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Article ID: 11951

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Age Group: Adult

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The Eternal Battle

Author: Kestryl Angell
Posted: November 4th. 2007
Times Viewed: 2,577

You may have read the now famous book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” by Dr. John Gray, PhD that began a whole movement toward understanding communication in relationships and between the sexes. You may have also read, in your travels, a far older book known as the Christian Bible. You may even have read a myriad of mythos telling the huge and seemingly complicated issue of communication between the masculine and the feminine in the genders, the self and in Deity.

Yet, when you break it down in rather simplistic terms, it really isn’t so hard to understand after all, nor is it hard to see how the balance of polarities is meant to be combined and directed for magickal purposes.

A walker of the Path of the Wise learns from all sources in life that they can. Thus, I recently attended services at a local Christian church with my husband’s family (no, it didn’t burn to the ground instantly in a bright flash of Deific Furor….darn it! I really have always wanted to see that in person…).

I was privileged to listen to a beautiful lesson taught by the female pastor of the church, who is, though staunchly Christian, one of the finest Priestesses I’ve ever seen in action. She was teaching a lesson on Christian family dynamics, namely married couple dynamics and the lesson itself was quite interesting.

She taught that, according to Christian doctrine, the man is the Head of the family and the woman is the Heart of the family. This is why, in older times, the man was considered “King of his castle” but if the family split, it was the Queen that took the castle…and usually the kids and the money to raise them.

Likewise, in Native American tradition of ancient times, if a woman had good reason to get rid of her husband, all she had to do was place his weapons and his clothing outside the door of the home lodge. His belongings, weapons to insure he eats and his mounts were never argued to be his, but all he had provided for her and through her (namely progeny) was hers.

Thus, in a variety of ways, it is actually the Queen who rules.

Another interesting fact is that, medically speaking, the Heart will pump without being connected to the brain. It will go on functioning for the overall good of the rest of the body for as long as its own strength is fed and holds out.

However, the Brain (head) that is not connected to a Heart’s plethora of nourishing skills—whether it be the oxygen that allows it to function or the nutrients it requires to create the appropriate brain chemical responses to every day reality, or even just the caring it takes to soldier on—dies. In only a very few minutes away from the vital connection to the Heart, the Head will become irreparably damaged and can even mean brain death if taken to extremes.

Now I did with this lesson what I often do with lessons taught in another’s faith-path from my own. I applied their lesson to my own correspondences and knowledge of not only the physical, but the esoteric side of this Head/Heart equation.

Interestingly enough, my own path’s teachings not only did not contradict the one I’d just received, but gave additional layers and depth to this equation. Further, when taken to the framework of Archetypes, it even made sense on a Universal level. This is what most people call…an Epiphany. (See: Lightbulb moment!)

It is said that men are “thinkers” first and “feelers” later. Likewise, it is said that women are the ones that feel first and think later. The actual truth of the matter is that men are usually aligned to be more analytical than women, whereas women are more intuitive.

In the truly balanced Masculine/Feminine relationship, the masculine anchors the more raw edges of the emotive self, often helping us organize our emotions into a more directed, thoughtful path. This is all done, within each of us taking place simultaneously between our halves while the feminine keeps us from becoming so jaded that we feel nothing.

Women have been called the “weaker” sex, throughout time. Yet the truth of the matter is that the Feminine bears the ultimate strength to continue life, to take it and to make it again—the ever present cycle of rebirth. Hers is not necessarily the strength of the body that men enjoy. Hers are the strengths that keep ANY body going.

The strongest of men is the one that realizes, no matter how strong he becomes, no matter how lofty his station, no matter how great his knowledge or abundance of wealth in life…it is nothing without a Heart to share it with, to protect it for and to create progeny to carry on his life’s work.

In fact, many of the wealthiest men in the world attribute the roots of their success to the home that their wife or mother or both provided for them when they weren’t out in the world earning their fame and fortune. She is the foundation and the Healing Cave, she is the Heart that beats and cares and believes in him no matter what.

