Articles/Essays From Pagans
May 19th. 2013 ...
The Role of Identity in Magic
Talking Trash? It's a Dirty Subject but Waste Happens.
My Wiccan Journey
13 Keys: The Victory of Netzach
May 12th. 2013 ...
Pagan Studies I: How Should We Define Modern Paganism?
The Third Path
Nothing Special... Part Two
May 5th. 2013 ...
The Value of Multicultural Awareness
Put Your Back Into It (Our Lady of the Sacred Honey Badger)
Moon Musings, Planetary Preponderances and Red Lipped Bat Fish
April 28th. 2013 ...
Lessons from the Lessers: Iris
April 21st. 2013 ...
Taken By The Goddess: The Crescent Moon Tattoo
The Gods/Being Godbothered
To Be A Witch
The Archetypes are Gods: Re-godding the Archetypes
April 14th. 2013 ...
On The Inclusion of Children
'Wand Fun' With Grandson
Lessons from a Baby
Lessons of Freedom: On Divinity and Healing
April 7th. 2013 ...
Out of the Broom Closet... Sorta
A Journey Through the Witches Tarot
History and Science Behind Numerology
March 31st. 2013 ...
What is the Magickal Self?
Ethics and Numerology
March 24th. 2013 ...
Keystones of the Sacred Land
March 17th. 2013 ...
Why Some Pagans and Witches Still Hide
Witch Heritage 101: What Happens When Witch Haters Joke about anti-Witch Films
I'm Not a Broom. So What's with the Closet?
March 10th. 2013 ...
Top Ten Stupid Things I Did as a New Pagan: Part 3
Hunting for the Real Witch in Film
The Collective Shadow
Lies - The Opposite of Truth
March 3rd. 2013 ...
Grounding and Releasing Negative Energy
A Patchwork of Magick
February 24th. 2013 ...
Top Ten Stupid Mistakes I Made as a New Pagan (Part Two)
February 17th. 2013 ...
Top Ten Stupid Mistakes I made as a New Pagan... Part One
Gardening with Crystal Energies
A Call from the Ancestors
Moon Musings, Planetary Preponderances and Black Water Snakes
February 10th. 2013 ...
We Are the Weirdos, Mister: A Completely Uncool Story of Origin
February 3rd. 2013 ...
"I'll Grind Your Bones to Make my Bread": Pagans and Animal Husbandry
The Role of Contemporary Culture in Magic
A Pagan Response to Endangered Earth
The Great Mother's Gift, Heinlein, and the Nature of Squirrels
13 Keys: The Glory of Hod
January 27th. 2013 ...
Why We Do Need Wicca
The Cosmos In the Coffee Shop
On Travel Spirituality and Magick
January 20th. 2013 ...
Beloved Backs and How to Save Them
Building or Burning Bridges?
Plants, Magic and Intuition
Plagiarism - How It Harms Our Community
January 13th. 2013 ...
Ramblings of a Pagan Guy: Stupid Clichés
The Magick and Power of Words
Aging Is Not Easy
The Riddle of Who We Are?
January 6th. 2013 ...
Wicca v Witchcraft
A Witch in the Closet
How Many People Can You Fit Under An Umbrella?
Gut Hunches, Mouse Dreams, and Pinkie Sense
December 30th. 2012 ...
Ritual "Cheat Sheet" Bracelet
Magick is All Around Us
Confessions of a Living Satyr
A Tiny Bit of Belly Dance History
December 23rd. 2012 ...
The Warrior Goddess and You.
World Change: A Message from Greece
What's the Meaning of Life, Anyway?
My Brother's Keeper
December 16th. 2012 ...
Keeping Christ in Xmas
Love is the Law
Listen to Your Heart's Wisdom
NOTE: For a complete list of articles related to this chapter... Visit the Main Index FOR this section.
Love, Dating and the Modern Witch
Article ID: 14678
Age Group: Adult
Days Up: 642
Times Read: 3,189
RSS Views: 16,081
Author: Bran Cinnaedh
Posted: August 21st. 2011
Times Viewed: 3,189
When it comes to dating, disclosing the particular religion or spirituality you happen to follow would seem to be relatively unimportant. In the overall grand scheme of things, it would seem that having a basic connection is more important, and there are plenty of different topics to discuss before even thinking about bringing up the subject. After all, how often do religious views come into play during the first three dates? The first five?
If I had to make a general estimate, I would say that they don’t. Unless you make it a deciding criterion in finding someone, such issues are not as important. This seems even truer when you look at the LGBT or queer community. There is a general assumption that we all tend to either follow a spiritual path, or something other than Christianity, as most of us are probably too scarred from earlier experiences with ostracism and bullying, or we’re still battling inner demons of guilt or inadequacy.
But the question still stands: When dating someone, when do you reveal your religious or spiritual leanings? For the most part, many online dating and other social sites take the guesswork out, letting you fill that information in from the get-go. This system generally has two manifestations, with either (a) choosing Wicca or (b) choosing the more generic “Spiritual.” But each of these two issues can present new predicaments.
