Articles/Essays From Pagans
March 2nd. 2014 ...
Lessons of Ostara: Six Ways to Move Forward
The Wiccan Priest - The Misunderstood Role
Which is Which? Am I a Warlock or a Witch?
The Secret Teaching: Selected Aspects
February 23rd. 2014 ...
Wicca or Traditional Witchcraft: Some Differences
Everything is Not Under Your Control: Making Sense of the Senseless
The Wonders and Gifts of Paganism and Community
What Makes Us What We Are
February 16th. 2014 ...
Death, Grief, and Psychopomp Work in Shamanic Healing
The Stones of Fear: Anxiety Relief
Spiritual Traveler: Form To Essence
Alternative Medicine – What Is It?
February 9th. 2014 ...
Words of Power!
The Allure of Glamour in the Apocolypse
Lunar Insight Planetary Preponderances: Year of the Horse, Imbolc and Mercury Grazings
February 2nd. 2014 ...
The Magick of Jewelry and Metals
Building a Magick Mirror
The Golden Bough: a Study Guide (Part 2)
January 26th. 2014 ...
Love of Self: The Hardest Thing To Do
The Golden Bough as a Seminal Work in the Neo Pagan Movement (Part 1)
13 Keys: The Mercy of Chesed
Lightworking In The Screen Age: Staying Connected
January 19th. 2014 ...
Open Letter to the Goddess
A Southern Girl's Guide to Hospitality
Social Conventions and the Pagan World
January 12th. 2014 ...
Never Once Was There a An Athame Near My Chalice: My Very Sheltered Occultist Upbringing
One Wiccan's Journey Through Depression
January 5th. 2014 ...
Religion vs Practice: Defining Witchcraft in a Modern Age
Traditional Apprenticeships: Training in the Modern Pagan Abbey
2014's Magickal Magnificent Manifestations!
Lunar Insight Moon Musings, Planetary Preponderances: Wise and Wild
December 29th. 2013 ...
My Top Ten Favorite Cauldrons (Part 3)
13 Keys: The Might of Geburah
Beyond The Season of Greed
December 22nd. 2013 ...
My Top Ten Favorite Cauldrons (Part 2)
December 15th. 2013 ...
The Hex Murder of 1928
My Top Ten Favorite Cauldrons (Part 1)
Lady of the Forest Mist (A Story of the Woods)
Lunar Insight Moon Musings: Hunting, Fires and Parting Shots
December 8th. 2013 ...
Help and Thoughts for Pagans New to the Journey
Using Your Wand in Reverse
Leaving a Group - Part 2: Leaving, Healing and Moving Forward
The Cry of the Soul
December 1st. 2013 ...
The Tarot as a Tool for Raising Consciousness
A Pragmatic Look at Neo Paganism
Leaving a Pagan Group – Part 1: To Leave or to Stay?
November 24th. 2013 ...
The Pagan and the Papacy
The Groovy Aquarian Christ: Jesus From a Pagan Perspective
November 17th. 2013 ...
For Love of the God
Which Witch? Philosophical and Psychological Roots of Wicca
A Threat to Religious Liberties?
November 10th. 2013 ...
Where did Aleister Crowley’s Influence on Wicca Go?
Thoughts on the Threefold Law/Law of Return
The Celtic Tree Calendar
Nine Creeds: A Statement and Explanation of My Beliefs
November 3rd. 2013 ...
The Mundane/Spiritual Mirror: What Does it Say About Your Life?
October 27th. 2013 ...
Thoughts On a Miley-Cyrus/ Robin-Thicke Society
On Being Wiccan: Some Unsolicited Advice
Pagan Religious Communities in your Area: Connecting With and Creating Them
Banishing, Invocation and the Lesser Ritual of the Pentagram
October 20th. 2013 ...
Bottle Spells and Magick in Hoodoo Tradition
Weather Magick: Who is Responsible for the Weather?
Broom Closet: In or Out?
On Coven and Claws
October 13th. 2013 ...
Destroying to Create: A Lesson from the Dead
Consume the Scorpion- Scorpion Energy Revisited
October 6th. 2013 ...
UPG and U: A Breakdown and Building Up of Unverified and Unsubstantiated Personal Gnosis
Answering The Call from Spirit
Coping with the Loss of a Familiar
The Five-way Road: A Pagan Pilgrimage, Part 2 (The South)
September 29th. 2013 ...
Six Reasons Why Covens are Here to Stay
Priestessing and Titles: What's the Point?
Truth or Convenience? Questioning Motives for Spiritual Advancement
Speaking Up: The Conflict Between the Spiritualist and Our Human Experience
September 22nd. 2013 ...
Death of a Friendship within the Craft
The Five-way Road: A Pagan Pilgrimage, Part 1 (The Center)
September 15th. 2013 ...
Some Pagan Prayers
The Holocaust Survivor (Part II)
Lunar Insight Moon Musings: Bramble and Cerridwen
NOTE: For a complete list of articles related to this chapter... Visit the Main Index FOR this section.
