Articles/Essays From Pagans
May 26th. 2013 ...
So You Think You've Found a Teacher...
Learning To Live Your Own Life
Casting The Wiccan Circle
Raising Personal Magickal Energy for Spellwork
May 19th. 2013 ...
The Role of Identity in Magic
Talking Trash? It's a Dirty Subject but Waste Happens.
My Wiccan Journey
13 Keys: The Victory of Netzach
May 12th. 2013 ...
Pagan Studies I: How Should We Define Modern Paganism?
The Third Path
Nothing Special... Part Two
May 5th. 2013 ...
The Value of Multicultural Awareness
Put Your Back Into It (Our Lady of the Sacred Honey Badger)
Moon Musings, Planetary Preponderances and Red Lipped Bat Fish
April 28th. 2013 ...
Lessons from the Lessers: Iris
April 21st. 2013 ...
Taken By The Goddess: The Crescent Moon Tattoo
The Gods/Being Godbothered
To Be A Witch
The Archetypes are Gods: Re-godding the Archetypes
April 14th. 2013 ...
On The Inclusion of Children
'Wand Fun' With Grandson
Lessons from a Baby
Lessons of Freedom: On Divinity and Healing
April 7th. 2013 ...
Out of the Broom Closet... Sorta
A Journey Through the Witches Tarot
History and Science Behind Numerology
March 31st. 2013 ...
What is the Magickal Self?
Ethics and Numerology
March 24th. 2013 ...
Keystones of the Sacred Land
March 17th. 2013 ...
Why Some Pagans and Witches Still Hide
Witch Heritage 101: What Happens When Witch Haters Joke about anti-Witch Films
I'm Not a Broom. So What's with the Closet?
March 10th. 2013 ...
Top Ten Stupid Things I Did as a New Pagan: Part 3
Hunting for the Real Witch in Film
The Collective Shadow
Lies - The Opposite of Truth
March 3rd. 2013 ...
Grounding and Releasing Negative Energy
A Patchwork of Magick
February 24th. 2013 ...
Top Ten Stupid Mistakes I Made as a New Pagan (Part Two)
February 17th. 2013 ...
Top Ten Stupid Mistakes I made as a New Pagan... Part One
Gardening with Crystal Energies
A Call from the Ancestors
Moon Musings, Planetary Preponderances and Black Water Snakes
February 10th. 2013 ...
We Are the Weirdos, Mister: A Completely Uncool Story of Origin
February 3rd. 2013 ...
"I'll Grind Your Bones to Make my Bread": Pagans and Animal Husbandry
The Role of Contemporary Culture in Magic
A Pagan Response to Endangered Earth
The Great Mother's Gift, Heinlein, and the Nature of Squirrels
13 Keys: The Glory of Hod
January 27th. 2013 ...
Why We Do Need Wicca
The Cosmos In the Coffee Shop
On Travel Spirituality and Magick
January 20th. 2013 ...
Beloved Backs and How to Save Them
Building or Burning Bridges?
Plants, Magic and Intuition
Plagiarism - How It Harms Our Community
January 13th. 2013 ...
Ramblings of a Pagan Guy: Stupid Clichés
The Magick and Power of Words
Aging Is Not Easy
The Riddle of Who We Are?
January 6th. 2013 ...
Wicca v Witchcraft
A Witch in the Closet
Gut Hunches, Mouse Dreams, and Pinkie Sense
How Many People Can You Fit Under An Umbrella?
December 30th. 2012 ...
Ritual "Cheat Sheet" Bracelet
Magick is All Around Us
Confessions of a Living Satyr
A Tiny Bit of Belly Dance History
December 23rd. 2012 ...
The Warrior Goddess and You.
World Change: A Message from Greece
What's the Meaning of Life, Anyway?
NOTE: For a complete list of articles related to this chapter... Visit the Main Index FOR this section.