With the first point, it doesn’t seem too major, until you remember that in a spiritual movement that emphasizes the importance of forging a personal path, semantics can play a major role. While there are those who identify as Wiccan, there are just as many, if not more, who do not use that identifier. Perhaps they choose the term Witch, Pagan, Neopagan, Heathen; the list could, in fact, be almost inexhaustible.
When it comes to the term “Spiritual, ” while it adheres to the idea of being politically correct, there is something almost troubling, not just about the generality, but also the attitudes and assumptions that seem to go along with it. For whatever reason, it seems that many people see the “Spiritual” label as a lack of focus or dedication. As Witches, Wiccans, Pagans, or whatever term we choose to identify by, we know that there could be nothing farther from the truth.
These, of course, are only the initial issues. After all, there is no guarantee that anyone actually will see this information, nor is it certain that we won’t decide to just leave it blank. If either of these is true, then there are some other issues that must be taken into consideration.
Dating opens up our personal space to another person. As Witches, our altars are an important part of that personal space. Many of us have semi-permanent altars, while some of us have adopted more temporary altars out of need for space or other considerations. In either case, there is the lingering question about what happens when your significant other just happens to walk in and see your altar. There are the obvious questions, and then it becomes a battle against Hollywood fantasies and social stereotypes if you aren’t lucky.
Holidays are another issue. While some of the Sabbats are fortunate enough to line up with other mainstream interpretations, there are others that lack this synchronicity. The more long-term the relationship, the more likely, it would seem, that you would be questioned about why you disappear to “go camping” or “meet up” with “friends” that your significant other may have never met. Before too long, jealousy and suspicion are likely to kick in, and after that point, it’s liable to take more than a simple plea for space to alleviate those concerns.
Let’s say that you decide to introduce your significant other to members of your coven. And let’s suppose that while they are going along with this, they become aware of how involved you all are in one another’s lives. A new series of questions comes into play, as they worry about how much you’ve told your coven-mates about them, about your relationship. It may be viewed as a breach of trust.
One could say that there is a similar issue when it comes to your personal Book of Shadows. While the overall content depends upon your own tastes and predilections, some, if not most of us will also include personal musings, rantings even. Should a significant other happen to stumble across your Book of Shadows, one would hope that he/she is mature enough to keep from reading, but, as we are all human, there is as much likelihood that such will not be the case.
So much of dating is founded in uncertainty. After all, we cannot predict the other person’s behavior. At some point, we have to open up about things, whether we want to or not. Generally, we hope for the former. That seems to be easier to deal with, at least on a personal level. This is true for any number of issues, but in the interest of this article, it’s restricted to our identity as Witch or Pagan.
However it comes out, if the person reacts poorly, and decides that it’s a deal breaker, then I guess you know that they really weren’t the guy or girl for you. And when it comes to those people who avoid you because they see it on your profile, remember: it’s their loss, not yours. Those people have allowed that one label to become the entirety of who you are. And while we understand that our identity as Witch or Pagan informs the many aspects of our lives, we are also aware of the fact that we are ultimately so much more. There are some people out there willing to see the same as we do, regardless of their own identifiers. And then there’s always the possibility that we will find a nice Witch or Pagan to settle down with. There’s no definitive answer to the situation. You just can’t rule out any possibilities.
Copyright: This article is originally located at : http://shadesongs.wordpress.com/2011/07/20/love-dating-and-the-modern-witch/ Reprinted here by the author.
Location: Dallas, Texas
Author's Profile: To learn more about Bran Cinnaedh - Click HERE
Other Articles: Bran Cinnaedh has posted 3 additional articles- View them?
Other Listings: To view ALL of my listings: Click HERE
Email Bran Cinnaedh... (No, I have NOT opted to receive Pagan Invites! Please do NOT send me anonymous invites to groups, sales and events.)
Web Site Content (including: text - graphics - html - look & feel)
Copyright 1997-2013 The Witches' Voice Inc. All rights reserved
Note: Authors & Artists retain the copyright for their work(s) on this website.
Unauthorized reproduction without prior permission is a violation of copyright laws.
Website structure, evolution and php coding by Fritz Jung on a Macintosh G5.
Any and all personal political opinions expressed in the public listing sections (including, but not restricted to, personals, events, groups, shops, Wrenâ€™s Nest, etc.) are solely those of the author(s) and do not reflect the opinion of The Witchesâ€™ Voice, Inc. TWV is a nonprofit, nonpartisan educational organization.
Sponsorship: Visit the Witches' Voice Sponsor Page for info on how you
can help support this Community Resource. Donations ARE Tax Deductible.
The Witches' Voice carries a 501(c)(3) certificate and a Federal Tax ID.
Mail Us: The Witches' Voice Inc., P.O. Box 341018, Tampa, Florida 33694-1018 U.S.A.
of The World
NOTE: The essay on this page contains the writings and opinions of the listed author(s) and is not necessarily shared or endorsed by the Witches' Voice inc.
The Witches' Voice does not verify or attest to the historical accuracy contained in the content of this essay.
All WitchVox essays contain a valid email address, feel free to send your comments, thoughts or concerns directly to the listed author(s).