Articles/Essays From Pagans
June 16th. 2013 ...
How To Stay Spiritual Amidst This Chaos?
Hearing The Music And Dancing The Dance
A Tale of the Wood
June 9th. 2013 ...
The Nature of Sacrifice
The Magick of Buildings
Start your own Pagan Church in Canada - A Detailed Guide
June 2nd. 2013 ...
Maiden, Mother, Who?! (A Discussion of the Triple Goddess)
Gods Who Live In My House
Why the 'Redneck Pagan'?
Among the Greenwod - An Interview with Raven Grimassi
May 26th. 2013 ...
So You Think You've Found a Teacher...
Learning To Live Your Own Life
Raising Personal Magickal Energy for Spellwork
Casting The Wiccan Circle
May 19th. 2013 ...
The Role of Identity in Magic
Talking Trash? It's a Dirty Subject but Waste Happens.
My Wiccan Journey
13 Keys: The Victory of Netzach
May 12th. 2013 ...
Pagan Studies I: How Should We Define Modern Paganism?
The Third Path
Nothing Special... Part Two
May 5th. 2013 ...
The Value of Multicultural Awareness
Put Your Back Into It (Our Lady of the Sacred Honey Badger)
Moon Musings, Planetary Preponderances and Red Lipped Bat Fish
April 28th. 2013 ...
Lessons from the Lessers: Iris
April 21st. 2013 ...
Taken By The Goddess: The Crescent Moon Tattoo
The Gods/Being Godbothered
To Be A Witch
The Archetypes are Gods: Re-godding the Archetypes
April 14th. 2013 ...
On The Inclusion of Children
'Wand Fun' With Grandson
Lessons from a Baby
Lessons of Freedom: On Divinity and Healing
April 7th. 2013 ...
Out of the Broom Closet... Sorta
A Journey Through the Witches Tarot
History and Science Behind Numerology
March 31st. 2013 ...
What is the Magickal Self?
Ethics and Numerology
March 24th. 2013 ...
Keystones of the Sacred Land
March 17th. 2013 ...
Why Some Pagans and Witches Still Hide
Witch Heritage 101: What Happens When Witch Haters Joke about anti-Witch Films
I'm Not a Broom. So What's with the Closet?
March 10th. 2013 ...
Top Ten Stupid Things I Did as a New Pagan: Part 3
Hunting for the Real Witch in Film
The Collective Shadow
Lies - The Opposite of Truth
March 3rd. 2013 ...
Grounding and Releasing Negative Energy
A Patchwork of Magick
February 24th. 2013 ...
Top Ten Stupid Mistakes I Made as a New Pagan (Part Two)
February 17th. 2013 ...
Top Ten Stupid Mistakes I made as a New Pagan... Part One
Gardening with Crystal Energies
A Call from the Ancestors
Moon Musings, Planetary Preponderances and Black Water Snakes
February 10th. 2013 ...
We Are the Weirdos, Mister: A Completely Uncool Story of Origin
February 3rd. 2013 ...
"I'll Grind Your Bones to Make my Bread": Pagans and Animal Husbandry
The Role of Contemporary Culture in Magic
A Pagan Response to Endangered Earth
The Great Mother's Gift, Heinlein, and the Nature of Squirrels
13 Keys: The Glory of Hod
January 27th. 2013 ...
Why We Do Need Wicca
The Cosmos In the Coffee Shop
On Travel Spirituality and Magick
January 20th. 2013 ...
Beloved Backs and How to Save Them
Building or Burning Bridges?
Plants, Magic and Intuition
Plagiarism - How It Harms Our Community
January 13th. 2013 ...
Ramblings of a Pagan Guy: Stupid Clichés
The Magick and Power of Words
Aging Is Not Easy
The Riddle of Who We Are?
January 6th. 2013 ...
Wicca v Witchcraft
NOTE: For a complete list of articles related to this chapter... Visit the Main Index FOR this section.
