Interfaith Relationships: Could They Be Possible?
Article ID: 10065
Age Group: Adult
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Posted: September 11th. 2005
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Over the span of my life, I’ve searched relentlessly for the other half of me. I realized at a very early age the truth about love. The abundant truth; that as there is good, there is bad, as there is light, there must also be darkness - there must be reciprocal balance. Incorporating this train of thought to the topic of love, I quickly deduced, “If I am here, there must be my counterpart somewhere on the earth.” And so began a long and enduring quest, to find the one to complete me.
In my early years, I played many different hands in the game of religion. I found each one had at least one card I didn’t agree with. I turned away from the “you must be saved” religions and found a home as a God and Goddess loving, earth-based, eclectic Pagan. I served the Lord and Lady as best as I could. I spent every waking moment reading as much as I could. I’m sure each one of you reading this remembers that time in your life. “The Wiccaning” as it is commonly called, engulfed me. I “felt” more than I ever had before. I heard the trees talking to me as I walked in the woods. Scary at first, it very quickly turned to pure joy. I found a train of thought that “clicked” something deep inside.
During a Samhain ritual in 1997, I received a message during an OBE (out of body experience). An image of a dark-eyed, dark-haired Hispanic looking woman flashed in my mind, beautiful in all her appointments. This began a journey of obsession. I found myself having recurring dreams of the same woman. My home computer made for a relentless and nerve-racking tool to find this mystery girl. Personals and profiles became my temporary companion. Other than my nocturnal search, life endured as usual. I spent every full moon begging for the Lord and Lady to release me from the search, but I was given no peace. I knew that when the time came and we laid eyes on each other, we would know. I moved from state to state, looking for my companion.
Also in 1997 my daughter was born. At the age of four, her mother came to Georgia where we were living and took her. I left the state of Georgia and went on a nation-wide search. When all else was spent, and I had no more financial resources, I found myself in New Mexico. My mother wanted to introduce me to her best friend, so I drove to her house as though I knew the route. There in the front yard was her best friend’s daughter, literally the woman of my dreams. Just as I had pictured it, there was nothing but us in that yard. The world stood still for what seemed to be an eternity. Here was the woman I had searched for. The epitome of my earthly perfection. Five months later we were married. When I had found that she was a Christian, I felt it was what was planned, so I went with the flow. I spent a lot of time pondering what lesson the God and Goddess could have for the both of us. Taking a “Pagan-hating Christian” and a “Christian-hating Pagan” and having them search the world over to find each other, one word: bewildering. I played along for some time; being as how I knew all there was to know about the Christian religion, it made it easy. Over time I subtly made references to things of a different nature. I set up an altar with a simple candle, and waited for the questions. I explained that “it helped me to focus my mind to better commune with the Divine.” That the lighting of the candle was a signal for my mind to connect with “God.” The subject was dropped. Over time I found myself getting frustrated, as I had to hide that which meant the world to me.
In one explosive moment, I found myself admitting that what she had believed to be the epitome of evil was in fact who she had married. And so the healing process began. My wife was quite shocked at first. But very understanding. She told me that I was misled, and I must come back to Jesus if I was to go to Heaven. I told her, religion is the vessel in which we all are transported through life, to the Divine. Some people feel much safer in an SUV, others in a car. Some people like blue vehicles, some like white. It’s the same with our spiritual beliefs. For all the individuals on this planet to believe that one way will work for everyone is fantastic. As long as each individual finds that perfect combination of beliefs, that brings peace and love, and the commitment to strive to better oneself and serve the Divine…who can contest that?
It’s much more important, but much like searching for the perfect vehicle. You go to a car lot, and look through all the many possible combinations, to find the one that’s right for you. You are an individual. Through all the arguments, we have come to a mutual understanding. One that has been quite fulfilling. We have studies each night, rotating who teaches, and with a mature and open mind we learn, and share. I showed her that people during the Biblical times wanted a mass conversion and so wrote that the “evil ones” were the Pagans, that was the religion of the masses. That is entirely false, and she has come to realize that. My wife is incorporating some of my beliefs and has an altar of her own, and now finds that lighting candles and incense does set a certain mood that helps her to focus. I go to church with her and pull out of it only what I want, and discard the rest. Yes, it’s not exactly easy, but the sacrifice has taught us both so much.
If you ask anyone to describe the perfect picnic, no one will answer the same. Then who’s wrong? The answer: no one. What does “God” look like to you? Is he only male with a long grey beard? Or is “God” both male and female? Does “God” work through animals to speak to us, or in the scriptures of the Bible? The only correct answers to those questions are up to you. What brings you closer to the Divine is what works for you, and no one has the right to tell you you’re wrong. Religion should not be a hassle. Love for the God (and Goddess, as I see it) should never cause anyone pain and suffering.
Just as you show only certain sides of yourself to certain people, so does the Divine. Therefore, everyone will have a different view. None of them are wrong, for the Divine has shown you only what you need to see. Embrace that vision, hold it dear, but please do not force it on others - they have their own. Besides, this action will only continue to hurt those you love. Are interfaith relationships possible? My answer is, not only are they possible, but I was shown they are encouraged.
Location: Belen, New Mexico
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