She is not weak, she simply understands the ways of the world and chooses a place that works in balanced partnership with her chosen…rather than demanding out of the Universe that she be allowed to “be all she can be”…to the point of giving up her own place for that of her partner’s.

Most definitely, we are not weak. Have you tried carrying a baby to term, giving birth, raising it for 18+ yrs and then letting it go? Give that a shot and get a hold of me in 20+ yrs and tell me that was a path of weakness—if you survive with at least half your sanity in tact.

Go ahead, I dare ya!

Women have also been called the “fairer” sex for many centuries. Most initially see this descriptive see “beauty” implied as the meaning for “fair” yet the truth of the matter is quite a bit more inclusive. Many people believe, if you ask them, that if the women of the world were in charge of political affairs, the ever-present threat of War that seems constant in the world theatre right now wouldn’t exist.

It is believed by many people that if women were in charge, “battle” would take place on non-lethal grounds and would be, in many cases, just as vicious but far less deadly than current male-dominated means of “settling differences.”

In many households, she is still the tempering voice of reason that often tempers the striking force of the Disciplinarian Father. And like the Goddess’ faces, the ones that are not benevolent voices of tempering reason are usually the vengeful disciplinarians to a partner who balances her in other ways. Even as the face of the Goddess changes with Her purpose, so does her Consort change His form and His understanding to wrap Himself in constant balance-point and protective station to Her will. He finds himself served and serving, cared for and open to caring and in turn, what he protects and serves gives back to him in kind, serving and protecting the parts of him that are most precious—the parts only his Lady sees.

The world may never see the man behind the Warrior God who challenges the dire requirements of the daily turning world in defense and support of his family…but She does and She is Keeper of the Secrets of the Heart, Hearth and Home. Thus, the Queen indeed does rule the domain, even as she rules the King.

If she is a fair ruler, she is balanced, knows her strengths and weaknesses and chooses a Consort that provides the opposing balance points in his own makeup.

The Head organizes the tumultuous cacophony of the Heart into coherent music and the Heart sets the Head to flying, open expansiveness. When balanced, they protect and balance one another and when they are out of balance or over balanced in their own elements, it is often elements of the other that will correct the distortions of the moment.

It fits well into the balance required within the halves of the Self, within the parts of a life-partnership, within our relationships to the God/dess and within the ways the Universe ticks on about us.

When we understand clearly the Heart’s ability to gently sway or tornado-toss our Head to another way of thinking and the Head’s ability to stir and gentle the Heart’s sometimes stormy seas and that both are tremendously important to keep balanced in themselves and with each other…that is when truer clarity begins.

You begin to see that there is no shame, no guilt to be had in feeling that you wish to take on a “classic” masculine or feminine role in life, if that is what you choose to be. There is nothing wrong with wanting to allow the opposite sex to have their “place” in the world without attaching a stigma because they choose not to become the opposite sex too!

A feeling and emotionally connected man is not a bad thing any more than a woman who can “bring home her own bacon AND fry it up in pan!” is made “less feminine” by her ability to earn a living. The entire point is to find your personal balance points, know them intimately and find the appropriate balances for you!

The Universe was designed to work in elements and in balancing polarities and acceptance of one’s own path—rather than assuming they should live their own and another’s as well—is a huge key to success!

Not every person in the world was created to be an Einstein or a “blonde bombshell.” Not every person was created to be materialistically wealthy or infamously famous. And ya know what? That’s ok! It takes all kinds of people living all walks of life to make this Universe go around and the key is to be the best possible you that you can muster. This can easily begin in the lessons of Acceptance taught in learning about the relationship between the genders.

Learning is an amazing thing; even when you find it in a place that you least expect it, like a witch having a light bulb moment in a Christian service.

In fact, most of the time…those lessons you least expect are the lessons you should listen to most closely.


Kestryl Angell

Location: Columbia, Missouri

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