Articles/Essays From Pagans
March 1st. 2015 ...
Choosing to Write a Shadow Book
Historiolae: The Spell Within the Story
My Concept Of Grey
February 1st. 2015 ...
Seeker Advice From a Coven Leader
The Three Centers of Paganism
Magick is No Illusion
The Ancient Use of God/Goddess Surnames
The Gods of My Heart
January 1st. 2015 ...
Manipulation of the Concept of Witchcraft
The Six Most Valuable Lessons I've Learned on My Path as a Witch
Publicly Other: Witchcraft in the Suburbs
Pagans All Around Us
Broomstick to the Emerald City
October 20th. 2014 ...
Thoughts on Conjuring Spirits
A Microcosmic View of Ma'at
October 5th. 2014 ...
The History of the Sacred Circle
Abandoning Expectations and Remembering Your Roots
September 28th. 2014 ...
Seeking Pagan Lands for Pagan Burials
Creating a Healing Temple
September 20th. 2014 ...
GOD AND ME (A Pagan's Personal Reply to the New Atheists)
September 7th. 2014 ...
Deer Man- A Confounding Mystery
August 31st. 2014 ...
Coven vs. Solitary
A Strange Waking Dream
August 24th. 2014 ...
Thoughts on Cultural and Spiritual Appropriation
The Pagan Cleric
A Gathering of Sorcerers (A Strange Tale)
August 17th. 2014 ...
To Know, to Will, to Dare...
On Grief: Beacons of Light in the Shadows
August 10th. 2014 ...
As a Pagan, How Do I Represent My Path?
The Power of the Gorgon
August 3rd. 2014 ...
Are You a Natural Witch?
You Have to Believe We Are Magic...
July 27th. 2014 ...
Did I Just Draw Down the Moon?
Astrological Ages and the Great Astrological End-Time Cycle
The New Jersey Finishing School for Would-Be Glamour Girls and Boys
July 20th. 2014 ...
Being an Underage Wiccan
Greed, Power, Witches, and the Inquisition
Malleus Maleficarum - The Hammer of the Witches
Thoughts on Ghost Hunting
July 13th. 2014 ...
A World Of Witchcraft: Belief Is Only The Beginning...
From Christian to Pagan (Part III)
My Wiccan Ways...
July 6th. 2014 ...
Keys: Opening the Portals into Other Worlds
The Lore of the Door
Leaves of Love
June 29th. 2014 ...
What Does the Bible Say About Witches and Pagans?
Are You My Familiar ?
Invocations of the God and Goddess
Everything's Alright, Yes: Mary Magdalene
Results Magic and the Moral Compass
June 22nd. 2014 ...
Witchcraft vs. Religion
Christianity and Paganism: Why All Of the Fighting?
June 15th. 2014 ...
Becoming Your Own Wise One
Canine Familiars: Role of the Alpha
June 8th. 2014 ...
Moral Relativism and Wicca
Paganism in Cebu, Philippines
June 1st. 2014 ...
Rediscovering My Pagan Faith
13 Keys: The Wisdom of Chokmah
May 25th. 2014 ...
Some Differences Between Priestesses and Witches: Duties and Trials
How to Work With Your Muse
Awakening to our Celestial Nature (A Free 8-Day Course)
10 Things I Love about my Sacred Work as a Public Witch
May 18th. 2014 ...
Finding the God (From Christian to Pagan -Part II)
The Medea Within Us All
Visits from the Departed
May 11th. 2014 ...
Breaking the Law of Return
Mental and Emotional Balance- I CAN Have it!
Karma and Sin
The Sin Concept
May 4th. 2014 ...
Embracing my Inner Goddess through Belly Dance
When to Let Go...When to Hold On
Goddessy: Sorceress Speaks On Beauty
NOTE: For a complete list of articles related to this chapter... Visit the Main Index FOR this section.
Saying the "P" Word
Article ID: 13701
Age Group: Adult
Days Up: 1,839
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Posted: March 14th. 2010
Times Viewed: 4,214
Not too long ago, in the context of a charitable association I have through the coven that I co-lead, I was invited to a “thank- you” cocktail party. The experience inspired some bizarre behavior on my part. Let me explain.
