and almost black eyes contrasted against an ivory complexion with just a hint of color from the sun. Everyone greeted her with a hug. That's a pretty skirt. Is it new? Yes. We all talked for a while and then went inside. That was the last night Loren came to a CUUPS Full Moon Celebration – December 2nd, 2006.
But, I can’t remember exactly the first time I met Loren. She was so calm and polite with a voice of sweetness that it almost made her seem shy. But Loren wasn’t shy; she laughed, danced and enjoyed life. She was unassuming and satisfied with being part of things by listening and watching and never needing to be the center of attention. Along with everyone else in our circle, she shared her joys and her difficulties so we knew there were difficulties in her marriage.
And even though she had been part of Sacred Oaks Circle for only around three years, it seemed like it was much longer. In August of 2004, Loren had requested Dedication to Sacred Oaks Circle and that began her close relationship with everyone. Loren was the kind of person who was open, sharing, caring, intelligent and easy to get to talk to. Loren was ready to listen to problems about difficult situations and gave honest and good advice. Loren also was receptive to others opinions and responded with an open mind and loving heart. No doubt, part of the reason she was such a good mother, friend, employee, and circle sister.
Even before Loren’s Dedication to our circle, she was helping with CUUPS Full Moon Celebrations at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Tampa. There was a Imbolc ritual in early February of 2005, just before her Dedication to the circle later that month, and we needed someone for the role of the Goddess Bridget. Loren’s had the perfect ‘look’ so we convinced her to represent Bridget. Bridget is a Fire Goddess and typically portrayed with a crown of evergreens with candles in it. No matter what we said, she would not put real lit candles on her head! So we came up with the idea of a wreath with battery operated tapers for her to wear and she did it willingly. She made a beautiful Bridget!
In February of 2005, Loren became a Dedicant to Sacred Oaks Circle, which involved a yearlong commitment to study the spiritual path of Wicca and spending a lot of time with activities and members of the circle. It also involved supporting Circles in the Woods CUUPS activities.
Loren had been reading Tarot since she was a teenager and was very good at it. Loren taught classes on Tarot at one of our CUUPS meetings and was our resource anytime Circle members wanted advice on Tarot. One of the things that made Loren so good at Tarot was her natural psychic ability. Loren was intuitive with people and could ‘feel’ energies that many of us block. I think this was the reason so many found her personality as calming and sweet. She could sense how people felt and cared enough to help them when they were stressed.
Loren was a great mother and frequently brought her children to Circle activities. She also often baked cakes and brought them to our get togethers. Loren included squash, pumpkin and other things in her cakes. She said that Max, Hayden and Jordan didn’t like vegetables so she secretly fed them healthy cakes. Our Circle got to share in the same healthy cakes and they were always yummy.
In October 2005, CUUPS held our 1st Witches Masquerade as a fundraiser for the church. Loren was our only tarot reader. We had no idea how successful it would be! Loren got stuck in that booth all night and had to swim through a mob of waiting clients just to run to the toilet. Others brought her wine and food since she couldn’t get away to get anything herself. She never complained – such a sweety.
After Loren had completed her year and a day Dedication period, she decided that Wicca was her spiritual path and she requested her 1st Degree Initiation ritual. She made her request for Initiation at our annual weekend retreat, January 2006, where the circle members annually spend the weekend together planning the upcoming year. Loren selected her birthday, April 28th, for her Initiation.
On the day of her Initiation, the weather was great and so the ritual was outside. Loren was excited; plus it was her birthday and she had invited friends from that were not part of the circle to attend the party after the ritual. We all had fun coming in from the initiation rite, finding everyone to welcome her in the house and announcing the new Priestess. We feasted, drank wine, and watched Loren open all of her gifts. Fun night!
In working toward her 2nd degree Initiation, Loren had agreed to teach some of the Wicca 101 classes so we all gathered for planning sessions in November 2006. Loren had great input and was willing to do whatever was needed. After the planning was finished, we all sat, drank wine and shared life experiences; both happy and difficult. Loren’s divorce was to be final on the 13th of December and her husband was being agreeable thus far.
Unfortunately, Loren left us for Summerland on December 18th 2006. Her laughter, jokes, silliness, seriousness, stories, insight, advice will continue live on in our memories. She was taken by a bullet from a gun in the hand of one who had once sworn to love and protect her; her now ex-husband. How could someone so intuitive not know? She did. She shared concerns about his depression and had tarot readings that told her a major transition was coming. That night she protected her son by telling him to ‘Go’ when he was threatened if he were to go for help. Help came too late.
Loren’s middle name was Lenore. She said once that she loved the poem ‘Lenore’ by Edgar Allan Poe. In planning her memorial, some of us pulled up the poem on the computer, and began reading it. Tear came to our eyes and we couldn’t finish reading it in the first session because it was Loren’s story:
Ah, broken is the golden bowl! the spirit flown forever!
Let the bell toll!- a saintly soul floats on the Stygian river;
And, Guy de Vere, hast thou no tear?- weep now or nevermore!
See! on yon drear and rigid bier low lies thy love, Lenore!
Come! let the burial rite be read- the funeral song be sung!-
An anthem for the queenliest dead that ever died so young-
A dirge for her the doubly dead in that she died so young.
"Wretches! ye loved her for her wealth and hated her for her pride,
And when she fell in feeble health, ye blessed her- that she died!
How shall the ritual, then, be read?- the requiem how be sung
By you- by yours, the evil eye, - by yours, the slanderous tongue
That did to death the innocence that died, and died so young?"
Peccavimus; but rave not thus! and let a Sabbath song
Go up to God so solemnly the dead may feel no wrong.
The sweet Lenore hath "gone before, " with Hope, that flew beside,
Leaving thee wild for the dear child that should have been thy bride.
For her, the fair and debonair, that now so lowly lies,
The life upon her yellow hair but not within her eyes
The life still there, upon her hair- the death upon her eyes.
Avaunt! tonight my heart is light. No dirge will I upraise,
But waft the angel on her flight with a paean of old days!
Let no bell toll! -lest her sweet soul, amid its hallowed mirth,
Should catch the note, as it doth float up from the damned Earth.
To friends above, from fiends below, the indignant ghost is riven -
From Hell unto a high estate far up within the Heaven -
From grief and groan to a golden throne beside the King of Heaven."
Loren will be missed and yet always be part of our lives. It’s hard to let go.
Circles in the Woods CUUPS
Location: Tampa, Florida
Bio: Mary Francis
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