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June 13th. 2016 ...
Pollyanna Propaganda: The Distressing Trend of Victim-Blaming in Spirituality
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An Alternative Conception of Divine Reciprocity
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Magic in Sentences
March 28th. 2016 ...
Revisiting The Spiral
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January 22nd. 2016 ...
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Introduction to Tarot For the Novice
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October 24th. 2015 ...
Facing Your Demons: The Shadow Self
Native American Spirituality Myopia
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October 16th. 2015 ...
Sacred Lands, Sacred Hearts
September 30th. 2015 ...
September 16th. 2015 ...
Nature Worship: or Seeing the Trees for the Ents
Vegan or Vegetarian? The Ethical Debate
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Lost - A Pagan Parent's Tale
July 9th. 2015 ...
Love Spells: The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly
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June 7th. 2015 ...
A Pagan Altar
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Sex, Lies, and Witches: Love in a Time of Wiccans and Atheists
Gods, Myth, and Ritual in Naturalistic Paganism
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March 29th. 2015 ...
A Thread in the Tapestry of Witchcraft
March 28th. 2015 ...
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March 1st. 2015 ...
Choosing to Write a Shadow Book
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February 1st. 2015 ...
Seeker Advice From a Coven Leader
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The Ancient Use of God/Goddess Surnames
The Gods of My Heart
January 1st. 2015 ...
The Six Most Valuable Lessons I've Learned on My Path as a Witch
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Publicly Other: Witchcraft in the Suburbs
Pagans All Around Us
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October 20th. 2014 ...
Thoughts on Conjuring Spirits
A Microcosmic View of Ma'at
October 5th. 2014 ...
The History of the Sacred Circle
Abandoning Expectations and Remembering Your Roots
September 28th. 2014 ...
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Creating a Healing Temple
September 20th. 2014 ...
GOD AND ME (A Pagan's Personal Reply to the New Atheists)
September 7th. 2014 ...
Deer Man- A Confounding Mystery
August 31st. 2014 ...
Coven vs. Solitary
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August 24th. 2014 ...
Thoughts on Cultural and Spiritual Appropriation
The Pagan Cleric
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August 17th. 2014 ...
To Know, to Will, to Dare...
On Grief: Beacons of Light in the Shadows
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As a Pagan, How Do I Represent My Path?
The Power of the Gorgon
NOTE: For a complete list of articles related to this chapter... Visit the Main Index FOR this section.
Visions and Voices
Article ID: 15040
Age Group: Adult
Days Up: 1,431
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Author: Rev. etain.butterfly
Posted: July 29th. 2012
Times Viewed: 2,092
My mother was in her 80s and my brother had already moved in with her to help with household duties and maintenance upkeep. As time went on my brothers and I had to make that gut wrenching decision to put our mother into a senior care facility temporarily for medical treatment for a condition she had developed. The problem we were having was she needed daily treatments for her illness and we both worked. We would make the appointment; tell Mom she needed to unlock the door to let them in. Later on that day I would get the call that they showed up and no one answered the door. The only option for us at that time was to place her in a senior care facility so she could get the necessary treatments, gain her strength back so we could bring her back home.
We had gone over the whole ordeal with Mom and she knew it was temporary but she was adamant about not going. She begged, bartered, threatened, cried and in general took us through a long guilt trip.
The day we took her to the facility I had decided to stay with her most of the day to get her settled in and comfortable with her new surroundings and reassure her she was not being abandon. She kept saying, “I am not going to stay here”. The staff was very patient with her less than friendly behavior and around 7 PM I realized I was extremely exhausted and decided to go home and get some much needed rest. I kissed Mom good night and told her I would check on her in the morning. Little did I realize this was going to be the start of a life-changing event for me.
At 3 AM I got the call from the senior care facility telling me our Mom had an episode with dangerously high blood pressure and they transferred her to the local hospital. I immediately notified my brothers and headed for the emergency room.
When I arrived the attending physicians explained that our mother just had a major stroke on her right side of her brain and due to a stroke she previously had years ago on the left side of her brain they predicted she was pretty much in a vegetative state. A persistent vegetative state is a disorder of consciousness in which patients with severe brain damage are in a state of partial arousal rather than true awareness. So, they went over my choices of care for her and the one they highly suggested was to admit her for post stroke care and observation.
My Mom and I have had many conversations of quality of life and not wanting to have extra measures taken if no quality of life is present, so this was ever present in the back of my mind when making decisions for her care. I worked at this facility so it allowed me to work during the day and during the evening I slept in a sleeping bag on the floor in her room. I wanted to observer her myself for signs of quality of care or make the decision for hospice care. Sadly to say there was no sign of any cognitive functions. The plan of care was to give her morphine to keep her comfortable and look for an extended care facility that deals with hospice care.
Two days had passed and it was Saturday night and I had spent all day with Mom. I told the nurses I would do all her nursing care and all they had to do was give her the morphine. I had just finished up giving her an evening bath when the nurse came in to give her the morphine, thus allowing me a good 4 hours of sleep before returning to give her another shot. I was totally drained both emotionally and physically and looked forward to a good four hours of sleep.
The only light on in the room was the one directly over my Mother’s bed and it was low wattage. I was sound to sleep when someone or something shook my shoulder waking me up. I looked around the room and NO one was there. I could hear the usual noise in the hallway but there was no one in the room. I sat up and just looked at my Mom lying there when I became aware that I no longer did I heard the noise in the hallway so I looked towards the door. It was like being in a vacuum. Then I looked back at my Mom and there at the head of her bed was an entity… I could see something but it didn’t really have a human form it was more of a silver-bluish radiance. Then I heard my Grandmother’s voice in my head (or at least that is what it reminded me of) telling me “You made the right decision and we will take her soon”. I was fully awake. I felt a breeze pass by me on the left side moving my hair slightly and then the vacuum was gone and I could once again hear the noises in the hallway. OMG what just happened? I got up and looked around the room then I went to my Mom’s bedside and took her hand saying “Mom did Grandma just come to see you”? I didn’t really expect an answer I just needed to hear my own voice to assure I was awake. I was!
I went to the nurse’s station to let them know I was going to the cafeteria to get some coffee and something to eat when a coworker said to me “you look like you just seen a ghost – you are pale as heck. Are you OK? I said, “You have no idea”! She told me she was just leaving to go on her break and offered to go have coffee with me. I accepted her offer as I felt I really needed company right then.
As my nerves settled down and we talked about my Mom and our decision for hospice care I casually mentioned the experience I just had. She is very religious person and she said, “Sounds like you just had a vision”. I had to agree with her. She took my hand in hers and suggested that I notify my family and offered to stay with me until they arrived.
Early Sunday morning the whole family was at my Mom’s bedside. My older brother lived in Reno and was unable to come home due to health issues his wife. I put my cell phone up to Mom’s ear as my brother and wife said their last goodbyes. It was shortly after that my Mom sat right up and reached out for something in front of her then dropped back to the bed and she was gone. I like to think that she was reaching out for my beloved Grandmother’s hand for guidance to Summerland. Mom you are surely loved and missed.
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