Articles/Essays From Pagans
February 10th. 2017 ...
Understanding the Unseen
Kitchen Magic and Memories
January 10th. 2017 ...
The Gray of 'Tween
Becoming a Sacred Dancer
Little Dog, Big Love
December 9th. 2016 ...
A Child's First Yule
November 10th. 2016 ...
What Exactly Is Witchcraft?
A Witch in the Bible Belt: Questions are Opportunities
On Death and Passing: Compassion Burnout in Healers and Shamans
What I Get from Cooking (And How it’s Part of My Path)
October 10th. 2016 ...
Witchcraft from the Outside
September 11th. 2016 ...
Wild Mountain Woman: Landscape Goddess
How Did I Get Here? (My Pagan Journey)
September 3rd. 2016 ...
Rethinking Heaven: What Happens When We Die?
What is Happening in My Psychic Reading?
August 12th. 2016 ...
When Reality Rattles your Idea of the Perfect Witch
Hungarian Belief in Fairies
Designing a Pagan Last Will and Testament
July 13th. 2016 ...
What Every Pagan Should Know About Curses
Magic With A Flick of my Finger
An Open Mind and Heart
Finding and Caring for Your Frame Drum
June 13th. 2016 ...
Pollyanna Propaganda: The Distressing Trend of Victim-Blaming in Spirituality
Living a Magickal Life with Fibromyalgia
My Father, My First God
Life is Awesome... and the Flu
May 15th. 2016 ...
Faery Guided Journey
How to Bond with the Elements through Magick
Magical Household Cleaning
Working with the Elements
April 2nd. 2016 ...
Becoming Wiccan: What I Never Expected
An Alternative Conception of Divine Reciprocity
The Evolution of Thought Forms
The Fear of Witchcraft
Rebirth By Fire: A Love Letter to Mama Maui and Lady Pele
Magic in Sentences
Blowing Bubbles with the Goddess
March 28th. 2016 ...
Revisiting The Spiral
Lateral Transcendence: Toward Greater Compassion
Spring Has Sprung!
January 22nd. 2016 ...
Coming Out of the Broom Closet
Energy and Karma
Community and Perception
December 20th. 2015 ...
Introduction to Tarot For the Novice
Magia y Wicca
October 24th. 2015 ...
Facing Your Demons: The Shadow Self
The Dream Eater--A Practical Use of Summoning Talismans
Native American Spirituality Myopia
A Dream Message
Feeling the Pulse of Autumn
October 16th. 2015 ...
Sacred Lands, Sacred Hearts
September 30th. 2015 ...
September 16th. 2015 ...
Vegan or Vegetarian? The Ethical Debate
Nature Worship: or Seeing the Trees for the Ents
August 6th. 2015 ...
Lost - A Pagan Parent's Tale
July 9th. 2015 ...
Love Spells: The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly
The Magic of Weather
June 7th. 2015 ...
A Pagan Altar
A Minority of a Minority of a Minority
The Consort: Silent Partner or Hidden in Plain Sight?
Why I Bother With Ritual: Poetry and Eikonic Atheism
May 6th. 2015 ...
Gods, Myth, and Ritual in Naturalistic Paganism
I Claim Cronehood
13 Keys: The Crown of Kether
March 29th. 2015 ...
A Thread in the Tapestry of Witchcraft
March 28th. 2015 ...
On Wiccan Magick, Theurgy, Thaumaturgy and Setting Expectations
March 1st. 2015 ...
Choosing to Write a Shadow Book
Historiolae: The Spell Within the Story
February 1st. 2015 ...
Seeker Advice From a Coven Leader
The Three Centers of Paganism
Magick is No Illusion
The Ancient Use of God/Goddess Surnames
The Gods of My Heart
January 1st. 2015 ...
The Six Most Valuable Lessons I've Learned on My Path as a Witch
Manipulation of the Concept of Witchcraft
Publicly Other: Witchcraft in the Suburbs
NOTE: For a complete list of articles related to this chapter... Visit the Main Index FOR this section.
Divorce, An Initiatory Path
Article ID: 14135
Age Group: Adult
Days Up: 2,302
Times Read: 4,754
RSS Views: 15,752
Author: Diana Rajchel [a WitchVox Sponsor]
Posted: November 7th. 2010
Times Viewed: 4,754
In a span of life experience including broken bones, dropping out of my graduate program and developing a sometimes- debilitating chronic illness, divorce falls in the spectrum of “not the worst” but past the line marked “would do it again.” It does however make the list of top ten life events that have really sucked so far.
Looking back, I recognize that period as a spiritual ordeal. Before initiations into greater Mysteries, each person must pass through a trial that challenges who you believe yourself to be. Every single aspect of my person faced that challenge, and some parts of me fell away for good. I no longer believe all conflicts can be resolved. Relationships need much more than love to work. Love exists to teach us and to connect us to some of our teachers; it does not exist to make miracles.
I did not enjoy such perspective while passing through that divorcing and post-divorce phase. For those familiar with tarot, I came upon a time in my life when my Tower fell – on me.