Finding a Good Fit
Article ID: 14205
Age Group: Adult
Days Up: 989
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Posted: October 3rd. 2010
Times Viewed: 2,146
Being part of the leadership of a Wiccan Circle is an interesting thing. Not only are you in service to the God and Goddess, you are in service to your other Circle members and most importantly to yourself. For both the Circle that I am involved with now and the one before it, we have had a listing on Witchvox. We do this for a few different reasons. One of them is that we are proud of who we are. Another is so that those seeking a group or a path are able to get in contact with us. This leads me on to the theme of this short little article.
Our group gets all kinds of people who contact us through our listing on Witchvox, and through our groups Facebook page. Some of these folks are just people looking for help on their spiritual path, some of them are just curious about Wicca or Paganism, and some are truly seeking a group to circle with, and to become a part of. It is these latter folks I would like to address.
It never ceases to amaze me when we get a first contact from people saying they would love to become a part of our family. I think “seriously, you have read a very brief description of our group, not to mention you don’t know us, you don’t know how we circle or what we are about for that matter. Yet you blindly would love to join our family and circle with us”. Not to mention the fact we don’t know you or what you are about. But it is ok because we are all good trusting Pagans and we will welcome you with open arms.
Well my friends, it just does not work that way.
Here are a few tips I would like to give, not only for folks looking for a group to circle with, but for groups interested in new people.
First of all, if you are seeking out a group and do so via an ad on Witchvox or some other similar way, don’t be surprised if it takes a few days to get a response back. Remember that the folks who are running the group or circle more than likely have a real life just like you do, and while the group that they are involved with may be a huge part of their life, it is probably not the only thing they are doing.
Secondly do not be surprised if you exchange much e-mail with a group you’re interested in before they ever invite you to meet with them. If you’re a seeker of a group and they invite you to come circle with them before ever meeting you in person, in my opinion that should throw up a red flag for you. Always meet a prospective group or member before circling with them.
Thirdly, and this should go without saying - meet them in a public place like a coffee shop. It is just not a smart idea as a group to invite someone you do not know to meet you in your own home. By that same logic, as an individual never go to someone’s home that you do not know. My Priestess and I often will meet new people interested in our Circle at a Starbucks or at one of the Pagan Picnics that happen here locally. Do not be surprised if, much like the e-mails, a group wants to meet with you several times in person before ever inviting you to attend one of their Circles.
Ask questions when meeting new folks. This goes not only for individuals but groups as well. We always ask new people that are interested in our Circle, even if they claim to have been on a Wiccan path for years, what they know or think they know about Wicca? What books have they read on Wicca and Paganism? How did they come to be on this path? What groups if any have they been a part of before? What is their personal practice like?
If you are an individual seeking a group to Circle with ask about the group’s practice. What is expected of members? How often do they meet? Do they circle skyclad, or robed? Do they have teaching Circles outside of ritual? If you are gay or lesbian ask about the group’s feelings toward gay and lesbian people. You may think in this day and age of enlightenment that it should not make a difference what one’s sexual orientation is, but I know that there are still Circles out there that will not admit gay and lesbian people to their ranks. They prefer male-female couples that are already partners, or are willing to find a working partner. Same goes if you are transgendered or transsexed, ask about the group’s feelings and way of working.
As a seeker to a group you should never feel like the group is trying to give you a “hard sell” to join. That should send up a red flag for you too, or at least it would for me. Also if you get to the meeting stage with a group and feel things are not right, you do NOT have to join that group even thou they may ask you too. Also remember that a group may meet with you many times, invite you to attend one of their Circles and still not ask you to join their ranks. If this happens don’t be disappointed, and remember that it probably happened for a reason that is not personal. When you find the right group that is a fit for you, you and the group will know.
Of course these are only a few of the questions that you can and should ask, and there are many more dynamics to finding a group to Circle with, and to groups finding individuals, than I have covered in this brief article. Most often times personal chemistry is the final determining factor for what ever the end result of a search may be.
My point with this post was to educate, and I hope that I have a little. Remember when you do enter the Circle, be it with a group of seekers or by yourself, you enter it in perfect love and perfect trust. Make sure you can do that with those whom you choose to Circle with.
Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
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