Article ID: 3582
Age Group: Adult
Days Up: 4,592
Times Read: 4,993
Author: RuneWolf [a WitchVox Sponsor]
Posted: August 12th. 2001
Times Viewed: 4,993
In 1993 I got sober. Prior to that event, my spiritual life was vague, to say the least. I left the Methodist Church in my mid-teens, not in anger but rather in frustration at what I would now characterize as a growing secularization within the Church. While there was much attention paid to worthy causes within the local, national and world communities, I personally felt that there was little attention paid to the Mysteries that I had always, intuitively, felt were central to a religious life.
By my late teens and early twenties, I had developed a personal spiritual concept that included, at least tacitly, the Goddess. My thinking at the time was: "If God is omni-everything, then He can be She if He/She wants to." I remember seeing the feminist bumper-sticker in the late '70s that read "God is coming, and boy is She pissed!" and thinking how logical that waswhy should the Supreme Spirit be limited by gender?
Unfortunately, my spiritual search soon ran aground on the shoals of alcoholism, and would remain marooned there until May, 1993, when I got sober. I wasn't an avowed Pagan at that time, but I know my spirit was crying out to my unknown Higher Power for help.
Even being nominally non-Christian, I immediately took to the waters of AA. While recognizing the indisputably Christian origins of the program, I seized upon the strong foundation of spiritual tolerance that keeps the fellowship standing. When I was presented with the words "God, as we understand Him, " I knew in my heart that Him could be Her, and that I had found a spiritual path roomy enough to allow my long-stifled spiritual life to blossom.
And blossom it did. I was soon involved in shamanic practices, and from there slowly entered the online Craft community, and eventually became an initiated Witch.
But it wasn't a completely seamless and pain-free process. I had my moments of doubt and trial, and what I have written above sets the stage for the two stories I am about to relate.
One Friday night, in my third year of sobriety, just before a late AA meeting I arrived early at the community center, and sat for a while, by myself, under the full moon. I was having grave doubts about whether or not I should actively pursue the Pagan path, and as I sat there in the moonlight, my heart was aching with equal parts longing and uncertainty. So I looked up at the moon, and said something to the effect of: "My Lady, I know you don't do requests, but right now I really need some reassurance. If this is the right path for me, please send me a sign."
And I waited. And, of course, nothing happened. No shooting stars, no earthquakes, no visitations. So I sighed heavily, and went on into the meeting.
To my complete and utter shock, the second person to share that night was a young woman who said: "I just got sober, but I'm having a hard time relating to all this 'God' stuff because I'm Pagan."
All the hair on my bodyand that is quite a bitstood on end, and I knew in that instant that I had just gotten my sign. I didn't have long to bask in the afterglow, however, because as soon as the young woman shared, she was set upon by a couple of fundies who ridiculed her spirituality, and insisted that she could never really get sober until she "found Jesus." I had about 10 seconds to decide if I was going to sit and say nothing, or stand up and be counted. Considering the fact that, against all rationality, I had just had a prayer answered in specific detail, I felt I had no choice. I took the floor, and informed the fundies that AA does not, in fact, require that anyone "find Jesus" in order to get sober, that we are a spiritual fellowship, not a religious one, and that if they insisted on berating people in meetings for their spiritual beliefs, we could all "discuss the matter" in the parking lot.
Oddly enough, no one took me up on my offer.
Please don't misunderstand memy reaction was probably no more appropriate than that of the fundies, and I make no claim to being "right." But in that moment I was infuriated at the naked prejudice that was being displayed in a fellowship whose very lifeblood is tolerance. I don't know which part of me was more offendedthe AA member or the Pagan.
Sadly, I never saw that young woman again. Even though things calmed down a bit, she left the meeting early. I followed her to the parking lot, and tried to assure her that what she had just been subjected to was not AA. She promised to be at the same meeting the next Friday, but I haven't seen her since. I hope she has found her way and her peace.
Whether she did or not, she made a tremendous difference in my life that night. Perhaps she never was there, except as an avatar of the Goddess...
Years later, after serving as Priest at a public ritual, I was suddenly and unaccountably overcome by the desire to drink. I sank down on a nearby bench, because the desire was so strong I knew that I would never make it home without stopping somewhere for that fatal first drink.
And then the Priestess with whom I had served during the ritual came up to me and said "I wanted to give you this, in thanks for all you have done today."
She put something in my hand, and walked away. When I looked, I was holding a medallion that consisted of a pentaclethe symbol of my faithwithin a circle and trianglethe symbol of recovery. Once again, all the hair on my body stood at attention, and I felt the undeniable and immediate presence of the Goddess. I can't say that it was easy, but with that medallion around my neck, I somehow found the strength to make it home without drinking.
There is a tenet in AA that says "In this world, nothing happens by accident." Still, I could look at the two instances above, and easily write them off to coincidence. But to me, that would be stretching the definition of 'coincidence' a bit too far. I still have my times of doubt and trialI'm going through a very hellish one right now. But in the deep dark hours of the night, when I look back on these particular occurrences, I cannot deny that I have been brushed by the wings of the Goddess more than once in my life.
In Their Service,
Location: Reston, Virginia
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