Articles/Essays From Pagans
March 9th. 2014 ...
Healing the Witch Within
Discovering Wicca as a Young Child
March Pisces Energy: Pre-natal Memories and Standing Upright
March 2nd. 2014 ...
Lessons of Ostara: Six Ways to Move Forward
The Wiccan Priest - The Misunderstood Role
Which is Which? Am I a Warlock or a Witch?
The Secret Teaching: Selected Aspects
February 23rd. 2014 ...
Wicca or Traditional Witchcraft: Some Differences
Everything is Not Under Your Control: Making Sense of the Senseless
The Wonders and Gifts of Paganism and Community
What Makes Us What We Are
February 16th. 2014 ...
Death, Grief, and Psychopomp Work in Shamanic Healing
The Stones of Fear: Anxiety Relief
Spiritual Traveler: Form To Essence
Alternative Medicine – What Is It?
February 9th. 2014 ...
Words of Power!
The Allure of Glamour in the Apocolypse
Lunar Insight Planetary Preponderances: Year of the Horse, Imbolc and Mercury Grazings
February 2nd. 2014 ...
The Magick of Jewelry and Metals
Building a Magick Mirror
The Golden Bough: a Study Guide (Part 2)
January 26th. 2014 ...
Love of Self: The Hardest Thing To Do
The Golden Bough as a Seminal Work in the Neo Pagan Movement (Part 1)
13 Keys: The Mercy of Chesed
Lightworking In The Screen Age: Staying Connected
January 19th. 2014 ...
Open Letter to the Goddess
A Southern Girl's Guide to Hospitality
Social Conventions and the Pagan World
January 12th. 2014 ...
Never Once Was There a An Athame Near My Chalice: My Very Sheltered Occultist Upbringing
One Wiccan's Journey Through Depression
January 5th. 2014 ...
Religion vs Practice: Defining Witchcraft in a Modern Age
Traditional Apprenticeships: Training in the Modern Pagan Abbey
2014's Magickal Magnificent Manifestations!
Lunar Insight Moon Musings, Planetary Preponderances: Wise and Wild
December 29th. 2013 ...
My Top Ten Favorite Cauldrons (Part 3)
13 Keys: The Might of Geburah
Beyond The Season of Greed
December 22nd. 2013 ...
My Top Ten Favorite Cauldrons (Part 2)
December 15th. 2013 ...
The Hex Murder of 1928
My Top Ten Favorite Cauldrons (Part 1)
Lady of the Forest Mist (A Story of the Woods)
Lunar Insight Moon Musings: Hunting, Fires and Parting Shots
December 8th. 2013 ...
Help and Thoughts for Pagans New to the Journey
Using Your Wand in Reverse
Leaving a Group - Part 2: Leaving, Healing and Moving Forward
The Cry of the Soul
December 1st. 2013 ...
The Tarot as a Tool for Raising Consciousness
A Pragmatic Look at Neo Paganism
Leaving a Pagan Group – Part 1: To Leave or to Stay?
November 24th. 2013 ...
The Pagan and the Papacy
The Groovy Aquarian Christ: Jesus From a Pagan Perspective
November 17th. 2013 ...
For Love of the God
Which Witch? Philosophical and Psychological Roots of Wicca
A Threat to Religious Liberties?
November 10th. 2013 ...
Where did Aleister Crowley’s Influence on Wicca Go?
Thoughts on the Threefold Law/Law of Return
The Celtic Tree Calendar
Nine Creeds: A Statement and Explanation of My Beliefs
November 3rd. 2013 ...
The Mundane/Spiritual Mirror: What Does it Say About Your Life?
October 27th. 2013 ...
Thoughts On a Miley-Cyrus/ Robin-Thicke Society
On Being Wiccan: Some Unsolicited Advice
Pagan Religious Communities in your Area: Connecting With and Creating Them
Banishing, Invocation and the Lesser Ritual of the Pentagram
October 20th. 2013 ...
Bottle Spells and Magick in Hoodoo Tradition
Weather Magick: Who is Responsible for the Weather?
Broom Closet: In or Out?
On Coven and Claws
October 13th. 2013 ...
Destroying to Create: A Lesson from the Dead
Consume the Scorpion- Scorpion Energy Revisited
October 6th. 2013 ...
UPG and U: A Breakdown and Building Up of Unverified and Unsubstantiated Personal Gnosis
Answering The Call from Spirit
Coping with the Loss of a Familiar
The Five-way Road: A Pagan Pilgrimage, Part 2 (The South)
September 29th. 2013 ...
Six Reasons Why Covens are Here to Stay
Priestessing and Titles: What's the Point?
