Witchvox Article

Author: Brown Recluse
Posted: August 27th. 2006
Times Viewed: 5,128

Recently the Vox has seen several articles encouraging Wiccan and Pagan groups to be sure they appreciate the presence of men, a point of view which comes up often enough to be noteworthy. The basic premise of such stances—that no one group should get to oppress any other in Paganism or Wicca, and that men are as important as women—is one with which, I hope, no reasonable person could quarrel. While the gender oppression it describes isn’t something I’ve seen myself, obviously there are big theological and moral problems if we deny the divine quality of anyone’s sexuality or spirituality, or if we codify discrimination of any kind as doctrine, including “reverse discrimination.” But the secondary premise which often arises—that feminist Pagans oppress male Pagans by focusing on female spirituality, divinity, and sexuality, and that feminism is the equal and equally unacceptable opposite of misogyny—is more problematic.

So I’d like to start by discussing that premise in general—can feminism really discriminate against men as much as misogyny has against women? are the two comparable?—and then as it applies to Paganism and Wicca: does feminism in our religions really perpetrate some kind of injustice against male Pagans and Wiccans? As the astute reader has already deduced, I believe the answer to these questions is “no.”

Generally speaking, for feminism to discriminate as much as traditional hatred of women has done, it would have to mean that:

Men would make, on average and with variations between individual positions and professions, approximately three-quarters of women’s pay. Not only is this not the case in most developed countries (let’s not even talk about less-developed ones) , nothing I’ve read in any mainstream feminism implies that this would be acceptable.

Women would automatically, in most social, political and economic situations, be given privileges unasked by themselves and routinely denied to men, privileges ranging from higher pay to excessive representation in higher-paying, executive, and political jobs. Women would be given car and house loans with less trouble than men, lead in most religious and political groups, do less housework and have that refusal respected, and so on. Again, no reasonable feminist asks or expects this, nor is there any sign at the moment that it will ever come to pass.

98% of all rapes would have to be committed by women against men, including in rape camps in war-torn countries. While there may be somewhere women who plan or desire to violently rape men, I have not met them, nor have I encountered a feminist who expresses such a desire. Needless to say, there has never been, and it is almost inconceivable that there should ever be, the equivalent rape camps for men that existed for women in Nazi Germany, Bosnia, or Rwanda (one excellent reason to avoid the use of the provocative and inapt metaphor “feminazi.” Comparing a movement to social justice with institutional genocide is inaccurate as well as intentionally offensive.) With exceedingly rare exceptions, women, especially feminists, don’t do this to men, either individually or in the mass.

Male students would have to be discouraged from active class participation, have their anger made socially taboo, and be shunted toward lower-paying jobs by a host of social and educational factors because so many people believe they are biologically “designed” for such work. Again, none of these are feminist tenets, nor are they anything we see in the foreseeable future.

All America’s Presidents, all but one of Britain’s Prime Ministers, most of our Chief Justices, and a very high percentage of our members of Congress and Parliament would have to be women. Men seeking these positions would have to labor against serious doubt as to their ability to perform: people would say, “we just aren’t ready for a male president, ” or “I hope my party won’t run the most plausible female candidate, because she’s so widely hated (for no clear reason) that it would be a death wish.” At the risk of repeating myself, this shows no likelihood of happening and is not in any way advocated by any common form of feminism.

And these are, of course, only the most visible examples. In short, for feminism to cause as much harm as hatred against women has, it would have to carry the kind of centuries-long ill effects for men that misogyny has brought, and still brings, to women. And feminism doesn’t. It just doesn’t. Far from instituting misanthropy in the centers of power, feminism has made only the barest dents in acculturated male privilege. Where is the evidence that feminism could effect that kind of change, when it has done so little to change men’s worldwide economic, social, and political privilege even in our “enlightened” age?

I realize my readers know all this, but it's important to remember as we move on to Wicca and Paganism, which have arisen within the cultural context of that misogyny and privilege that we’ve been discussing. My understanding is that recent essays mean to address feminism in Wicca and Paganism, which often tend to be woman-centered spaces. While, as I mention above, I haven’t seen oppression at work in the covens and groups to which I have access, I’d like to address the perception that a majority of covens and groups may indeed espouse a spirituality which privileges the feminine over the masculine. I don’t believe it’s anything like a majority, but let’s suppose that that were so.

Even if it were so, I would argue the following.

A woman-centered group, especially one as marginalized as Paganism, offers no significant challenge to the overwhelming privilege for men which I describe above as the status quo. Women are not undercutting the status quo by choosing to sometimes worship in a woman-centered way, no matter how much we might wish they were.
If a group composed largely of women creates a woman-centered space, that group is under no obligation to make that small woman-centered group as much about men as it is about women . . . any more than most men, on poker night or Superbowl Sunday, necessarily feel obliged to include women in the interest of balance. That night out—along with Parliament, Congress, Harvard, the Supreme Court, the military, the New York Times Review of Books, and the White House—is “their” space; the women who work in those places have to do things “their” way. If Paganism were “our” space (and I’ll reiterate that I don’t believe it is) , and the men who chose it did have to do things there “our” woman-centered way, that would be all right. Nor would it invalidate the argument that women deserve more space in Parliament, Congress, and so on, because those institutions affect us all in a way that Paganism does not.
This is important, so I’ll say it again in one sentence: when large, powerful male groups make little effort to accommodate or welcome women, even while they dictate the political and economic terms of women’s lives, why should small, largely unnoticed women’s groups make huge effort to accommodate men, when those groups have no effect at all on most men’s lives or privileges?

