Articles/Essays From Pagans
February 1st. 2019 ...
Paganism and Witchcraft in the Media
September 25th. 2018 ...
Understanding the Unseen
August 25th. 2018 ...
A Little Magickal History
Men and the Goddess
Back to Basics Witchcraft: Magical Creativity for Small Living Spaces
Kitchen Magic and Memories
Why the Faeries?
Magic in Daily Life
An Open Fire: Healing from Within
Cernunnos: The Darkest Wood in the Moon's Light
Gudrun of the Victory Gods
Ares and Athena
La Santa Muerte... The Stigma and the Strength
The Lady on the Stairs
The Wheel of the Year in Our Daily Lives
July 26th. 2018 ...
The Importance of Unification: Bringing Together Community Members to Invoke Cohesivity
May 29th. 2018 ...
Wild Mountain Woman: Landscape Goddess
April 20th. 2018 ...
Nazis Made Us Change Our Name
January 25th. 2018 ...
Finding Balance: Discipline Wedded to Devotion
November 15th. 2017 ...
September 30th. 2017 ...
July 31st. 2017 ...
Sin Eaters and Dream Walkers
July 2nd. 2017 ...
On Cursing: Politics and Ethos
June 1st. 2017 ...
The Sacred Ego in Mediterranean Magical Traditions
April 30th. 2017 ...
Tarot Talk: the Knight of Pentacles
March 30th. 2017 ...
Tarot Talk: the Ace of Swords
January 10th. 2017 ...
The Gray of 'Tween
Becoming a Sacred Dancer
Little Dog, Big Love
December 9th. 2016 ...
A Child's First Yule
November 10th. 2016 ...
What Exactly Is Witchcraft?
A Witch in the Bible Belt: Questions are Opportunities
On Death and Passing: Compassion Burnout in Healers and Shamans
What I Get from Cooking (And How it’s Part of My Path)
September 11th. 2016 ...
The Shadow of Disgust
August 12th. 2016 ...
When Reality Rattles your Idea of the Perfect Witch
Hungarian Belief in Fairies
Designing a Pagan Last Will and Testament
July 13th. 2016 ...
What Every Pagan Should Know About Curses
Magic With A Flick of my Finger
Finding and Caring for Your Frame Drum
An Open Mind and Heart
June 13th. 2016 ...
Living a Magickal Life with Fibromyalgia
My Father, My First God
Life is Awesome... and the Flu
May 15th. 2016 ...
Faery Guided Journey
Working with the Elements
April 2nd. 2016 ...
The Fear of Witchcraft
Magic in Sentences
March 28th. 2016 ...
Revisiting The Spiral
January 22nd. 2016 ...
Coming Out of the Broom Closet
December 20th. 2015 ...
Magia y Wicca
October 24th. 2015 ...
Feeling the Pulse of Autumn
October 16th. 2015 ...
Sacred Lands, Sacred Hearts
September 30th. 2015 ...
September 16th. 2015 ...
Vegan or Vegetarian? The Ethical Debate
August 6th. 2015 ...
Lost - A Pagan Parent's Tale
July 9th. 2015 ...
Love Spells: The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly
The Magic of Weather
June 7th. 2015 ...
A Pagan Altar
A Minority of a Minority of a Minority
May 6th. 2015 ...
13 Keys: The Crown of Kether
March 29th. 2015 ...
A Thread in the Tapestry of Witchcraft
March 28th. 2015 ...
On Wiccan Magick, Theurgy, Thaumaturgy and Setting Expectations
March 1st. 2015 ...
Choosing to Write a Shadow Book
February 1st. 2015 ...
Seeker Advice From a Coven Leader
January 1st. 2015 ...
Manipulation of the Concept of Witchcraft
Broomstick to the Emerald City
October 20th. 2014 ...
Thoughts on Conjuring Spirits
October 5th. 2014 ...
The History of the Sacred Circle
September 28th. 2014 ...
Seeking Pagan Lands for Pagan Burials
Creating a Healing Temple
August 31st. 2014 ...
Coven vs. Solitary
August 24th. 2014 ...
The Pagan Cleric
A Gathering of Sorcerers (A Strange Tale)
August 17th. 2014 ...
To Know, to Will, to Dare...
On Grief: Beacons of Light in the Shadows
NOTE: For a complete list of articles related to this chapter... Visit the Main Index FOR this section.
Article ID: 3582
Age Group: Adult
Days Up: 6,435
Times Read: 6,232
Author: RuneWolf [a WitchVox Sponsor]
Posted: August 12th. 2001
Times Viewed: 6,232
In 1993 I got sober. Prior to that event, my spiritual life was vague, to say the least. I left the Methodist Church in my mid-teens, not in anger but rather in frustration at what I would now characterize as a growing secularization within the Church. While there was much attention paid to worthy causes within the local, national and world communities, I personally felt that there was little attention paid to the Mysteries that I had always, intuitively, felt were central to a religious life.
