Witchvox Article

Author: Bronwen Forbes [a WitchVox Sponsor]
Posted: February 21st. 2010
Times Viewed: 10,720

A couple years ago I attended a Pagan pride celebration as a workshop presenter. I won�t mention the name of the city, but will tell you it was in the southern part of the country � which means that even at the end of September the temperature was expected to hover near one hundred degrees by the middle of the afternoon�s events. Consequently I dressed my family, including my then 18-month-old daughter, in shorts and t-shirts. Silly me, I thought the attire was perfectly appropriate for the heat and the event.

Apparently I did not get the memo that �appropriate attire� for a beastly hot Pagan Pride event was flowing skirts (at least for the females) , glitter, and faerie wings and/or fuzzy cat ear headbands. Ordinarily this wouldn�t bother me, but a few days after the event I received a nasty email from one of the other attendees wanting to know how I *dared* show my face, much less present a workshop when I clearly wasn�t �Pagan enough� (the e-mailer�s words) to be there. My fellow attendee even went so far as to ask me how dare I call myself Pagan.

Ever since then I�ve spent a lot of time looking at my fellow festival or Pagan Pride attendees, comparing my appearance to theirs. Shallow? Yes. A sign of low self-esteem? Maybe, but I do it anyway. And what I�ve discovered is that, for the most part, I just don�t look particularly Pagan.

For one thing, I recently cut my hair after several decades of wearing it mid-back length in an effort to look more professional for my post-college job search (it didn�t work, and now I�m kinda stuck with short hair, but that�s another story) . Worse, I�ve even allowed my daughter to have hers cut just as short � and what kind of Pagan mom allows her child of either gender to have above-the-shoulder-length hair? It seems to be an unspoken rule that Pagan women have long hair. Does short hair make me not �Pagan enough�? *I* don�t think so, but judging by some of the looks I receive when I�m out in Pagan public, I�m guessing some people do.

I also prefer baggy jeans over Indian print skirts, t-shirts (admittedly ones with folk music, Celtic or Pagan motifs, or plain old-fashioned tie-dye) over peasant blouses, sneakers over sandals (Birkenstocks excepted) , daily showers over regular patchouli oil spritzes, and the only person in my family who owns a fuzzy cat-ear headband is my daughter. I also wear my religion-identifying necklaces tucked inside my clothes unless I�m in ritual. Not only am I in danger of ending up on an episode of �What Not To Wear, � I could be ticketed by the Pagan fashion police any day now!

I heard a story once (and I can�t remember the source, to my chagrin) from someone who attended an indoor Pagan festival like Arisia or Pantheacon and wore business casual clothes � khaki pants and a button-down shirt � one day. Sad to say, this person received a lot of odd looks, and even reported that fellow attendees were very cool and standoffish, giving definite �You don�t belong here� looks. The next day, according to the story, the attendee appeared in more Pagan-y attire. Needless to say, the reaction of the rest of the conferees was much more warm and welcoming. If we as a religious movement believe that one of our tenets is Respect Another�s Path, the standoffish Pagans at this event were clearly the ones who were not �Pagan enough� � despite their attire.

Speaking of paths, I also started to take a very close look at my own � something I was also asked about at that same Pagan Pride day. Apparently my reluctance to answer (topic for another essay: where I come from, asking someone specifically about their path is usually considered rude) and my not-very-eloquent answer wasn�t good enough. My angry e-mailer took me to task for that, too. I guess compared to an Asa Tru Corellian Reconstructionist (the e-mailer, near as I could tell) , yes, my spiritual path is probably pretty dull.

But who is to say which path is �Pagan enough� and which path is not? If I serve a specific dog-connected deity by caring for and training my beagle, is that more or less a Pagan activity than organizing a weekly drumming circle? What if I�m a pretty decent dog owner/trainer and a lousy drummer? Does that make me not �Pagan enough�? It shouldn�t. But sometimes it feels like it does.

I have to admit that I�ve accused others of not being �Pagan enough� in the past. Back when I lived on the East Coast, ran or co-ran a major Pagan festival, led a coven, attended the monthly Pagan coffeehouse/concert on a regular basis, and held office in the local Pagan umbrella organization (that oversaw the major festival and coffeehouse/concert) I often thought that anyone who was not as active in the community as I was couldn�t possibly be �Pagan enough.� I was convinced of this�until I moved away from the East Coast to the Midwest � a part of the country that has a much lower concentration of Pagans than what I was used to. I literally had to rethink my definition of �Pagan enough� overnight. When there is no festival to organize, when there is no coffeehouse to attend or community offices to run for, is Bronwen still even Pagan, much less �Pagan enough�?

Of course the Pagans I then met who didn�t include so many � if any � open activities in their spiritual life probably wondered the same thing about me, only in reverse. After all, just because I�d been invoking the four directions for decades didn�t mean I had the first clue how to actually *use* those directions to, say, drive to someone�s house (�Turn north at Vermont Street.� �Is that left or right?� �It�s north.�) . I got lost a lot. And which, ultimately, is the more Pagan activity � attend a concert in a city with too much light pollution to see the sky or spend five minutes in the middle of a small-town street admiring every star in the galaxy because you can actually *see* them? Either way you choose, you won�t be �Pagan enough� for someone. Trust me.

Just because a person chooses to dress or participate to a different standard than you�re used to or you think appropriate, stop for a moment and wonder why. I�ve worn loose, flowing skirts and peasant blouses and, yes, patchouli oil and glitter at Pagan gatherings back when I was a) single, b) child-free and c) younger. I can still �dress the part� with the best of them � when I choose to, and sans faerie wings. But the previously-mentioned Pagan Pride Day was in a rather large city a couple hours from the small town I was currently living in, and my family had made plans to do some �big city� shopping after the event. I know I�m not the only Pagan who shops at Sam�s Club and Petsmart, but I see no need to advertise my religion in these places. Does this make me not �Pagan enough�?

In short, my fellow Pagans, if you�re an Asa Tru Correllian Reconstructionist, don�t snub the Neo-Wiccans you meet (conversely, Neo-Wiccans, don�t snub the Asa Tru Correllian Reconstructionists) . If you�re comfortable wearing a suit to ritual, it doesn�t mean you�re any less a Pagan than the person next to you wearing a black crushed velvet cape. The only person who can judge whether you�re �Pagan enough� is you. With confirmation from your God (s) , of course!

ABOUT...

Bronwen Forbes

Location: Bloomington, Indiana

Website: www.myspace.com/bronwenf

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