Articles/Essays From Pagans
September 14th. 2014 ...
GOD AND ME (A Pagan's Personal Reply to the New Atheists)
September 7th. 2014 ...
Deer Man- A Confounding Mystery
August 31st. 2014 ...
Coven vs. Solitary
A Strange Waking Dream
August 24th. 2014 ...
Thoughts on Cultural and Spiritual Appropriation
The Pagan Cleric
A Gathering of Sorcerers (A Strange Tale)
August 17th. 2014 ...
To Know, to Will, to Dare...
On Grief: Beacons of Light in the Shadows
August 10th. 2014 ...
As a Pagan, How Do I Represent My Path?
The Power of the Gorgon
August 3rd. 2014 ...
Are You a Natural Witch?
You Have to Believe We Are Magic...
July 27th. 2014 ...
Did I Just Draw Down the Moon?
Astrological Ages and the Great Astrological End-Time Cycle
The New Jersey Finishing School for Would-Be Glamour Girls and Boys
July 20th. 2014 ...
Being an Underage Wiccan
Greed, Power, Witches, and the Inquisition
Malleus Maleficarum - The Hammer of the Witches
Thoughts on Ghost Hunting
July 13th. 2014 ...
A World Of Witchcraft: Belief Is Only The Beginning...
From Christian to Pagan (Part III)
My Wiccan Ways...
July 6th. 2014 ...
Keys: Opening the Portals into Other Worlds
The Lore of the Door
Leaves of Love
June 29th. 2014 ...
What Does the Bible Say About Witches and Pagans?
Are You My Familiar ?
Invocations of the God and Goddess
Everything's Alright, Yes: Mary Magdalene
Results Magic and the Moral Compass
June 22nd. 2014 ...
Witchcraft vs. Religion
Christianity and Paganism: Why All Of the Fighting?
June 15th. 2014 ...
Becoming Your Own Wise One
Canine Familiars: Role of the Alpha
June 8th. 2014 ...
Moral Relativism and Wicca
Paganism in Cebu, Philippines
June 1st. 2014 ...
Rediscovering My Pagan Faith
13 Keys: The Wisdom of Chokmah
May 25th. 2014 ...
Some Differences Between Priestesses and Witches: Duties and Trials
Awakening to our Celestial Nature (A Free 8-Day Course)
How to Work With Your Muse
10 Things I Love about my Sacred Work as a Public Witch
May 18th. 2014 ...
Finding the God (From Christian to Pagan -Part II)
The Medea Within Us All
Visits from the Departed
May 11th. 2014 ...
Breaking the Law of Return
Karma and Sin
Mental and Emotional Balance- I CAN Have it!
The Sin Concept
May 4th. 2014 ...
When to Let Go...When to Hold On
Goddessy: Sorceress Speaks On Beauty
Embracing my Inner Goddess through Belly Dance
April 27th. 2014 ...
Mental Illness in the Pagan Community
World Crisis: Awaken Witches and Take Action
Being Pagan, Being Bipolar
"Earth Day" Is A Pagan Conspiracy!
April 20th. 2014 ...
Six Rules for Safer Pagan Sex: A Guide
Safety: Let's Shift Our Focus
Morality and Controversy in the Craft
A Pagan Perspective on Easter
The Star Child
April 13th. 2014 ...
Magick and Consequences: My Experience with Sigils
Being a Worrisome Witch
Don't Talk Yourself Out of Trying Something New!
What to Do When the Spell/Ritual Flops
April 6th. 2014 ...
The Elements and the Quarters
Dark Moon Scry: Aries 2014
How the Wheel of the Year Works “Down Under”
13 Keys: The Understanding of Binah
March 30th. 2014 ...
Manifesting the Dream: On Religious Organizations, Pagan Abbeys and our Order
True Meaning of Community
NOTE: For a complete list of articles related to this chapter... Visit the Main Index FOR this section.
Death in the Afternoon...
Article ID: 14806
Age Group: Adult
Days Up: 809
Times Read: 2,442
RSS Views: 15,267
Posted: July 1st. 2012
Times Viewed: 2,442
I took a brief walk after a working lunch. The sun was high in the sky and the air was cool. It was a beautiful September day in the Berkshire Mountains -- I'm new to the area and used any opportunity to get outside to help myself adjust from beach living to mountain life.
