Student Turned Teacher by Default
Article ID: 13677
Age Group: Adult
Days Up: 1,375
Times Read: 1,606
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Author: Vistara Etain
Posted: March 7th. 2010
Times Viewed: 1,606
Over the years I have had the privilege of working with many pagans and wiccans who walk all different paths and it seems that although at the beginning of my path I seemed to take to certain aspects of energy work “naturally” and therefore instead of being the student somehow my roll switched to teacher.
Not that I’m objecting, I love helping people and working with people and just because I am helping someone by being a guide of sorts, I still learn a wealth of information from those who come to me for advice and help. It spurs me to learn about what they are interested in and helps me become a more “rounded” teacher.
Maybe this is an unorthodox way of doing things, but it works for me. I’ve never been one for the rigid rituals and planned out functions. I love entertaining and will invite people over for dinner and meditation and I may plan the evening but mostly just go with the flow not eyeing the clock to make sure things run according to plan. I like a relaxed environment and I want those I work with to feel comfortable.
Lest I digress… I say I’m a teacher by default because of many things. Not just the moment noted above which was one of many similar events that have played out in my life. I believe I am a natural born leader. Not in the sense that I must have people follow me, it just happens. Either it’s my personality or some type of pull that brings people to my doorstep to ask me for help. I try to make myself available for them if I can spare the energy and the time.
When I found the beginning of my path (tripped over the rock of life and fell into the bushes) I looked ahead the path lay before me and it was beautiful, thereby I decide to walk it to see where it leads. I come from that long line of “Christians” who realized that there was something wrong with the previously chosen path. It seemed to have nothing I wanted, then over the course of time I realized that there was this strange feeling and hearing in the back of my head what people actually thought of me (I wasn’t exactly the model child) . These feelings continued to amplify till I finally felt like I was going insane.
I was introduced to drugs by a boyfriend and found that it hid those feelings and thoughts; I was able to attend church without feeling those feelings anymore and would sit there and snicker throughout the services. But at least I didn’t have to “hear” the negative thoughts from other people. Now let us fast forward a bit to the beginning of my pagan path.
After I got clean and started to again pursue a spiritual fulfillment, I started by going back to the church I grew up in. This lasted for about seven or eight months, until I had a clear enough head to realize that I truly did not belong there. I was also fortunate enough to find a sponsor who gave me the option to pursue whatever felt right. Those who are familiar with the 12 steps of recovery will relate a little more to this part than others. I was working on my 3rd step with my sponsor “Came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity”. She wanted me to present her with an artistic representation of my higher power.
This was a very interesting request. Most people who I knew did this step by answering a ton of questions and giving their responses on it. Nope, I was to come up with something. She didn’t care what so long as it was “artistic”. So pulling from the one thing that processed a lot for me as I was going through the first few months in a recovery center… I went back to my solace… poetry.
To this day my 3rd step poem has a lot of meaning to me. It is just as powerful now as it was when I first wrote it, and over time I realized that the words that I put down that day would awaken the energies that would eventually set me on my path. From that day I would come across several people, who at first would be as a mentor to me to teach me something but ending up turning around and being the student who in some strange course of events would begin asking me about things instead of the other way around.
I’ve been of service in a recovery program for several years; I took on organizing October Festivals and took panels into the jails and other institutions for 5 years just to talk with people about I changed my life. I looked at it as an opportunity to help people the way I was helped. It was natural for me. “Easy” if you will.
Along the path I have had the opportunity of people who have crossed it, merged with it, pulled away from it, but in all the history of the pathways of life, mine remains just as beautiful to me today as it was when I first stumbled out of the bushes. My only fear about being a teacher is that I don’t know enough… I have allowed the power of meditation and mentors and reading material assist me along the way, but in all I feel that there is a deeper knowledge I tap into. Maybe that is what those people seek… perhaps that is what they want the ability to find for themselves. If I can help one person tap into that deeper oracle, one more pagan find the beginning of their fantastic journey. Then I know I’ve done what was intended of me.
Today I am a Reiki Master Teacher; I hold meditations at my home for those who seek the peace of mind even for a little while. I offer my assistance and my advice to those who ask for it. I am here as a guide only; I offer my assistance for those souls in need of it. My goal is to learn what I can from this journey, make friends and celebrate life. I offer what knowledge I have and invite others to do the same. Perhaps in time we will all have the strength to step up as a leader/teacher but be humble enough to still be a student.
Location: Cloverdale, Indiana
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