Many witches and polytheists these days have an uncomfortable relationship with what is commonly called amongst many of us “the broom closet”. We are sometimes uncomfortable discussing our membership in a non-mainstream faith, despite all this “fastest growing religion” stuff we all keep quoting amongst ourselves (I keep hearing that phrase, but no one seems able to prove it very well, because the US census, as I understand it, does not keep religion data, or does not publish it, and the other metrics seem contradictory as to exactly how many or even how best to calculate this data…)
At any rate, despite the fact that I long ago firmly extricated myself and closed the door on that dusty closet and am open to family, friends, and even work colleagues, I sometimes feel the need to shield myself.
Which brings me back to the cocktail party. I was invited because our group regularly makes in-kind donations to this charity, something started by my first HPS. I left our info last year, so they contacted me, and so I went.
It was swell. Open bar, delectable snacks, and folks from across the do-gooder spectrum-postal workers, members of a Shul, (delightful couple) and teachers. This was my first such thank you event.
In retrospect, I was an idiot.
Some of the conversations I had went more or less like this:
ME: Hi, Nice to meet you. What group are you from? How did you find (charity x) (I am working on my shyness. So proud of myself here!
THEM: I am from (insert perfectly mundane group here. Local “Association of Florists”. Teachers. Postal workers.) We do an in-kind drive every year- we collect toys, clothing.
ME: That’s great. So does my group, but ours is very modest. (Biting in to tiny sliver of pizza, taking swig of vodka.)
THEM: What kind of group is that?
ME: Well… we kind of do… like… meditation…. folklore… mythology
THEM: Really? Like what?
ME: Oh, it’s just a group that hugs trees, meditates, does stuff...and I try to remind them to give back and all…
THEM: Oh. That’s nice. What is it called? What do you mean- hug trees??
ME: Ummm… how about those Mets? (Grabbing waiter for another snack)
I don’t know why, suddenly confronted with this situation, I felt the need to hide it and mumble and otherwise bury the “P” word. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that non-profit work is within my future career spectrum, and I didn’t want any raised eyebrows to go up in any kind of circle or circumstance where people with even an indirect and remote chance of impacting my future earning capacity are present.
But then, in retrospect, it occurred to me that they had the name of my group already in their files–though only my personal name was on the name tag they gave me for the reception–they had invited me with an envelope that had our group’s name on it (although spelled incorrectly) and why should I be ashamed of what I believe?
After all- wasn’t it those very beliefs that motivated me to organize our modest little in-kind donation in the first place?
I think so.
And isn’t my name already all over the Internet next to words that scream PAGAN if you truly wanted to search for it?
And even if it did impact my future career, would I want to work for an organization that subtly, and against the law, I might add, refused to hire me or promote me or otherwise utilize my skills because of my religious beliefs- when they should focus on my suitability for the job, and be rejecting me or accepting me on that basis alone? Even if I was desperate for a job and truly needed one right this second?
I realize that with my mouth and gregarious personality and enthusiasm for spirituality -- not just my own but my curiosity about others as well -- I should probably be more judicious about bringing up faith in conversation. “Religion is nobody’s business!” a fellow seeker on my path told me recently. And I suppose they are right- for them. And I mean no disrespect and try to respect other people’s wishes, even if they are contrary to what I would wish for myself.
But I have to admit- I find it hard sometimes to know what to do. To me, it seems like the only way we can start living in peace and not drive ourselves crazily unhappy in the process is to begin to deconstruct and cease the behavior that communicates that there is something wrong about being who we are, and to shield myself from you, I not am going to say what I am. Aside from the fact that it may be insulting to the listener–why should I presume they would denounce me?
How could we have begun discussing the notion of same-sex marriage as a nation if no one had avowed their identity back when the modern gay rights movement began? Seems to me that movement would have gone nowhere- instead of into the national consciousness and our state and federal legislatures.
I am not saying that this is the right stance in all times and places- of course, it is not. I am lucky- I live and work in a liberal milieu, for the most part. But for me, this is what works.
So if who I am and what I do comes up in conversation, I won’t hide the P word again, but I won’t club you with it either.
With your Permission, that is.
Location: New York, New York
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Bio: Vhelen is a witch and priestess living in New York.
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