The Tower in tarot typically symbolizes catastrophe over which you have no control. When the tower falls, you can only fall with it and hope for the best when you land. In my case, I landed in a different city with my career, finances and health in shreds. I gave up graduate school, and not too long after I moved I developed an idiopathic illness. I also landed around people void of the capacity to understand my situation. In the midst of attempting an amicable divorce I found myself navigating murky cultural waters where, no matter what I chose, I wound up judged harshly.
My remaining friends from the university came from cultures that place a massive stigma on divorce, and an equal stigma on being white, American and female. I found my identity and assumptions challenged daily, and in turn I challenged theirs. At the time, I hated it, but even then I recognized some of its value: to know myself, I had to know my place in the world on a genuinely global scale. These individuals took the role of the challengers that a traveler meets along an initiatory path.
My faith in humanity and in my own ability wavered as I went through the darkest part of my youth. To ascend to the next level of adulthood, I had to establish myself with almost none of my old material comforts, no security in the form of bank accounts or ownership and without human connections to give me shelter should I fail. I came close to losing a home many times, but I did discover that the gods do pay attention as long as you both keep talking and shut up and listen to what they have to say.
The entire process of divorce formed a gauntlet. The question at the gate was that horrifying statement, “I want a divorce.” From there, I stripped myself of money by paying the legal fees, of security by moving out of the home I shared and by quitting the jobs I worked, of status by giving up my role as someone’s wife and as a university student. I even gave up friends, forced to leave them as I moved to a new city. Just as Inanna laid down her jewels at each gate of the Underworld, I laid down every mark of the identity I spent years building.
Divorce is the falling of the tower, and standing up, dusting yourself off and walking down the road to a place you can rebuild is the post-divorce descent. Death visits somewhere in the middle, helping you to release your old identity – and hopefully freeing you from the mistaken belief that Death has any impact whatsoever on love. At the end of the journey new identity awaits, but first the initiatory divorcee must run someone’s gauntlet of social expectations.
In Wicca, we celebrate the eternal love of the God and Goddess for the same reason we celebrate Her eternal life: both possibilities extend beyond our own physical possibilities. We aspire to them, touch on them through magic, ritual and passionate living, but death still claims us, and love must end. The ephemeral nature of life is the hardest thing about it, and in the case of divorce, when the love leaves but the breath of life remains the struggle to accept what that means sears us. We all want to be the exception, to be the mythic lovers placed in the stars. Even those of us who dance to the moon and burn candles to the goddess Aphrodite must at some point pay the price of living on this earth: the good things, the good times, and the beauty must end or else it degrades and becomes ill, a quiet cancer we fail to notice until it’s too late.
If especially blessed, the love ends in death after a long life together. Most of us instead face harsher truths and rockier journeys: our paths split, whether the road is inner or outer, and we must say goodbye to both the former loved one and to love itself. Those of us who choose an attitude of faith carry on with a belief love will return, that this is a cycle, one of death within life. Others will struggle, seeing wind-tossed currents of change ahead, with no idea whether safety is at hand.
The only guarantee given in life, even to those with piercing faith in divine interest, is that we are here to change. Divorce changes you internally even as your body ages externally. When at last you arrive at your next stop, you will have your body – as is - and you will have your spirit – as is. Above all, you will still have choice.
That choice will tell you that your next phase begins. You might enjoy a new lover. You might find yourself with work that engages you in a new and different way. You might find that your mind and heart simply turn to the path ahead, knowing the past goes nowhere.
To my readers:
I am currently writing a book in Divorce and neopaganism. If you have experienced a divorce, and it has been one year or more since the dissolution, please consider participating in my survey. Right now the survey is set to run until December 31st., 2010.
Copyright: copyright Diana Rajchel 2010
Location: San Francisco, California
Author's Profile: To learn more about Diana Rajchel - Click HERE
Other Articles: Diana Rajchel has posted 5 additional articles- View them?
Other Listings: To view ALL of my listings: Click HERE
Email Diana Rajchel... (Yes! I have opted to receive invites to Pagan events, groups, and commercial sales)
Web Site Content (including: text - graphics - html - look & feel)
Copyright 1997-2017 The Witches' Voice Inc. All rights reserved
Note: Authors & Artists retain the copyright for their work(s) on this website.
Unauthorized reproduction without prior permission is a violation of copyright laws.
Website structure, evolution and php coding by Fritz Jung on a Macintosh G5.
Any and all personal political opinions expressed in the public listing sections (including, but not restricted to, personals, events, groups, shops, Wrenâ€™s Nest, etc.) are solely those of the author(s) and do not reflect the opinion of The Witchesâ€™ Voice, Inc. TWV is a nonprofit, nonpartisan educational organization.
Sponsorship: Visit the Witches' Voice Sponsor Page for info on how you
can help support this Community Resource. Donations ARE Tax Deductible.
The Witches' Voice carries a 501(c)(3) certificate and a Federal Tax ID.
Mail Us: The Witches' Voice Inc., P.O. Box 341018, Tampa, Florida 33694-1018 U.S.A.
of The World
NOTE: The essay on this page contains the writings and opinions of the listed author(s) and is not necessarily shared or endorsed by the Witches' Voice inc.
The Witches' Voice does not verify or attest to the historical accuracy contained in the content of this essay.
All WitchVox essays contain a valid email address, feel free to send your comments, thoughts or concerns directly to the listed author(s).