At the Crossroads
Article ID: 13442
Age Group: Adult
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Posted: July 26th. 2009
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It had been the summer from hell. One of our daughters, aged 14, had met her teenaged years with all of the rage and gusto of a swirling, spitting Tasmanian devil. Each day brought new adventures and heartbreaks with this child. She is a true Leo--bright and shining like the sun, a risk taker, strong willed, and never, ever prone to mediocrity!
I, on the other hand, am a very passive gentle spirit. Although I am her parent, I quite often would find myself conned, cornered, or just plain whamboozled into letting this child run her will right over me. I guess I am too naďve in this regard and always thought, “This time she’s telling the truth. This time she’ll be trustworthy, etc”.
A year into this behavior found my daughter in hot water both with our local SRS (Social Rehabilitation Services) as well as Juvenile Criminal Court. And I--well, I was found at the end of my rope, devoid of any emotional energy whatsoever.
One day my daughter and I were leaving for a visit with her community correction officer when I noticed this figure of a woman standing where our homes sidewalk met with the main sidewalk along the road. She was an older woman, slightly stooped, and with long, straight, beautiful hair pulled back into a shining silver ponytail.
Does she want something? Why doesn’t she come up the walk to see us?
Instead, she stood at that intersection, waving us over to her. Could it be..?
We walked over to the woman and stood before her. With her arms folded across her chest she sized us both up with her quick, steely brown eyes. First myself, then my daughter. Finally, with a grand sweep of her arm, she addressed me like thus:
“You have asked for a Crone to watch over this child and I have been faithful aid you, my daughter. But first there are some things that I would like to share with you.
Sometimes raising children can be like raising the dairy goats that you are so fond of. You have learned that a good, strong panel fence is a necessity around these creatures to keep them safe from harm. Electric wire is not of much use--after a few startling zaps, they learn how to just charge the fence and bring the whole thing down. Woven wire is a joke, you have learned; for the creatures will lean upon the wire so much that they will eventually wear it down. They will be able to just walk over the fallen fencing, laughing as they go.”
She then turned to my daughter, shook a long, slim finger in her face, and continued, “The fence is put around in love--out of a desire to protect something so very precious inside. We know that the creatures cannot understand the perils that lie outside the fence. We understand that these creatures are risk takers and could hurt themselves on unknown terrain. We know that there are plants that could be toxic for curious little goats to eat, and we also know that there are malevolent creatures that live beyond your property that could devour a little goat in one SNAP!
The fence is not a punishment or a prison, but an appropriate boundary set about in love.
Notice how the goats play about in their yard--they have complete freedom within the fence (howbeit in “harming none”, ) they can dance and leap, yell and play, even dye their fur any color they like--if they so choose! All things are permissible as long as they respect the boundaries of the fence.”
My daughter raised a single wary eyebrow as she listened. Who was this curious old woman who talked about fences, goats…and yet seemed to know so much?
“Now Mama, back to you.” She took both my hands in hers and pulled me closer. “You are a good Mama, and I know that you love your daughter, but it is time for you to really incorporate some tough love into this relationship. It is called tough love for two reasons--one; you must take a tough, assertive stand with your dissident teen and two; I know that being unflinching and strong during this time is incredibly tough on you.
But you need to. Your daughter needs for you to. No matter how she reacts, yells, curses; whatever fury she may level against you. She is going to charge any fence that you put around her. Not only that, she will attempt to wear it down, leap over it, crawl under it, and dig out an escape tunnel.
One of your most important jobs right now Mama is to keep this fence in place. Your daughter’s survival depends upon it. Those times that she fights the fence the hardest are the times she needs it most!
Mama, you cannot “fall back” into the confusion and lack of experience of the Maiden. You must press into your Crone energy--it is right before you; you must lean forward and grasp upon this wisdom.
A Crone is one who has entered into her wisdom. By reason of experience and skill, she is adept at sizing up situations and knowing what is most likely needed. She has moved beyond the need to please and appease--she is more so a leader and no longer the diplomat. She trusts her instincts and wisdom and is ready to make a strong stand, no matter how greatly the popular opinion may differ.
She then turned to my daughter, took her hands, and pulled her close--almost an embrace.
“My little one, sometimes when one errs, their loved ones simply turn them over to their own devices, hoping that through the eventual pain and suffering they will “hit bottom” and gain wisdom.
Some religious people hand their errants over to “Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so as that their soul may be saved”.
Your Mother has cried out to the Universe to send a Crone to watch over you, her daughter, when she cannot. To be her eyes, her ears, and her heart during those times you are apart. Remember this: A Crone will not tolerate much for nonsense. A Crone can see something for what it truly is and cannot be conned, charmed, threatened, or manipulated. A Crone will rap your knuckles, thump your head, and (to be quite frank) Kick your Ass. But remember this! A Crone is also a Grandmother, your Grandmother, and although some things may seem unpleasant at the time, all things are done out of Love.
I am Hecate. I stand at the crossroads of your lives. Think carefully before you decide which path you should take. One will bring my constant discipline, the other my grace and strength.
Your life is a gift, and you are greatly beloved by the Lord, Lady, and spirit beings of Light. All of the Love, Strength and Grace of the Universe is available to you at all times--just ask! There are many things to reach forth and choose from in this world--please choose the good”.
"If everyone isn't beautiful, then no one is"~ (Andy Warhol)
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