Out of the Broom Closet: A Close Look Into the Life of a Modern-Age, Teen Solita|
Posted: February 6th. 2000
Times Viewed: 6,723
Over the long months many people have asked me "how did you get into Wicca/ Witchcraft/ Paganism/ metaphysics/ spirituality/ new age stuff?" in many different forms. I have been asked in conversations; ones both friendly and from accusers, as well as just a curious question, one usually asked when one of these topics come up. I have also been asked by my peers, my family, and basically everyone who has found out that I am "into this stuff."
Many of you reading this right now have probably been asked the same question, one way or another. No matter how different all the mentioned topics are, they all have something in common: people want to know about you. Even if they are asking in a mean way, they are still curious. Before I go on to how my answers have affected me, let me explain about the answer itself.
The question of orientation into "this material" (and please know that I refer to all "this material" in a much more positive and beautiful light, there is just too much information to keep saying Wicca/Witchcraft/Paganism/metaphysics/spirituality/new age stuff etc. over and over, so I shall refer to it as "this material.") has been, surprisingly, fun for me to answer. No matter what kind of person I'm talking to, I always love trying to fabricate my tale just a little bit more intricately, and as I do so, a little more information is given each time. Unfortunately, for some of my friends, it has not been so easy.
Keeping that in mind, we must also remember that no matter why people ask, our answer is going to greatly affect them. First of all, if they have never heard about the "stuff" you're into, you are making the first impression and that will make a HUGE difference in the person's opinion of you or your interest in Witchcraft. If they have heard about it then it is just your reputation on the line, so you still have to be cautious. So, in any case, the most positive and thorough answer usually serves, even if you do have to omit (for now) some of the crustier and more negative details (which are hopefully sparse!)
Now, even in answering the question, like I said I have had to deal with many different kinds of people. The hardest are the skeptical scientists who think I pray to idols of the devil on full moons... in which I have to slightly change the person's paradigm, so that they can accept my information or at least take it in with smart thought that I am not a lunatic and there is more "out there" than they currently know. Before I start to ramble, I am just going to close this point: No matter how accusing or friendly the person's tone or question is, or their reaction to your "coming out" speech is, you need to remain calm and keep off the offensive side. Attacking the other person or getting mad if they accuse you just shows immaturity AND says a few more bad words for your beautiful interests... which in their eyes, might not be so beautiful anymore.
Whew! I'm glad that part is over. You hopefully see now, however, that the way you tell people is very important to any relationship, friendly or otherwise you are striving for with them. Even if you are announcing the information and it is not in question form it can be tough, so as I said, keep your cool, and hang in there. Now we can get to my little story... the original topic of this essay here. Yes, it has been very hard, and the questions I've received have not always been that friendly. But it has been fun. I'm not quite sure when I announced to most people my interests, some time within the last three years to various degrees. But it is within these last five or six months or so that I am most comfortable with it and I shall always express my true feelings to [almost] anyone who asks. Yet it does seem necessary... especially with the Tarot readings I give at the local bookstores. This doesn't mean I have to give all my information out; that would take many minutes. However, being honest usually involves some tie-in to the subject. Do I always mention Witchcraft? No. For some that is just too big a deal and I do not feel like giving the whole spiel about ethics and truths and history and what not.
Well, with those very long background notes out of the way, let us go to my beginning.
Some time around three years ago I decided that I wanted to apply some of my mystical interests into my normal life. For as long as I could remember I was interested in magic and things of the like, even if they were just science fiction. Not knowing at all where the words came from but knowing of them, I one day went to America Online's keyword database and went to the keyword: Pagan. It was not what I had anticipated.
Oh yes, I was one of those people who wanted all the power and spells at first. I went to the chat rooms fabricating many creative lies and almost begging for magickal training... I thought I was ready for something I hadn't even begun to understand. But people told me this, and after person to person I finally decided that I should stop rushing into things. After two failed book attempts I looked for The Spiral Dance by Starhawk. It was not what I expected, but then again I didn't really know what to expect. The feminist views swayed me a little bit but I reminded myself it was just one book. However, from that book alone, a whole study opened up before my eyes, beautiful and intricate and stunningly natural to me, all at the same time. I began reading as much as I could, but still kept my interest in the wanting for more power.
