Witchvox Article

Author: Shining Spider
Posted: June 5th. 2005
Times Viewed: 2,439

When we talk about personal responsibility - our training by parents, school, and society, from kindergarten to adulthood - we cover the basics: washing behind your ears, picking up after yourself, and not spending more money than you make. Not that we ever perfectly attain these goals; like everything else it is a balancing act. Right now my desk is a mess and my credit card debt is a bit more than I’d like to admit but these are things that we all work on in an effort to be not only self-sufficient members of society, but people who can truly contribute to the whole.

Often the parameters of the personal responsibility discussion are pretty tightly defined: there is a focus on income, food, dress, and housing. We often do not talk about how people connect with the community and what our personal responsibility to the community is, for our own wellbeing as well as the community’s health. To whittle down personal responsibility into ‘caring for oneself, and oneself alone’ is to cut the very tapestry of life down to one thread without concern for what might fray. If we do not have our community, what will happen when a part of our fabric wears away, due to a loss of job, the death of a family member, or just plain bad luck? We can instruct each other to grip our bootstraps with white-knuckled tenacity but, as a woman who has survived four layoffs and the loss of all family stability, I know it was the support of my community that put me on my feet again.

What does it mean, to the poor, to shout Personal Responsibility when they ask for help with food, shelter, or simply a moment of empathy? That mantra does not pay the bills, it does not fill the stomach, and it certainly does not feed the soul. However, a community center that provides counseling, a nearby food-bank, a local non-profit that helps people find affordable housing, all of these things encourage self-sufficiency and still show compassion for those in need. As humans we need encouragement and positive reinforcement without the accompaniment of condescending tones and pity. To have empathy and to treat the poor with dignity, if those goals are not enough, trigger the positive side-effect of acting as an enticement toward attaining the privilege of true ‘personal responsibility.’ I have seen individuals, so moved by the compassion others have provided, whom – once they were able – “gave back” more than they ever received. It is a true cycle of life: giving, taking, and acknowledging that energy exchange is never as simple as a simultaneous give/get.

As we invest time into ourselves, be it in our careers, our schooling, or our living space, we cannot deny that each effort sends a ripple throughout the universe. Whether or not I do a good job cleaning my apartment and whether or not I do a good job at my work affects other people. The same goes for how we interact within our religious community. If I simply choose to not answer the emails that come to me after I have an essay posted here on Witchvox, what ripple would that send? The message might be that I have the energy to write an article but not to interact with people on a one-on-one level. This could further extrapolate to: I like to hear myself talk, but Goddess forbid I listen and take part in a real conversation. This is not to suggest I must sacrifice every spare moment to answer correspondence, to the detriment of other aspects of my life, but it acknowledges that if I have something worth writing in an essay, does it not also need further discussion? Yes, there are times when I have no advice to give or the questioner’s perspective does not match mine when it comes to life, magic, and everything in-between. Being part of a very diverse religious community means that our tapestry is large and full of different colors, fibers, and images. We cannot ignore the fact that we are connected and that we give each other context.

The same goes for our community outside of religious confines. I know that I do not live in the best of neighborhoods. We keep our apartment clean and our balcony is always green and vibrant. There are days when it is really easy to only focus on the space for which I pay rent. But, as luck would have it, I do not live in a bubble. There are times when I am going to have to right the spilled recycle bin, pick up trash in the parking lot, and shovel snow from a parking space which I am not guaranteed to inhabit again. Apartment complexes are great examples of the interplay between personal responsibility and our individual responsibility for the community. Last year I did not have to help my neighbor who had back surgery. He could have had his family come and take care of him, or even hired a nurse. Instead, we helped him feed his cat, get his mail, and move furniture deemed too heavy to lift by his doctor. These sorts of actions seek out balance, of course. When a hurricane ripped through our neighborhood the same neighbor ran up the stairs to suggest we move our car when a tree fell hitting a car just four spaces away from ours. If each of us had not considered each ‘charitable action’ a personal responsibility to our community, where would we be? It is not my duty, directly, to pick up trash that someone else threw into the street, just as it is no one’s strict responsibility to warn me that trees are falling down. However, in the long term, I want my apartment complex pest-free and keeping trash to a minimum will prevent rats and other beasties from being lured. Warning a neighbor of potential weather-related damage keeps them from incurring repair costs (or insurance premiums) that could mean the difference between paying rent and not paying rent, that month.

Where we shop, what we buy, and which container our products come in all tie into a personal responsibility which sends ripples through our community. If I buy my food from a store that is unfriendly to unions, that sends a ripple through my community affecting job opportunities, the average pay, and the healthcare benefits available to families and children. If I buy the tarot deck I really like online or from a book chain, instead of the local occult store, I am affecting my local religious community and quite possibly the local availability of books, herbs, and a communal spot for gatherings, classes, and Sabbats. If I buy a product from a company that pollutes, what am I passively advocating? If everything I buy comes in the form of tiny, individually-wrapped containers, what am I throwing into the Earth? We each do what we can do - our shopping opportunities are limited by budget, location, and needs - but these are important choices to keep in mind each day.

The final example I will offer is extremely personal. This time last year I was at a crossroads. I was finding fulfillment in Priestessing for the Sabbats at the local occult store and I was reveling in the way the community was coming together, but it wasn’t feeding my spirit in the way I needed. Like many Pagans I needed a spiritual ‘home base’ where we would have the same goals, the same approach to worship and life outside of circle. At first I searched local covens, classes, and collectives for what my soul yearned for and nothing was the right fit. Late one night, talking to a friend, we realized we were at the same spot, spiritually, and that that day would be the start of our own coven/spiritual collective. It was the voicing of our needs, of saying, “We can do this. If we want this, then others may, as well, ” that transformed a want into a reality. It was a sense of ‘personal responsibility’ that made us look in ourselves and to each other to create a spiritual home. Now a cornerstone of our practice and our beliefs is the act of spiraling outward, in activism, in charity, in action, and in compassion. If we had not done this for ourselves, initially, we would have no group of which to speak. It is the logical extension of that founding moment.

Ultimately our responsibility is to keep the energies at balance, to give as much as we get. My life is pretty swell right now. I do not want for food. I am a member of an amazing coven. I have an amazing husband, healthy cats, and a good job. I take part in fabulous public rituals. How else could I keep from being complacent and how else could I keep growing without giving, without sacrificing, without moving out of my comfort zone? Between the messy desk and the credit card debt I have two rituals and three themed essays to write by the end of this month. Why? Well, there was a time when I attended rituals and classes forever yearning and asking, “Why aren’t there more things for me in my community?” I realized that it must be my turn.

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Shining Spider

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