Put Your Back Into It (Our Lady of the Sacred Honey Badger)
Article ID: 15417
Age Group: Adult
Days Up: 450
Times Read: 1,653
RSS Views: 15,896
Author: Deborah Castellano
Posted: May 5th. 2013
Times Viewed: 1,653
If youíre a Gen X/Y Cusp like I am, we were all supposed to be astronauts, doctors, lawyers, pop stars, best selling authors, scientists and professors. For most of us, it didnít work out. Maybe youíre lucky like me and have a mom who is willing to be proud of all of your weirdo achievements if you just give her the right keywords to crow to family (ďSteampunk ó no. No. No. Wild, Wild WestĖ No. No. Look, Iím getting interviewed by The New York Times. Yeah! Yay!Ē) But I think in the rush to make sure that we came from as much wealth and beauty (and education) as they could furnish us with, we didnít really learn how to put our backs into it.
I didnít. For all my Gen Y ďGo Team Venture!Ē-ness, I also had a healthy amount of Gen X elitism coupled with a slacker attitude about what I should be doing. I spent most of my twenties burnt out from trying to be the best, best, best that I sort of job hopped from one random job to another. Whenever I would gain momentum, something would happen Ė I would quit, get divorced, have the company fold, whatever. Being a second generation American, Iím just removed enough from my Old (Sicilian) Country roots to not know what it was like to really have to struggle and do manual labor until my thirties.
Let me assure you, if you have a mind to get in touch with that old country manual labor/struggle to make sure that all your bills are paid, youíll catch onto it fast. The lessons will be hard and painful but youíll get tricksy about it pretty quick. Nothing like fear of loss of pride/loss of home/loss of having enough food to eat to make you cunning! And weíve had to learn, Gen X/Y cusps. Because everything we were promised dried up.
This generational softness carried over into my magical practice too. I was taught a lot of really great esoteric things that gave me a spine of steel but I was also taught more about research over practice and that if the gods are charmed enough by you, you can get by on that. And you kind of can. If you want a ďnormalĒ life and you have a ďnormalĒ practice with ďnormalĒ desires and youíre smart enough to see who thinks youíre charming and who thinks youíre a jerk, you can coast on that with the gods/spirits. And I did, for a long time. Because my spiritual practices came from parts of America during a time that if you went to college, got a job in your field, showed up, didnít screw up and contributed something, you were going to be set in a career for life.
The older I get, the more I think of the old ways. About how in some ways, Iím more like my grandmother than my mom. I work long shifts doing manual labor; I spend long amounts of time cooking. The home has become more familiar to me than the office. The old ways also meant that you didnít even have to believe in magic to put the malocchia on someone, you just had to be motivated.
And maybe, a little crazy.
Because when you are doing magic, youíre getting into a chicken fight with the Universe. Only crazy people would think that they had a shot of winning that fight. But we do. All the time.
Was I feeling particularly motivated today after my third ten hour shift in a row, knowing that I will be working an even longer double tomorrow? Especially after the dress I had envisioned myself wearing for my upcoming fiber arts shows came in the mail along with the necklace and both turned out to be ill fitting? Um, no. I wanted to crawl into bed like a sane person. Who wants to bake scones after having held a sick baby for ten ***ing hours? Not me! Iím tired, people!
But I donít have time for that. I have time for craziness (Georgina Sparks, Courtney Love) and focused motivation (Parvati, Kelly Cutrone) because I have publishers wanting proposals and a start-up to start up and a craft business to run.
So I pulled myself together and washed my hands with some lemon soap and then salt. I lit my hearth space and got ready to put my back into baking scones. But not just baking! Nah, man. I didnít come here to just put on an apron. Itís magic time, yo. I put the herbs into my bowl and I focused my will to wake them up. My incantation was informal and manic.
Before this act, I wanted to have as much yarn as possible for my second fiber arts show this month. Iíve been obsessive about it in fact. Hardly surprising. Most Workers tend to be obsessive. Itís what makes us so darn charming and what wins many of our chicken fights with the Universe. I wanted to have cascades of yarn at my table so everyone would be impressed and know I MEAN SRS BIZNESS. Only, if I do that, it would mean that I wouldnít sell much at my Tea and Trunk Show, which is this weekend. As I was enchanting my scones (for said Tea and Trunk) , I realized it was awfully dumb to not want to sell as much yarn as possible where ever. So I put my back into it.
My incantation went something like: You know what? SCREW IT. I WANT TO SELL ALL MY FREAKING YARN AT THIS SHOW THIS WEEKEND! ALL OF IT! GO ON, TAKE EVERYTHING; I DARE YOU TO! I WANT YOU TO! IíLL FREAKING FIGURE SOMETHING ELSE OUT FOR THE NEXT SHOW! IíLL NUNO FELT SCARVES BETWEEN NOW AND THE NEXT SHOW EVERY FREAKING WAKING MOMENT! IíLL SELL A DOZEN FREAKING NUNO SCARVES AT THE NEXT SHOW! I DONíT CARE! IíLL SELL CANDLES AT THAT SHOW! I DON'T CARE THAT CANDLES ARENíT FIBER! ITíS NOT AGAINST THE RULES AND CHICKS LOVE CANDLES! I HAVE ALL SUMMER TO SPIN NEW YARN! LETíS MAKE SOME MAGIC, UNIVERSE! LETíS SEE WHO BLINKS FIRST! BRING. IT. ON.
So. That totally happened. And, um, weíll see where it goes.
Itís almost 8:30p and who has only had a Luna Protein bar so far today and no liquids? This girl. Motivated and crazy can be hard to tell apart. I think success is the only real difference. And I have a mind towards success. And dinner and water.
Location: , New Jersey
Author's Profile: To learn more about Deborah Castellano - Click HERE
Bio: Deborah Castellano has just published her first book, The Arte of Glamour available on Amazon (at http://www.amazon.com/The-Arte-Glamour-Deborah-Castellano/dp/1475218389) and Kindle. She blogs regularly about Witchcraft, Deportment and Faux French Living at Charmed, I'm Sure.
Other Articles: Deborah Castellano has posted 28 additional articles- View them?
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