Truth or Convenience? Questioning Motives for Spiritual Advancement
Speaking Up: The Conflict Between the Spiritualist and Our Human Experience
September 22nd. 2013 ...
Death of a Friendship within the Craft
NOTE: For a complete list of articles related to this chapter... Visit the Main Index FOR this section.
The Dark Side of Leading: Covens, Groups or Groves
Article ID: 13191
Age Group: Adult
Days Up: 1,815
Times Read: 3,509
RSS Views: 31,908
Author: Lady Abigail [a WitchVox Sponsor]
Posted: March 22nd. 2009
Times Viewed: 3,509
Perhaps the biggest challenge in any group is in understanding the people you work with. In search of the perfect solution, most people become oblivious to those of differencing opinions. It is not negative; it shows passion to their beliefs. But be careful, passion can sometimes lead to wishing and hoping for things to be different than they truly are or thinking that you have the only answer. This can set up problems when things don‘t go your way.
Gaining the respect of a group is paramount as a leader. Respect comes from knowledge, understanding and accomplishments. You must also show your credibility and reliability within the group so that there is an awareness that you will always do what is in the group’s best interests.
For effectiveness in leadership there must be trust and humility. It is a mistake to try to "become an authority" in all matters. Know when to ask the right questions and be able to test the answers. Your greater knowledge within any group is the freedom to rely on the other members and respect their input.
However, this is different than trying to find answers that will make everyone happy or allowing the personal opinions of anyone to overshadow what is best for the group.
Over my many years of leading groups, I find that people join a group for many different reasons. Some join to learn, some join for community and meeting others of like-minded spirit. Some join for the energy they find working in a circle with others and some join to come together on and give honor to the Gods.
But, far and above, the number one reason I hear is FAMILY: the need to be accepted and comfortable with others who understand who they are, being a part of something greater than themselves.
As a High Priestess of a coven (Ravensgrove Coven) , I find that all of these reasons can all be good as long as there is also an understanding that your reasons may not be the same as the person standing next to you. Yet theirs are just as valid. That is as long as each member can work well with the other.
Nevertheless, problems can arise. Hurt feelings, anger and even jealousy. These must be dealt with as they happen, quickly, personally, privately and honestly. Discretion is honorable is such matters. We are not children who need to be scolded and made example of, nor should be pick sides. We are adults and Pagans; therefore, we are to use wisdom and consideration, not the emotion of the moment.
Once a problem is seen, it is the leader’s place to handle it quickly and as they believe best for all concerned. Those with experience within a group will tell you, when there is any discourse in any group; working together in circle or for magickal intention is not going to happen. Anytime, whether in circle, in life, home or job, you try to work with someone you are angry at … you know it will not succeed. Unpleasant or angry energy is not going to give you any positive results, only negative. Plus all those who have been working within this circle have been drawing the negative energy in and that is detrimental. There must be harmony within any circle, be it for magickal working, healing or energy work. This is for the positive nature of the circle and all its members.
It is not always easy being the leader, since with every decision there will be some that are going to be disappointed once it is made. That is why on matters of great importance you, as the leader, may want to ask your group to vote or give their options on certain issues. Yet, when all is said and done, you will be the one making the finial decision. Good or bad, you will also be the one held accountable, and that is because it is your responsibly to make all decisions in the best interest of the group. On the group as a whole, not your friends, not even your family but for the group as a whole.
I have found that whenever you have more than one person in a room you are generally going to have more than one opinion. The more people in a group the more likely that someone is going to disagree with the decisions made. It is nature; we all think different and have different concerns and outlooks. But when all is said and done, it is the leader’s decision that must be final.
Once the decision is made, everyone within the group must uphold the decision, whether they were in agreement with it or not. This is part of the trust you promised, and gave, to your group and your leader when you joined the group. This is the trust that any decision that would be made would be in the best interest of the group as a whole. Remember: ‘in perfect love and perfect trust’ is not always as easy to implement as it is to say.
Everyone should try to understand that it could be difficult for any leader to continually deal with internal problems between members. If you are having a problem with a member, remember most likely, the group leader is hearing your problem from two sides.
Dealing with constant turmoil can spiritually and personally drain anyone, even a group leader. For some, it can leave them wondering if they should keep the group going if it is a continued drain on energy and not the energy building force any group should be. Sometimes people forget that even your group leader is human, with human emotions and limits. Unfortunately, this is the reason so many new groups fail and the leaders walk away.
*Therefore, here are some of possible problems within any group. To be aware of them may help you or your group to avoid them.
One extremely detrimentally problem within any group is a lack of honest communication. There is nothing more frustrating to any leader than hearing that people are afraid to talk to them. Or that people are worried the leader will get mad. How can you work to heal or fix problems within a group if those within it don’t know that they have one?
