Queendom: The Lost Face (Phase) of the Goddess
Article ID: 11924
Age Group: Adult
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Author: Kestryl Angell
Posted: September 30th. 2007
Times Viewed: 3,480
Wiccans teach, when learning the phases of life on of the Wheel of the Year, that there are three primary faces to the God and Goddess that are most often focused upon. For the God, it is the Sacred Son/Youth/Sun King, The Horned God/Fertile Mate/Sacred Sacrifice, and Father Time/The Cronus/Holly King. For the Goddess, it is the Maiden/Divine Virgin/Huntress, Mother/Fertile Vessel/Priestess and Crone/Midwife to the Sun King/Death Bridge.
Yet, there is one phase that both the God and Goddess and Their followers, we people, go through that is lost on many of us. It is a phase that exists between the Mother and the Crone, between the Horned God and the Holly King…and it is the phase of Queen/Kingdom.
Because I am female, I relate best to the path of the female polarity of Spirit, and thus this article will primarily address those issues most often seen by a woman in and around this phase. However, always realize as all wise folk do, that the male experience is similar and yet different in his experience of Kingdom than that of a female experiencing Queendom.
Therefore, I am truly not discounting the male experience. I will address its differences at another time. For now, the broad strokes of this phase are often the same for both gender identifications with Deity.
A woman reaches a phase of her life after her children are grown to youthful adulthood and have “flown the coup, ” in which she is still quite vital and often in better balance within her own foundations than ever up to that point in her life’s development.
Often, women in this phase experience “empty nest syndrome” because they have spent over half their lives, in many cases, living with their experience and energy split between themselves and that of their children and their children’s lives and needs.
Depending on how involved she was with the Mother process in her life, she may experience a profound sense of loss because all the energy she once poured into understanding, functioning and teaching her children up to that point now has no particular outlet.
A Priestess, likewise often goes through this process when her initial students reach a more independent point in their studies and in some cases, her circle or coven will dissolve because of her issues with her own sense of control and foundation being turned in this very profound and internalizing direction.
As well, many women feel a solid “hurry up and wait” sense within themselves as they are no longer of daily “requirement” to their children but are not yet needed by grandchildren or are distanced from their family and need another focus for all that excess energy they once allocated to team practices, grades, health issues and shot records, etc.
They are not yet Crones, ready to sit in their rockers with their grandchildren around their knees, teaching the family’s history and lessons of the world from older eyes…heck, they may not even have grey hair yet!
So, what’s to be done for the lady in this holding pattern?
Recognize this precious time as the coming of your Queendom and embrace it!
Queendom is the time when you can trade in plastic ware and paper plates, chipped old china and mismatched silverware for dishes and silverware that matches each other…and might even break if dropped! Whoopee!!!
Queendom is the time when you can choose furniture because you adore it, not just because it’s stain-proofed and hardwearing! Yahoo!!!
Queendom is the time when you can choose to actually own something white because you might just have a place you could wear it where little hands or little mouths won’t ruin it before you get out the door! Allllllright!!!
Queendom is the time when you can set hours you actually want to see people for social reasons and times to tell the world to go away and let you have “quality time” with yourself or your mate! In other words, you can set adult boundaries for yourself that don’t necessarily have to have little people considered in the plan! How exciting, you get to be a grownup! On your own even!! Maybe even………without a curfew!!
I know I know…shock and awe!! What a concept!!!
This is not to say that it is a purely selfish time in life, at least not to the negative sense of the word. Many Queens often find that some of the energy they once poured into their children’s lives and development can now be spent on their own in the form of educational pursuits, charity work, community service and all the other projects that they never had time for when being a super-soccer-Mom. Queendom means you can set your own times and places for a change instead of keeping everyone else’s calendar for them. What a luxury to only be your own secretary for a change!
Queendom is also the time to finally concentrate on things like the finer points of your health that you haven’t taken the time to take care of, many of which can often lengthen your time and energy to spend here on this plane—and might make the coming of Cronedom a lot easier in the long run.
Queendom is that time you take to read that book you’ve put off or go out for coffee with that old friend you rarely see anymore because you’re both too “busy with family commitments.”
Queendom is also a beautiful time for many who choose to make it the first truly focused time of spiritual study in their lives.
