Article ID: 14969
Age Group: Adult
Days Up: 774
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Posted: March 11th. 2012
Times Viewed: 2,727
To some, this journey may be easier than to others. For myself in particular, it is proving to be very difficult. Growing up in a solely Baptist family and growing less and less interested in Christianity isn't easy. I can't quite connect and have an unwavering faith like the rest of my family, and that has made me feel out of odds and slightly disconnected from them for a long time. Even though I could never truly believe in God, it wasn't hard to feel like there was something else watching over me, guiding me, protecting me all the time.
I would look into other religions and I quickly became fascinated with Celtic history and the heritage that used to be in my family before they grew to ignore it, and the more I learned, the more I wanted to learn. Around this time, this is embarrassing to admit, but I began reading a fictional book series that involved some facts about Wicca and my interest peaked a little more. Initially I tried to push it aside and continued my religious research, praying to anything and everything that I would find a path and soon.
It was easy enough to stumble across information while studying into other religions and such, but Wicca was different. It really seemed to speak to me. I'm not quite sure if this is how it happens to everyone, or if we all come about it differently, but Wicca just.... Speaks to me in a way that church and God never did. It's easy with very little research to understand that all the pre-conceived notions about Wicca that my family has are completely false.
After further research, and further interest into my book series I must admit, I spoke to a friend of mine who had also never been interested in church and we agreed to try Wicca out together. My friend however, was headed down a path that I knew wasn't where I wanted to be, and seemed to go against what I had learned about the rules of Wicca. She wasn't concerned with the Wiccan Rede anymore, and she began to refuse listening to it, (we used to read it before we did anymore practice or reading to remind ourselves that some things were better left alone) , and even started ignoring my incessant reminder of the three fold law. In all honesty it scared me thoroughly, and I tried to quite studying, practicing, everything with her. I didn’t want to go down a path that had the potential to ruin my life, and I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I wanted it to stop, and eventually I got the courage to tell her so.
It wasn’t easy. An argument ensued, and in my fear of what her decisions and where her path may lead her, I lost her friendship. I quite reading about Wicca, I tried to pretend I had never thought about it, that it didn’t exist, which wasn’t hard in my community. I began going back to church with my family, for the first time in ages, but I still wasn’t happy. I had been truly frightened by my experience with my friend and I no longer knew what to do with the thoughts I had about Wicca, because I no longer wanted anything to do with it if it was going to result in my ostracism from my friends.
I took the loss hard and very personal and going to church made me bitterly regard God. I blamed God for making everything so hard and I was angry that my path in life was turning out to be so difficult. I wanted to know my place in life and wanted explanations for my withdrawal from Christianity and God, but my feelings of a higher power. I began making lists to figure out what exactly I did believe, and with what I had to go on, it easily crossed out most religions.
I felt so lost. I was out of place, so out of synch with the people in my life. I didn’t know how to explain all this to most of my friends, I hadn’t even been able to tell them why I had ceased a friendship, and the only information I offered up was that an argument was involved. When they finally convinced me to tell the whole truth, instead of pieces, I broke down. I was so upset that I couldn’t hold it together anymore. I felt weak, though it’s embarrassing to admit that online.
It didn’t take many weeks attending church to remember why I had ceased going before and tentatively I tried to find my research again. It took mere days for me to fall back into hesitant research of Wicca. When I found this site I was so grateful, so relieved. It wasn’t a hoax; it was truly for the things I needed. I even found a few people within a twenty minute drive that practiced Wicca near my small, Christian, ridiculously prejudiced town. I was elated at the thought that there were resources I might be able to utilize, people that I could reach out to for guidance. Before I had never considered the possibly that there might actually be people near me that practiced Wicca, the whole concept seemed so outrageous, but thankfully it wasn’t. I am very luck that I found this website when I did. I was so furious inside that my family couldn’t fathom why I wouldn’t believe that way that they do, and I was tired of having no one to talk to about it. Now there are many people I could talk to if I needed it.
I reached out and found someone nearby willing to help me learn more that’s close to my age and everything. This website is truly a blessing and an honest lifeline. A resource that I am truly glad I found. Thank you all so much for having the strength to start this site and run it the way you do.
Location: Wildwood, Georgia
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