Then there is what my Great Grandmother would call the chicken pen syndrome. Where those in a group believe that it is somehow better to talk to someone else about what they consider wrong, or their worries within the group, rather than talk to leader.
If you cannot talk to your leader, directly and clearly, then you cannot trust them. Trust is one of the greatest parts of any group leader’s job. They are your clergy unto your traditions as a whole, so where are you without trust.
When someone feels they need to talk to someone else as a go between with their group leader, this is not only detrimental to everyone in the group but also extremely upsetting to your group leader once they find out. And they will find out, since people love to talk. And if you have a group of people who love to gossip and back bite, do you really think that what you say is going to be confidential?
Any group leader is both a human and an emotional being. They get hurt, angry, sad, and happy. Sometimes within their emotions they will say more than they should. It is called being human. So, you need to remember they are the representation of the Deities, but they are still very human.
A.) When anyone has a problem with anyone or something they believe is wrong, then talk to your group leader.
B.) If you have a problem with someone, then you need to privately talk to that person and handle it. If that does not work then, and only then, you go to the group leader and then you both go and talk with who ever your issue is with together.
C.) If someone comes to you and wants to talk about anyone else (including your group leader) … you to tell the other person that you will not listen (and you need not to listen.) Tell them they need to talk to the person with whom they have a problem. If it is a group concern then they need to talk to your group leader.
D.) Once something is over, finished, or fixed, stop rekindling the fire by rehashing it over and over with others. This just brings it all up again and causes everyone to think they need to pick sides when there are no sides to pick. When it is done, let it be done and put it behind you.
Don’t expect the world when you see childish behavior that seems to come to every group at sometime. Remind each other of the reasons you are there. The friendship, community and energy of being in a group of like-minded souls.
Don’t get disheartened because you think the group should be all about magick or spell work or whatever. There needs to be a balance in all things. Energy work, magick, blessings and power work. Remember your Rituals are a time of honor and worship first, then a time of magickal and energy work.
Let us never forget the honor we give unto our Deities first.
Many groups set up a round table just to deal with any concerns that might arise within the group. It is a time set aside to talk and work together and decide what is best for everyone in the group. You have an open forum for discussion that everyone has a change to speak up and out if need be. But once you leave the table the issues are closed.
Again, once it is over. Let it be truly over. Once a group has made a decision together even if it was not what you wanted, the vote is made and you need to honor the vote.
Everyone must be willing to completely clean away the old rubbish, or as some say, ‘DRAMA’ of the past, and leave it behind or it will destroy any group.
Respect the elders. Teach the young. Cooperate with the pack.
Play when you can. Hunt when you must. Rest in between.
Share your affections. Voice your feelings and Leave your mark.
Blessing be unto all,
High Priestess of Ravensgrove Coven
Copyright: Copyright © 02252009
High Priestess of Ravensgrove Coven
Greenfield, IN area
Location: Greenfield, Indiana
Author's Profile: To learn more about Lady Abigail - Click HERE
Other Articles: Lady Abigail has posted 75 additional articles- View them?
Other Listings: To view ALL of my listings: Click HERE
Email Lady Abigail... (Yes! I have opted to receive invites to Pagan events, groups, and commercial sales)
Web Site Content (including: text - graphics - html - look & feel)
Copyright 1997-2014 The Witches' Voice Inc. All rights reserved
Note: Authors & Artists retain the copyright for their work(s) on this website.
Unauthorized reproduction without prior permission is a violation of copyright laws.
Website structure, evolution and php coding by Fritz Jung on a Macintosh G5.
Any and all personal political opinions expressed in the public listing sections (including, but not restricted to, personals, events, groups, shops, Wrenâ€™s Nest, etc.) are solely those of the author(s) and do not reflect the opinion of The Witchesâ€™ Voice, Inc. TWV is a nonprofit, nonpartisan educational organization.
Sponsorship: Visit the Witches' Voice Sponsor Page for info on how you
can help support this Community Resource. Donations ARE Tax Deductible.
The Witches' Voice carries a 501(c)(3) certificate and a Federal Tax ID.
Mail Us: The Witches' Voice Inc., P.O. Box 341018, Tampa, Florida 33694-1018 U.S.A.
of The World
NOTE: The essay on this page contains the writings and opinions of the listed author(s) and is not necessarily shared or endorsed by the Witches' Voice inc.
The Witches' Voice does not verify or attest to the historical accuracy contained in the content of this essay.
All WitchVox essays contain a valid email address, feel free to send your comments, thoughts or concerns directly to the listed author(s).