Deep is the luxury for many when they finally get that time freed up to truly immerse themselves in spiritual study, in daily practice and in the rhythm of finding their harmony with their environment again. They may have spent years in envy of others who were lucky enough to have the freedom to spend nearly their entire lives in study, when they themselves have only just at that time freed up for them.
Yet, in this deep and luxuriant time in one’s life, a woman can also find herself confused.
When a woman has spent a goodly portion of her life thinking of other’s needs first, it is hard for many to do things for themselves without a tremendous sense of guilt. But, this is one of those moments in human nature where a little bit of being “naughty” might just be a healthy thing.
It is not a bad thing to think of the self, for when self is centered and fed properly on all levels, it is far less likely to be hurt without thinking or to cause harm to others with rash decision-making.
Further, if one is still responsible for other’s well-being, say in their work environment…then it sometimes becomes even more necessary for them to take care of themselves first when not working. This is because the stress levels require a good quality and quantity of “down time” to repair the damages of the job itself—and the Queen tends to realize this instead of ignoring it to the point of exhaustion for the sake of that last dozen cookies for the bake sale.
Taking care of one’s self properly is something that can never get too much attention, in this world of aging daily, for Queendom can also be an age for many when age is felt, seen about the edges of eyes and mouths…and myriad other body parts…in a “ripeness” that requires hands-on attention and more stringent management.
Mentally, the Queen is strong in her own thought patterns. She knows her own Mind and has no problem speaking it when necessary. Emotionally, she has investigated her heart and gives of it freely, though often cautiously and usually with far less “blame” than her Maiden self once might have done.
She’s more thoughtful in the way her emotions come out and less reactive than youth often prescribes. She’s not a “spoiled princess” anymore; she’s a realistic Queen in her world.
Physically, her body is changing some and often requires more nutrient support but is still quite capable of most of the things she could once accomplish in her younger days.
Spiritually, the Queen is centered, aware, able to still inspire the raw responses of youth…yet she has the control, the depth and the Knowledge to refine that energy, move it in a tantric manner and with purpose toward any Universal goal she chooses. She is both aware of and lives in reverence of the God and Goddess in all Their faces. She relishes her Power and uses it to empower others.
She is past requiring validation from others and finds, instead, her validation totally to be self-contained. She realizes that true power comes from within and has nothing to do with power over others…but that the truest tests of self always occur within the self.
She realizes, because she’s lived awhile, that there is more to life than dreaming, but that dreams are still important and completely able to be manifested, if only it is well-planned and executed with appropriate purpose and direction.
In fact, dreams that are formed before or within one’s Queendom are often some of the most easily manifested, because they are detailed, concise and possessed of a focus that comes from earning it and learning to take it when you’ve finally earned it.
Queendom is, in many ways, the same sort of celebration and beautiful time of centered selfishness as retirement can be for a person that has worked for 25, 30, 40+ years at a specific thing. Is it any wonder men grab their fishing poles after working every single day for that long at one job? Of course it’s no surprise.
Likewise, for a woman coming into her Queendom, it should be no surprise when she takes time to go on a spiritual retreat or to takes a weekend to try out tons of new recipes in her kitchen—purely because she wants to.
She’s done her jobs, often many at once and now it’s her time for her!
Queendom is a bridging time between the dreams of youth, the passions of active fertility and motherhood and the aged clarity of Cronedom, when the brightness of the past is not yet dulled by the hardships of the aged future and the passion of the more recent past has been honed into a focused sort of foundation and direction. It is a special window into the self that will one day make Cronedom far more satisfying and far less filled with regrets, if properly embraced.
So ladies, if you’re coming to that time in life when kids no longer need your attention 24/7 and life is beginning to allow you some time to grasp this powerful time in your life, by all means welcome it with open and loving arms.
You deserve it!
All the chaos of Youth has been tempered and ordered by Motherhood’s requirements and the ordered chaos of Motherhood has finally given way to some peaceful co-existence with yourself and your environment, an environment that—for the first time for many—can truly be your own in ways you never even conceived of previously.
Queendom is a time to make your castle your own and to allow the maturation of your tastes, your ideas and your life’s path up to this point brought to a finer, more solid foundational space.
Queendom is a time to take the reins of your own life in hand, embrace it, enjoy it, live in it—don’t skip it!
Go ahead…take that path less traveled…into your own Queendom!
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