Article ID: 15865
Age Group: Adult
Days Up: 171
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Author: Fairy Lass
Posted: January 10th. 2017
Times Viewed: 2,921
Claiming motherhood is no small or easy task. It all begins with accepting that you are no longer a child. No longer flying solo, and no longer keeping up with only yourself and/or your spouse. I became a mother when my husband and I conceived our first child, whom was born in 2012. However, I never truly felt like a mother. I still felt like there was something else that was missing. What could be missing though? In 2014, I gave birth to our second child, whom was born in this world naturally, without a hospital and the hustle and bustle of the city. It was during this second pregnancy that I started to feel more and more like a natural mother.
My, my, my...how time has flown. My oldest child, A is turning magically 3 and my youngest, R is celebrating the first year. Mothering has been both natural and difficult. However, I find that I couldn't ask for a different life. Most people would wonder how any mother finds time, let alone be a magical mommy. It's a balancing act. Between the children, chores, husband, job, and trying to find a point in the day or night to relax and bring myself into nature. For many months I struggled with this...until this Mother's Day weekend. While my youngest was napping, my oldest decided that being inside was boring. So, like any other nature loving mom, I took my oldest outside to play. Once outside, the magic started.
My oldest and I ran out into the grass and played among the clovers and ran around the trees. We played with the grass cuttings and laughed. Then, this blessed child of mine took up a fallen maple branch. Still with leaves attached, my child began waving his stick and began waving it around the garden and trees. A then looked at me and waved the maple branch around me. It was then that the air and early evening sky stirred with power. I felt energized and just had to start moving faster. I started to jump higher and run quicker. A and I stayed out until way past dinner. That's when I realized that there is no point in keeping magic to myself. I don't have to keep silent about it. I can talk openly about magic to the ones I love the most: my children.
Although I do have to keep up the juggling for my husband, being that he was brought up in a controlling and Christian household. Even though he no longer goes to church, reads a bible, or prays anymore, I still must respect his comfort level. If I wish for him to accept me the way I am as I am, I must also accept him the way he is as he is. Even if he does choose to acknowledge other paths and/or traditions, I find that it is useful to keep a balance between us. As I remind him once in a great while, "One never knows the path we find ourselves on until we have started walking it."
My path is Hawaiian spiritualism with a mixture of Celtic tradition. I found my Hawaiian spiritualism while I was seven years old and living with my grandparents in the Hawaiian Islands. My grandfather being nearly full native Hawaiian, and being named after a Hawaiian priestess, I have always stayed on the native Hawaiian path. Then, I was faced with a loud sign from the universe.
A sudden urge to listen to Celtic music, hearing whispers with an Irish accent, slipping in and out of an Irish and Scottish accent, and seeing Celtic knots within my garden. So, how do I mix the Celtic path into my parenting plan? It will be an interesting walk on this path. For now, I will be continuing my Hawaiian shaman practices and steadily integrating the Celtic practices into my life and parenting ways while still keeping a comfortable balance for my magically mundane husband.
Now, let's put the spiritualism aside and simply talk about parenting in general. It is never going to be easy, however we must always view it as a learning experience. Sometimes, we may fail in a certain task. However, we should always learn from our attempts and go challenge ourselves more. This is very true with children. They are not only here to learn from us but also for us to learn from them. My children taught me patience, cleanliness, organization, and to let some things go. Among other lessons, I look at my children as my equals. Some things they know how to do already, and other things they need to be shown.
How do I treat my kids as equals? I treat them like people. When my almost three year old is in the wrong, I tell him in a tone that I also use with my friends, coworkers, and spouse. This not only allows A learn to adjust his mood and behavior, it also lets A know that I do not consider myself any better or worse. Ever since we brought A into the world, I've had a very difficult time seeing infants and children as children. I've naturally viewed them as tiny people. Most adults have told me that this method of parenting was odd and not the right way. Well, it's my way, and I've always been called odd so this was right for me.
Around the time of my second pregnancy, I started to think that maybe my parenting plan wasn't the correct way to raise my child. So I made a change. I started to follow the crowd, when it came to parenting until my coworker, out of the blue told me that she loves to treat kids like they're her equal. Just like people.
O.K. Universe, I get it. And I wish I had never made that change but we live and we learn. I have gone back to treating my kids as my equals and teaching them how to be tiny people that are still growing. Teaching them how to have respect for others and themselves. My oldest loves to play with the toys I keep out and started to clean up the toy mess and any other messes that occur. A has good days and bad days, and so do adults. I just tell A that it's going to be o.k. Tomorrow is a new day.
What do I gain from treating kids as people? Probably not much. However I do lose quite a lot with this practice. I lose stress, anger, illnesses, and a few chores. I'd say those are losses I can live with. Now, before you start to judge me, I allow kids to be kids while still being treated as people. I treat children with respect, patience, and well wishing. That is, after all, what most adults should be treated to.
Many blessing to those who read this. May the Elements bring you peace, bliss, and happiness. Until next we meet, my friends.
Location: Shelbyville, Tennessee
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