Articles/Essays From Pagans
February 1st. 2019 ...
Paganism and Witchcraft in the Media
September 25th. 2018 ...
Understanding the Unseen
August 25th. 2018 ...
A Little Magickal History
Men and the Goddess
Back to Basics Witchcraft: Magical Creativity for Small Living Spaces
Kitchen Magic and Memories
Why the Faeries?
Magic in Daily Life
An Open Fire: Healing from Within
Cernunnos: The Darkest Wood in the Moon's Light
Gudrun of the Victory Gods
Ares and Athena
La Santa Muerte... The Stigma and the Strength
The Lady on the Stairs
The Wheel of the Year in Our Daily Lives
July 26th. 2018 ...
The Importance of Unification: Bringing Together Community Members to Invoke Cohesivity
May 29th. 2018 ...
Wild Mountain Woman: Landscape Goddess
April 20th. 2018 ...
Nazis Made Us Change Our Name
January 25th. 2018 ...
Finding Balance: Discipline Wedded to Devotion
November 15th. 2017 ...
September 30th. 2017 ...
July 31st. 2017 ...
Sin Eaters and Dream Walkers
July 2nd. 2017 ...
On Cursing: Politics and Ethos
June 1st. 2017 ...
The Sacred Ego in Mediterranean Magical Traditions
April 30th. 2017 ...
Tarot Talk: the Knight of Pentacles
March 30th. 2017 ...
Tarot Talk: the Ace of Swords
January 10th. 2017 ...
The Gray of 'Tween
Becoming a Sacred Dancer
Little Dog, Big Love
December 9th. 2016 ...
A Child's First Yule
November 10th. 2016 ...
What Exactly Is Witchcraft?
A Witch in the Bible Belt: Questions are Opportunities
On Death and Passing: Compassion Burnout in Healers and Shamans
What I Get from Cooking (And How it’s Part of My Path)
September 11th. 2016 ...
The Shadow of Disgust
August 12th. 2016 ...
When Reality Rattles your Idea of the Perfect Witch
Hungarian Belief in Fairies
Designing a Pagan Last Will and Testament
July 13th. 2016 ...
What Every Pagan Should Know About Curses
Magic With A Flick of my Finger
Finding and Caring for Your Frame Drum
An Open Mind and Heart
June 13th. 2016 ...
Living a Magickal Life with Fibromyalgia
My Father, My First God
Life is Awesome... and the Flu
May 15th. 2016 ...
Faery Guided Journey
Working with the Elements
April 2nd. 2016 ...
The Fear of Witchcraft
Magic in Sentences
March 28th. 2016 ...
Revisiting The Spiral
January 22nd. 2016 ...
Coming Out of the Broom Closet
December 20th. 2015 ...
Magia y Wicca
October 24th. 2015 ...
Feeling the Pulse of Autumn
October 16th. 2015 ...
Sacred Lands, Sacred Hearts
September 30th. 2015 ...
September 16th. 2015 ...
Vegan or Vegetarian? The Ethical Debate
August 6th. 2015 ...
Lost - A Pagan Parent's Tale
July 9th. 2015 ...
Love Spells: The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly
The Magic of Weather
June 7th. 2015 ...
A Pagan Altar
A Minority of a Minority of a Minority
May 6th. 2015 ...
13 Keys: The Crown of Kether
March 29th. 2015 ...
A Thread in the Tapestry of Witchcraft
March 28th. 2015 ...
On Wiccan Magick, Theurgy, Thaumaturgy and Setting Expectations
March 1st. 2015 ...
Choosing to Write a Shadow Book
February 1st. 2015 ...
Seeker Advice From a Coven Leader
January 1st. 2015 ...
Manipulation of the Concept of Witchcraft
Broomstick to the Emerald City
October 20th. 2014 ...
Thoughts on Conjuring Spirits
October 5th. 2014 ...
The History of the Sacred Circle
September 28th. 2014 ...
Seeking Pagan Lands for Pagan Burials
Creating a Healing Temple
August 31st. 2014 ...
Coven vs. Solitary
August 24th. 2014 ...
The Pagan Cleric
A Gathering of Sorcerers (A Strange Tale)
August 17th. 2014 ...
To Know, to Will, to Dare...
On Grief: Beacons of Light in the Shadows
NOTE: For a complete list of articles related to this chapter... Visit the Main Index FOR this section.