I walked down the hill from the main building where I work and hadn’t gone too far when there, to my right, on a wire overhead was a red-tailed hawk looking this way and that. I stopped and watched the wind lift his tail feathers. He stretched and showed me his white belly and fluffy legs. He — or she — was awesome in structure. He looked strong and powerful.
As he sat, he moved his head from side-to-side. He turned once to look at me as I cautiously took a seat on the low wooden rail along the road, then turned his attention back to the tall brush, tangled weeds and wild flowers that framed the woods. I sat contentedly in the sun, thrilled to have this opportunity to be so close to such a creature.
I studied the way he slid his head across his back and tried to move my head, gliding across my shoulders, the same way. Many Taijiquan [Tai chi] teachers [myself included] study and imitate the movements of animals. Some say the ancient martial art of Taijiquan was created after Wudang Daoist master Zhang San Feng (12th C.) witnessed a fight between a crane and a snake.
My neck cracked in my efforts to mimic the hawk just as I began to hear little throaty chirping sounds come from the underbrush. It sounded like the noise squirrels make, not too loud though, and it didn’t sound alarmed — just a steady series of clicks and chirps. Suddenly the hawk spread his wings and dropped straight down into the brush like a stone falling from the sky. A terrible squealing commenced and I knew the hawk had caught something. I was struck, mouth open, by the sudden change from sightseeing on a lovely day to the wailing of an animal dying in the claws of a predator. The racket was awful, but it didn’t last longer than a minute, maybe two. It was heart wrenching.
I didn’t know what to do with myself. A city-girl for decades — I was curious, frightened, repulsed and paralyzed. Here was the truth of nature, not on television, and barely five feet in front of me. I didn’t know why this was happening for me to see, but I thought I’d best see it through to the end. Everything I see and experience is there for a reason. I didn't want to miss the message.
I slowly stepped closer to the underbrush. I could see the hawk’s white feathers and stopped. He was no more than three feet in front of me, barely concealed by dried grasses and weeds. I didn’t want to see blood. But I couldn’t not look. I stood still. The hawk looked at me the same way he had earlier, over his shoulder -- unafraid, unconcerned, unimpressed.
As I watched, he made a small jump and the captured creature came up with him in his talons. He was in a small clearing, now two feet from me. I could see the eye of the squirrel and the hawk’s talons on its belly. I didn’t see any blood, but the chest of the squirrel didn't move either.
The hawk kept squeezing his talons into the body beneath him— perhaps to make sure it wasn’t playing dead or to be certain it wouldn’t suddenly get up and run away. Again, the hawk fluttered his wings and hopped -- and the squirrel came up and down with him this time a few more inches closer to me.
The hawk was coming straight toward me, out of the brush and now, onto the mowed grass, into the open. This was more than I wanted to see. I was confused. I couldn’t fathom why the hawk was coming toward me, with his prey, his prize.
I thought of a time my house cat caught a mouse and brought it to me. What did they want me to see?
I continued to watch the hawk, two feet in front of me, in plain sight, without cover. As I pondered why the hawk was so undisturbed by my presence, my closeness, I suddenly realized he was not feeding. His lunch was getting cold. I didn’t understand.
The hawk and myself were frozen, transfixed. Paralyzed, nothing moving, our eyes locked. I'm not even sure if I was breathing.
In the next moment, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a woman — one of our guests at the retreat where I work — crossing toward me into the parking lot off to my left. When she got close enough, she looked where I was looking and stopped. She saw the hawk.
“I don’t think you want to see this, ” I turned and said to her.
She looked from me to the hawk, her mouth wide open. “You’re right." Then she said: "Has it got something there?”
“A squirrel, ” I replied. “It made a horrible racket when he caught it.”
The woman grimaced and said "thank you." She turned and walked in the other direction, toward the main building.
When I looked back at the hawk at my feet, he was slowly pulling up with his beak on a long string of something red from the side of the squirrel. I turned and followed the guest up the hill back toward the center. I've been out nearly every day. I have not seen the hawk since.
I still don't know what to make of the incident, don't know what it means, or why it was so intensely personal to me. I know the meaning will come, in time.
In September of this year I moved from the beach near Rhode Island to the Berkshire Mountains in Massachusettes.
Copyright: All rights reserved JA Sommar
Location: Pawcatuck, Rhode Island
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Bio: I am a solitary witch, practicing for over 15 years and a writer, editor, herbalist, healer, clinically trained Chaplain and counselor. I am also a taijiquan [Tai Chi] instructor.
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