Solitary or Covener?
Article Specs |
Article ID: 2977
Age Group: Adult
Days Up: 6,893
Times Read: 8,546
Author: Agona Darkeagle
Posted: September 3rd. 2000
Times Viewed: 8,546
You've been practicing for a couple of years, studying even longer, and feel comfortable enough to wear a pentacle and wave your athame around in your backyard as your mother peers curiously out the kitchen window. Now you're ready for the group scene, right?
After I had been dropped from one clique my freshman year, I began to seek out those of like minds. Everyone does, whether consciously or subconsciously. I met a group of supposed "Pagans". Enthusiastically, we arranged to form a coven. Before I realized what I was doing, I had connected my mind and spirit with three people I hardly knew.
No books I had read at that point spoke of the connection one makes at initiation with his/her fellow coven-mates.
These strangers turned out to be drug addicts, and not particularly mentally stable or healthy. I tried to break it off right away. Whether imagined or real, I couldn't seem to separate myself from these people. They would grab me as I passed them in the hall and insist, "Oh, we must tell Agona! We can trust her, she's in our coven."
What did that have to do with why they got arrested last night?
While I scratched my head and pondered while the months passed by, I remember this one incident at the beginning of my junior year.
"Agona, I have a problem, " stated one friend during class, head down on the table, and moping quite miserably. "You know Robbie?"
"Yeah, " I answered casually, going about my business. Robbie was one of the members of the seriously misled coven. Well, at least until he dropped out of high school.
"He's cursed me."
I paused. "Riiiight." And I left the matter at that. I figured that my friend was probably exaggerating. Besides, Robbie never practiced seriously, and if he did "curse" my friend, it couldn't be anything all too serious.
One miserable week later, that same friend sat in front of me, crying his little heart out. So I sit down, rub his back, and asked for the entire story, as any good friend would do. Robbie, who happened to be homosexual, had a crush on my friend. Well, my friend also had a girlfriend. And Robbie made a public scene in front of this girlfriend with the curse. Not only that, he told everyone that my friend was gay and they were having a secret affair.
Whichever action actually made the most damage didn't matter. The curse, real or imagined, had an effect. As we all know, if one THINKS they are cursed, one will subconsciously allow bad things to happen to one's self which will make one feel as if one WAS cursed. And of course, the more bad things happen, the more cursed one thinks one is, and the more cursed one thinks one is, the more bad things happen. A vicious cycle, and one the proves the power of one's own thoughts.
Anyway, a situation which I had dismissed as silliness and hocus-pocus was turning out to be a very serious matter. To ease my friend's mind, I gave him a bottle of holy water and called up Robbie and gave him a piece of my mind. And that was that. The situation dissipated itself.
I've gotten off track, but the point of that story is that working in a group is not always a good thing. It depends on the group you're working with. And in all truth and honesty, I don't think teens ought to seek a group. I mean, yeah, it'll be fun to grab a group of like-minded friends together and dance under the moonlight, but as teens, we have to consider the fact that most of us haven't been practicing very long. And that some of us, not all of us, haven't really grasped the fact that labeling yourself a Pagan does not mean you ARE a Pagan unless you LIVE it! I mean, when I speak of hearing the wind speak or feeling the Earth beat beneath my feet, most people my age toss me a funny look and ask if I've seen a psychologist lately. And a very wise Pagan once told me, "Do not seek a teacher. When you are ready, the teacher will seek you." Which actually sounds like a Confucius saying, but hey! Whatever works.
Maybe my opinion is biased because I haven't found a decent group to work with. But I wince when I go to the message boards and see young Pagans posting messages like, "I want to be Wiccan! Is there a coven I can join?!" Want? Whatever happened to "I think, therefore I am?" or is that too philosophical for some simpletons? Perhaps I'm too harsh. But you don't see postings on the Christian message boards proclaiming with far too many exclamation marks than necessary, "I want to be Christian!" A group setting is not necessary! This is not Hollywood, folks!
My best acts of magicks are performed alone. Hey, wait, you're never alone! When you work with magick and divinity, the Goddess and the God are always with you to guide you and strengthen you. What better companions to magick than the gods themselves? When you open your eyes after whispering words of enchantments into the cool night air and see nothing but the silver of stars and moonlight, and hear nothing but your own breathing and the rustling of the wind . . . I tell you, nothing compares to that silence and the solitary knowledge that YOU have made something magickal happen. I'm sure a group has these moments too, but my point is that you don't need a group.
So keep studying. Keep learning. Being by yourself does NOT degrade the quality and experience. Prance about your backyard in a circle of candles waving your wand about and enjoy the funny looks neighbors give you as you invoke the Horned One. You're a teenager. Enjoy these years while they last. And if I sound melancholy, that's because I am. Now a senior in high school, I've realized that those past years could've been better spent.
Location: Hanover, Maryland
Author's Profile: To learn more about Agona Darkeagle - Click HERE
Bio: Agona Darkeagle is now a senior in high school, and boy, does she feel old! Between Sabbats and full moons, Agona is a Varsity cheerleader, a writer, and a hard-working student. And she wishes well to all those little ones just entering the Pagan scene.
Other Articles: Agona Darkeagle has posted 4 additional articles- View them?
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