By my late teens and early twenties, I had developed a personal spiritual concept that included, at least tacitly, the Goddess. My thinking at the time was: "If God is omni-everything, then He can be She if He/She wants to." I remember seeing the feminist bumper-sticker in the late '70s that read "God is coming, and boy is She pissed!" and thinking how logical that waswhy should the Supreme Spirit be limited by gender?
Unfortunately, my spiritual search soon ran aground on the shoals of alcoholism, and would remain marooned there until May, 1993, when I got sober. I wasn't an avowed Pagan at that time, but I know my spirit was crying out to my unknown Higher Power for help.
Even being nominally non-Christian, I immediately took to the waters of AA. While recognizing the indisputably Christian origins of the program, I seized upon the strong foundation of spiritual tolerance that keeps the fellowship standing. When I was presented with the words "God, as we understand Him, " I knew in my heart that Him could be Her, and that I had found a spiritual path roomy enough to allow my long-stifled spiritual life to blossom.
And blossom it did. I was soon involved in shamanic practices, and from there slowly entered the online Craft community, and eventually became an initiated Witch.
But it wasn't a completely seamless and pain-free process. I had my moments of doubt and trial, and what I have written above sets the stage for the two stories I am about to relate.
One Friday night, in my third year of sobriety, just before a late AA meeting I arrived early at the community center, and sat for a while, by myself, under the full moon. I was having grave doubts about whether or not I should actively pursue the Pagan path, and as I sat there in the moonlight, my heart was aching with equal parts longing and uncertainty. So I looked up at the moon, and said something to the effect of: "My Lady, I know you don't do requests, but right now I really need some reassurance. If this is the right path for me, please send me a sign."
And I waited. And, of course, nothing happened. No shooting stars, no earthquakes, no visitations. So I sighed heavily, and went on into the meeting.
To my complete and utter shock, the second person to share that night was a young woman who said: "I just got sober, but I'm having a hard time relating to all this 'God' stuff because I'm Pagan."
All the hair on my bodyand that is quite a bitstood on end, and I knew in that instant that I had just gotten my sign. I didn't have long to bask in the afterglow, however, because as soon as the young woman shared, she was set upon by a couple of fundies who ridiculed her spirituality, and insisted that she could never really get sober until she "found Jesus." I had about 10 seconds to decide if I was going to sit and say nothing, or stand up and be counted. Considering the fact that, against all rationality, I had just had a prayer answered in specific detail, I felt I had no choice. I took the floor, and informed the fundies that AA does not, in fact, require that anyone "find Jesus" in order to get sober, that we are a spiritual fellowship, not a religious one, and that if they insisted on berating people in meetings for their spiritual beliefs, we could all "discuss the matter" in the parking lot.
Oddly enough, no one took me up on my offer.
Please don't misunderstand memy reaction was probably no more appropriate than that of the fundies, and I make no claim to being "right." But in that moment I was infuriated at the naked prejudice that was being displayed in a fellowship whose very lifeblood is tolerance. I don't know which part of me was more offendedthe AA member or the Pagan.
Sadly, I never saw that young woman again. Even though things calmed down a bit, she left the meeting early. I followed her to the parking lot, and tried to assure her that what she had just been subjected to was not AA. She promised to be at the same meeting the next Friday, but I haven't seen her since. I hope she has found her way and her peace.
Whether she did or not, she made a tremendous difference in my life that night. Perhaps she never was there, except as an avatar of the Goddess...
Years later, after serving as Priest at a public ritual, I was suddenly and unaccountably overcome by the desire to drink. I sank down on a nearby bench, because the desire was so strong I knew that I would never make it home without stopping somewhere for that fatal first drink.
And then the Priestess with whom I had served during the ritual came up to me and said "I wanted to give you this, in thanks for all you have done today."
She put something in my hand, and walked away. When I looked, I was holding a medallion that consisted of a pentaclethe symbol of my faithwithin a circle and trianglethe symbol of recovery. Once again, all the hair on my body stood at attention, and I felt the undeniable and immediate presence of the Goddess. I can't say that it was easy, but with that medallion around my neck, I somehow found the strength to make it home without drinking.
There is a tenet in AA that says "In this world, nothing happens by accident." Still, I could look at the two instances above, and easily write them off to coincidence. But to me, that would be stretching the definition of 'coincidence' a bit too far. I still have my times of doubt and trialI'm going through a very hellish one right now. But in the deep dark hours of the night, when I look back on these particular occurrences, I cannot deny that I have been brushed by the wings of the Goddess more than once in my life.
In Their Service,
Location: Reston, Virginia
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