Integration of Parts of Self
Article ID: 14038
Age Group: Adult
Days Up: 2,659
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Author: Maggi Horseman
Posted: September 5th. 2010
Times Viewed: 4,029
One of the main goals of the practitioner is awareness, control, and integration of the different parts of self. Integration can awaken us; it can give us more fluid power, knowledge of ourselves, and stronger connection to the Divine.
There are several categories these can follow such as:
Reclaiming: Younger Self, Talking Self, and Higher Self
Feri: Sticky One, Shining Body, and Sacred Dove
Hebrew: Nefesh, Ruach, Neshama, Chaya, Yechida
Servants of the Light: Physical, Mental, Emotional, Spiritual (planes of existence)
Elemental: Body, Mind, Heart, Soul, and Spirit.
Whatever the names or the exact system, all of these are focused on harmonizing and integrating, becoming aware, and living in a conscious, fluid, and healthy way. The balancing and healing of those parts allow one to reach further through the planes, live more successfully and healthily and evolve on our spiritual path.
Often one reads of awakening into magickal existence or full living. For me, I sought for many years on a hope, a dream, and a wish that there was something more. As my practice broadened and deepened, like a flower opening, existence did the same. There was so much more to be aware of, to learn, to celebrate, share, and work toward.
One thing I have struggled with is letting my conscious self let go in order to let my younger self and higher self take the reins. Last night I found some success with that endeavor. Through music, dancing, art making, journaling, and scrying I engaged the flow of life. The message bubbling up kept urging me "Let go, trust, have faith!"
I stand at the beginning, of a life of so much more engagement. All I have to do is refuse to shut myself off from it. Yes, it is scary. Yes I risk failure, and yet, if I listen to those other parts of me, there is no risk... for it cannot fail.
Even in the still, coldness of winter is life, turning and yearning within the seeds in the ground. Within the DNA deep within the seeds of promise, I look to the future and will walk into my birthright.
My subconscious has been screaming for me to listen, trust, and make change. I've made several large steps to try to turn around my personal boat to make change and head in new headings. It seems that my subconscious does not feel that the change is fast enough. Does it wish for me to dive out of the boat and swim within the waters of life itself? Quite possibly. Entrepreneurs, creative types, those that made big changes in their lives often get to a crisis moment where the status quo or small changes are no longer enough. What is the magick ingredient that makes the big risks worth it? That was the carpe diem call to arms urging me on for most of the night. Jump, dive, let go--go for it!!!
Last night, after a very full day of meetings, socializing, planning, kids, and a completed sewing project, I found myself not hungry, nor lonely, nor bored, but just weepy and generally hormonal. My partner and I had a good time, watching a movie, but mainly talking and spending time together doing nothing. We talked about my feelings a bit, and I had the space to just exist in the feeling without having fear of it taking over, nor really needing to do anything about it. As I let the feeling expand, I realized that the discomfort was from only allowing myself to feel within my physical flesh boundaries. I expanded the feeling a couple of layers out. It started to feel better. I opened up a channel of my chakras and ran the feeling through me and out. I wasn't dispelling or dismissing the feeling, but letting it flow. My hormone level increased, my awareness increased, I felt weepy, but then I also felt tapped in. Much of my problems lately had been from squeezing too much into too small of a space. I am more than my physical form.
This may seem obvious to metaphysical minded folks, but to know it in my head, but then transfer it into energetic practice were two different things. Much like I have allowed myself to be in ritual, I began, in a mundane space, to exist as my magickal self, integrated, connected, flowing, larger, more powerful.
This idea connected to something bothering me in my work life. People who know me personally see me as driven, assertive, and sometimes as a dominate personality or a hot head, and yet at work, I am seen as submissive, eager to please, easy going, and laid back. I feel shy often at work and in personal settings have felt less and less shy or inhibited. Like an insect that has to break open its skin to grow, I have been wearing armor that has been too tight, unyielding, and inflexible. Impervious yes, but not dynamic or adaptive.
Today, at first I still felt melancholy, but as I woke up and began to act in my world, I realized that indeed more of me was active and flowing. I remembered my a ritual experience I had last year in the Qabalistic sphere of Binah, and recalled holding the Pearl of my dreams for this lifetime. I had more time in the morning to accomplish things. I felt empowered to do what was needed in my day and less concerned with the inequities of my job environment or the world. With integration, we know that what that ache within us is saying is our true Will.
Grace. Ah, yes. I drove past a bald eagle and felt as if it was acknowledging me eye to eye. I felt no fear today, nor pain. The frustration of the year of challenges was finally starting to settle in. I was starting to master within myself new ways to approach and use my own energetic fields. The Empress, Strength, and Temperance.
There is an amazing thing about growth and the process of learning. It doesn't have to hurt or be uncomfortable. How often are we given advice by our elders, our loved ones, or even ourselves that we just don't know how to integrate and put into practice until we are ready? It seems so often that we are not ready for this act of integration until we have been exposed to the concept in several ways, hundreds of times, or over the years. I may never know what the catalyst is that finally precipitates into a new realization, but I have found that, thank the Gods I am learning faster and easier as time goes on.
Evolutionary Witchcraft by T. Thorn Coyle
Climbing the Tree Ritual by the Assembly of the Sacred Wheel
Location: Tallahassee, Florida
Author's Profile: To learn more about Maggi Horseman - Click HERE
Bio: Maggi Horseman has been studying for 10 years as a Celtic and Norse focused Witch. She is a Second Degree Initiate of the Assembly of the Sacred Wheel, a Wiccan Tradition, (www.sacredwheel.org) and is a member of one of its covens Chalice of Living Stars.
She is mainly interested in the Celtic and Norse pantheons. She has relationships with Brigid, Herne, Freya, Odin, Artio (Celtic Artemis) , and the Morrigan, but is dedicated to none.
Maggi’s interests range from qabala, tarot, astrology, aspecting, Thelema, faery, nature devas, kitchen witchery, herbalism and gardening, shadow work, sacred dreaming, martial arts and warriorship, women's mysteries and empowerment, and magickal painting.
Maggi has a BA Degree in Fine Art and Anthropology from Salisbury University. She serves on the council of the Northern NJ Pagan Fellowship a networking, social, ritual, and training group. She is currently teaching and training for 3rd degree in the Assembly of the Sacred Wheel with hopes to start a new Assembly coven in northern New Jersey.
Read more of Maggi’s poetry, prose, and commentary on her blog at https://lettinggoisflying.blogspot.com.
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