All Things In Time
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Article ID: 15026
Age Group: Adult
Days Up: 582
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Author: Pagan Crusader
Posted: September 16th. 2012
Times Viewed: 1,619
All things in time. Those are the words that come to mind when I think of my spiritual path in Wicca. There have been many times while on my path that I wonder, "Why couldn't I have found Wicca many years earlier than when I did?" and the answer that comes to mind is "You were not ready for the truth". Which is correct. To know about my journey to Wicca, you must know about who I was before I found Wicca.
My journey to the truth began when I joined the army, but before I joined the army I was raised in a hardcore devote Catholic family. From birth, I was drilled with Christian/Catholic doctrine. I said the rosary almost every day. I went to confession every Saturday. I went to church every Sunday, and I even went to church sometimes in the morning on the weekdays. I believed in Jesus Christ and the Church with an unshakable faith… so much so that I was planning to join the seminary and become a Catholic priest.
My first encounter with paganism was in 8th grade. I was in a teen work program that provided lawn care for people around town. One of the people on my crew wore a pentacle around his neck that he made himself. I discarded it as crazy but one thing he said to me that always stuck with me was this: "That’s why you can't do anything. You are blind". I had no idea all those years ago how big a role Wicca would play in my life. I never saw that man again and I still discarded any ideas of paganism or witchcraft.
Many years passed after that and I still followed the Church with an unshakable faith. Then came my entry into the army on March 15, 2006. I joined originally for the free college education so I could join the seminary after my tour of duty in the army. But I never received any college courses in the army, no matter how hard I tried. All my NCOs’ said to me was that it was next to impossible to receive a college education in the army. The fact is that I did everything that I was ordered to do, but I just wasn't a favorite of the officers or NCOs’ and something I learned quickly was that if your not a favorite then you weren't nothing.
I was punished for things that I never did. I gave my all in everything that I did. I had all the right intentions in my heart, but it still wasn’t enough. What really sowed my seeds of doubt in the church was this: I sought the counsel of a Catholic priest but he began to act strangely around me and finally began to flirt with me. He told me that he was bisexual. He said that he was having dreams about me, and he told me about gay experiences he had in the seminary. This caused me great distress because I was raised from birth to believe that priests were to be admired and respected for the sacrifice of celibacy that they made. And it was right around this time that I met the man who changed my life forever.
The day I met this man, he was wearing a pentacle. I asked him if he was into devil worship or black magick because I had no idea what the symbol meant (it was just a right side up star in a circle) . He got aggravated at my question, but then he explained to me what it meant and what he believed in. I was intrigued by what he had to say although I was still a Christian/Catholic. We quickly became best friends. After the incident with this Catholic priest, I went to him and expressed my feelings and my distress. What he said really helped. He told me that priests are human beings too and are not perfect. I took what he said to heart and continued on with my path as a Christian/Catholic.
After a little while of distancing myself from that priest, I thought I would try to blend Christianity and Wicca. It was an interesting challenge, but in the meantime my stint in the army grew worse as time passed. Punished for things I never did. Told that it would be better if I were dead. Finally I was kicked out of the army and sent home (my unit had the highest rate of awol and suicides than in any other company on base) . When I came home, I felt like someone just had played a very cruel joke on me.
Soon though, the man who became my best friend became more than that. He is my teacher, my mentor, and my brother. He is also a third-degree High Priest. When people ask me about my path to Wicca, I tell everyone the same thing: he showed me a door to endless possibilities and I choose to walk through. If I never had met this man, I would still be on my old Christian path and miserable at the same time.
You see, I did try to become Christian/Catholic again when I first came home, but I couldn't believe as I once did. There were to many unanswered questions that I had in regards to my experience and time in the army. One major question that I had was, "Why did this happen? What did I do to deserve this?" I thought to myself, “ Why did this happen to me when all I wanted was to devote my life to Christ and help others in the Lord’s' name?” I thought to myself. "Is this my reward? Is this my thanks for my faith and devotion?”
I had too many unanswered questions and not enough answers. I prayed for a while begging for an answer… until it finally dawned on me. The only time I was happy, the only time I felt any measure of peace was when I was a practicing Wiccan. So it was from that moment forth that I decided to leave my Christian/Catholic past behind and start a new future. I have been very happy and at peace. Of course, life is filled with its obstacles and heartaches, but if there is anything I have learned, it is that everything in life that occurs happens for a reason. With every bad thing, there is positive offset.
Our religion is based on balance. We have Goddess. We have God. We have summer festivals, and we have winter festivals. It's all balance. With the bad, there is good. With the light, there is dark. I have learned a lot throughout these years and there are still times that I wonder to myself "Why couldn't I have found Wicca years before all this trouble?" But it's then that I hear the divine voice say, "You weren't ready to hear the truth".
All things in time.
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