I had a few failed attempts, as obviously I would, and I had a surprising success as well. But I was still not putting two and two together; I was not grasping the philosophical and ethical issues that tied in with my studies. I didn't even want to put forth the time to change my religion, which even though now I do consider myself following a Pagan one, (Witchcraft) I still hate any type of label in general.
My naiveté eventually decreased though, sometime over the summer. I dropped most of my interest and even though my view of the world was changing, I still hadn't grasped the principles and decided to give up. This obviously led me to a depression, because not only did I feel like I was missing something, as I always felt before my studies, but now I felt like a part of me had been just taken off and thrown away. I didn't think the meaning was profound enough to eradicate my laziness, however, so I continued on, living life but not studying what I loved.
For about seven or nine months I went on this way. I didn't know what to feel. I didn't know what to do. I had a life, I was stable, yet still, I wasn't applying myself. Yet sometime around the end of spring of the next year something hit me, out of nowhere. I stood up for my beliefs, which were far different for what they are now, and for the first time in a very long time, I expressed my true opinions on the matter at which I felt inside. The details of the exact next couple days were sketchy, but I do remember a profound inspiration. I started reading about Wicca and Witchcraft and metaphysics, and I really applied myself. It was like a spiritual renewal. Like a bright white light was shining on my soul, my life now had the profound meaning that I thought was lost. Once again I kept buying many books, I even went to a metaphysical store and bought my first candles and incense and soon after gemstones, and I could hardly believe what was happening.
A few months of this went by and I thought the summer just sped past me. I was growing, intellectually, that much I knew, but the degree of it I could hardly interpret. The words flowing out of my brain now would never have been possible without those months, and I would not be the person I am today.
Since then, I have continued to buy many many books, and speak with more people about matters that I have never spoken before. My philosophies were blooming before my eyes and for the first time, now that I look back on it, my entire paradigm was changed, willingly and joyfully. The endless quest for power is but a vague memory, and I cannot express my pure, loving, and innocent gratitude to our Goddess and God for my spiritual rebirth. My life is more honest than it has ever been, and whenever I feel lazy, I just think about all that I have done, and all the help that has been given me along the way.
Of course there were hardships... I had to deal with many individuals who challenged me left and right, including my skeptical father (who was doing it unconsciously) and a bad relationship. But in the end, I am grateful. All the sorrows that I can remember I have ended up learning from, and now the negativity I once faced, I counsel people about and understandingly help them cope with their difficulties.
I am positive that any e-mail or comments I get on those last eight paragraphs will be answered for me with honesty. And I must say, I enjoyed typing them. However, there is one thing you must know. No matter what I say, my story does not end here. It goes on, expanding, spiraling, encountering new people, thoughts, and ideas as it goes on. I am not the same person as I was last year, last month, yesterday, or even ten minutes ago. Because we are always changing I must let you know that I now also face more negativity than ever before, whether it be a rare depression, knowledge of a psychic attack, or a skeptical person whose main goal is to harm me through the knowledge I express. Remember that this is a GOOD thing, however, and since we learn from our mistakes and difficulties I am also learning as well. But please, look at the experience as a whole, and know that the next time you talk to someone who is interested in spells and power that they really have the potential to develop so immensely, and even though that is a hard thing to do they are at a slightly good first step if you can get the ethical message in their head.
Over all, that just about wraps it up. If you have any questions or comments, PLEASE E-mail me! I am open to constructive [and not so constructive] criticism as I hope some day to be a type of writer as a side-job or hobby. Thanks for taking your time to read my essay!
Location: , Michigan
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Bio: Dave enjoys any good book, but his eyes are bigger than his intellectual stomach and he usually buys twice as many books as he can read, then does the same thing a week later. But he loves to learn! He is currently planning on writing a paper on the differences of Wicca and Witchcraft, and likes to fence, draw, paint, read the Tarot, and just have a plain old good time. He is also used to being called something like "an old soul in a young body, " being only 15 years of age.
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