As I've mentioned, while I could be wrong about this, I have trouble believing in any description of oppressed men ignored by priestesses and feeling crushed by Goddess worship. Every group I’ve attended has included both men and women, and while I have seen more priestesses than priests, no one’s complained, and no one’s been a wallflower. In general, the men I’ve seen in Wicca have been beautifully un-dogmatic about demanding their mainstream privilege…or, if they want more privilege in Wiccan groups, they gravitate to one of the groups which give it to them, in which men preside while women bring the cakes and ale. These groups are numerous.

But even if they weren't, if a group composed largely of women creates that woman-centered group or space precisely to celebrate themselves and do woman-centered things, and men choose to join them there (without being pressured to leave, the way women are still pressured to leave man-centered groups or spaces) , the women do not have to change what they do to make the men feel more comfortable in that woman-centered space which (in most cases) Pagan women created and which the men chose to join. It is all right for there to be groups which are not primarily about men’s comfort. It is not unjust to men to spend some time talking primarily about women, when there is a whole world of venues in which to talk primarily about men.

In short, I believe that there’s a crucial error in arguing that Pagan feminism oppresses male Pagans. To many of us, male privilege looks so normal (and why shouldn’t it, when we see it so much?) that any small reduction of that privilege (focusing on the Goddess more than on the God, having more women in leadership positions in Wicca—not every religion, or most religions, just in Wicca—or using gender-neutral language) can look like an attack on men. This is why so many people are convinced that feminists hate men: because when inequity is the norm, a desire for equity reads as an attack.

Maybe it is an attack on the class structures we’ve lived with so long. But it’s not an attack on men. Woman-centered spaces (Paganism, girls’ nights out, teaching, shopping, nursing, the hairdresser’s chair) , particularly when they do in fact allow and welcome men, are no more unjust to men than male-centered spaces (the football arena, the couch in front of the football game, the courtroom, the boardroom, the Congress) are to women….immensely less so, in fact, since Paganism has little effect on non-Pagans, while Parliament and Congress have immense effects on everyone.

So I’d like to suggest that, if these considerations don’t convince us, and our Pagan group is just too woman-centered to suit us, we have at least three constructive local options available. None involve accusing some of the western hemisphere's most diverse and open-minded faiths of mass discrimination.

One, we can bring this up for discussion, and accept our group’s choice as to how to proceed. Pagans talk; we’re good at talking; some might even say we’re a little too good at talking. See what the group thinks. Ask the men if they’re dissatisfied (one kicker of male privilege is that many men feel killing pressure to be strong, authoritarian, and decisive. Some men prefer a religious space in which those roles fall more often to women and in which they can explore qualities which western culture genders as “feminine.”) Maybe a God-centered ritual once a month would satisfy everyone; maybe everyone else is already satisfied with the way things are.

Two, instead of stewing about how our priestess does things, we can do something ourselves (this is Paganism, remember? We can all dial God and Goddess direct.) We can offer to lead a ritual honoring some manifestation of the God. We can ask a few more men to join. We can do a little solitary practice to make sure Osiris isn’t feeling left out. We can even start our own covens, the only ones that might ever be just what we want. Many Pagans have done this, including men; male-centered covens, especially gay men’s covens, thrive in Wicca. I think we can all agree that that’s both great for everyone, and not too shabby for a faith that periodically gets bashed for neglecting men.

Three, if the discussion doesn’t go our way, or we’re shunned for trying to praise Cernunnos (can anyone really picture this?) , we can leave the group for one we like better. There are infinite Pagan groups which welcome men; some, of course, are dominated by men. Why not find one? Demanding that every group conform to our own preferences isn’t just dogmatic; it’s futile. Every group won’t. Why should it? And why waste our time trying to force one group t to fit us, when there may well be another across town that already does?

Whichever we choose, though, equity does not mean women radically changing a practice which appeals to (go figure) women in order to accommodate men. It does not mean giving up one of the few spaces in which women can enjoy that practice, in the name of an “equity” which is almost never reciprocated in other spaces. And it doesn’t mean changing what gives any of us joy in order to suit someone else. We shouldn’t—and we won’t—give way to demands that every group perpetuate a privilege which is already far too powerful. Let’s leave that for the Christians, who still believe that it's somehow equitable and balanced to have a Father without a Mother.

Footnotes:
Notes: In this essay I credit women with creating woman-centered Wicca and Paganism. Yes, I do know about Gerald Gardner, so if you’re sending hate mail, please skip that part. I’m thinking of the innumerable women SINCE Gardner who have formed their own covens, developed their own traditions, written their own ritual, and, often, welcomed men to their groups in a spirit of fellowship . . . and are now being told that they should change what they’ve built because it might make some men uncomfortable.

The thought in this essay owes more to more feminists of the past hundred years (and the most recent five) than I can begin to acknowledge. If you think I stole your point, write me, and if I’ve read you, I’ll credit you. It’s not an intentional theft, but these points are sometimes bandied about in context of other groups. I’m treating them, perhaps incorrectly, as being in the public domain, especially when applied to Wicca in a way that they generally don't seem to have been.

Copyright: None come right to mind.

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