Why I'm a Witch
Article Specs |
Article ID: 4045
Age Group: Adult
Days Up: 6,215
Times Read: 5,126
Author: Talma Stormphoenix
Posted: March 15th. 2002
Times Viewed: 5,126
I think my first clue that I was different was my just being a "nature kid". I never, and I mean NEVER, wanted to wear shoes! Every summer until I was twelve or thirteen I was bare-foot! It was nothing to go into the woods and just stay there all day eating berries and watching for animals and just enjoying the sound of the leaves in the breeze and animals running around.
I was taught by my grandfather to respect animals because if you're mean to an animal then you'll be mean to anyone you think can't speak up for themselves and the older I get the more I see how true that is. No one I've ever known that has been cruel to an animal or just looking at them like "it's just a dumb animal". I've found that most people like that don't have much respect for anything. That's not to say you have to be a tree hugger (nothing wrong with that if you are) but just a basic respect for things living is there when people have a basic respect for living things whether they're Pagan or not.
I grew up in the Catholic church and by the time I was 15 I just had a basic dissatisfaction with everything that I saw. Why was the service indoors? Why did they have to have all this standing, sitting and kneeling? If I wanted a workout I'd have joined an aerobics class! Why can't the service be outside sometimes? And why, if all these people are supposed to be trying to be "godly", are they staring at me like they don't want me here?
I realized that most of the church stuff is very superficial but it was the start of my dissatisfaction with the faith I was raised in. Most of it came from within my own family. I couldn't understand how if given a choice you could be punished for doing one thing instead of another. It sounded like a trick question to me and I didn't like how when I asked about something I rarely if ever got a straight answer. Usually I got "What's wrong with you questioning God?". The thing is I didn't think I was questioning God. I could have sworn I was questioning people about God. They didn't see that though and I spent a few years dealing with those "looks" that said "Oh yeah, she's going to hell". Of course that was another question altogether! lol I mean really! Why is there a hell in the first place?
When I was about fifteen years old I quit going to church. My grandmother was seriously upset about it and would ask me "Aren't you afraid of going to hell?". My response? You guessed it "No." I mean the way I figured it we started out in "hell" in order to get to heaven! Well that was my thinking at the time. I've come to the conclusion that yes there's an after life. It's for everybody but the heaven vs. hell thing is what we make of this planet.
At this point I just knew that I wasn't happy being a Christian. I didn't know why but I knew enough to know that I needed to get myself away from the environment. I didn't know what was right but I sure knew what was wrong! It took me a few more years to start finding out what was calling to me. I started out with Tarot cards. I had seen one too many cult films about Ouija boards to get one of those but the cards seemed safe. Just a word, I now do have a "talking" board. :)
In the summer of '95 I started going online. At first it was just seeing what all was out there but then my focus went toward Witchcraft. As afraid of it as I was I still didn't know what it was and I had made up my mind that I wasn't going to be afraid of something I knew nothing about so I started looking. Most of what I found was a little confusing because quite frankly I didn't know anything!
When I went into chat rooms and that made me even more confused! I thought about giving up because there was a few (not most, just a few) people that made it clear when they found out that you were a newbie they made no attempts to hide their I-know-more-than-you-do attitudes. I finally went back into the New Age section of the store and found a book that a friend's brother had let me borrow a few years before. Buckland's Complete Book of Witchcraft, affectionately know as, Big Blue.
That was my start. The reading wasn't what I was looking for but it did give me my start. Since then I've read everything I could get my hands on from Silver RavenWolf to Scott Cunningham to Margo Adler to The Complete Idiot's Guide to Wicca and Witchcraft! My library still isn't complete by a long shot but it is steadily growing. In the past two years I've done the one thing almost every Witch, Wiccan and Pagan has ever said, read, read, read, and I have no plans of stopping.
The best thing that I've found is that I no longer have this the-world-is-falling-down-around-me feelings. I couldn't understand how I could have this almost overpowering feeling that I'm here to do something and be so confused about something that I thought should be so basic! And it was basic. I was just too afraid to look. Now that I have looked I know who I am. I know what has been calling me and I'm glad. It explains a whole lot, most of which I haven't even touched on here but you get the idea.
Recently I, with a few friends, have had to defend our right to be Witches. Those that have claimed the superior right of their faith have not even tried to see things from our view while we all have come from those points of view having been raised in them. I'm actually thankful to have been given this opportunity. I've learned many things that I otherwise would not have know or even suspected. I have again been given the opportunity to see that Wicca/Witchcraft/Paganism is an ongoing, evolving and never ending journey that is filled with new things to learn all the time. We've come to the point that we don't stay there because of those that don't agree with us, that would be like talking to a brick wall and telling it to become water! We are still there because there are those that have no clue what Wiccans/Witches/Pagans are all about and we are doing our best to make sure that the information is there for those who wish to learn. Like Mulder said "The truth is out there"
Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
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