Witchvox Article

Author: Carla VanDeLinder Singleton
Posted: November 8th. 2009
Times Viewed: 864

We have all fallen in love, or experienced something that we related to ourselves as what we thought our ideal love was. More often than not more than once. It’s our human nature. It’s a primitive desire to procreate. It is an instinctual assurance of our species, the unspoken universal language and affirmation derived from many forms.

Sometimes love reaches us in the form of a gift. a person comes into our lives and that person is exactly what we didn’t know we needed or wanted. Sometimes love pokes it head in and out of our daily lives.

Other times, love is a choice we make -- or don’t make -- depending on how it crept upon us. Either way it’s something we need to be happy, whether it comes from the compassion of others or ourselves.

You are the only person who can make yourself happy. another person cannot do that for you but they can gently and bravely help you along by encouraging you to be the highest caliber of a person that you can become. That’s what true love is: a person helping to raise you up into a place where you can accomplish anything you desire.

When you can spend your time learning with the person and loving together, teaching each other every day, learning to grow together, that is the truest of love.

It is difficult hearing young people these days refer to their female counterparts in such derogatory ways, hearing a teenager ask another if they were DTF (which apparently means you don’t have to actually know anything about another individual to have sex) . The only rule is that the other person must be down to have sex. The idea, I guess, is that if one does not have protection then all other rules are out the door. “We should just do it anyway.” “ It doesn’t matter if we make a baby in the process.” All of these things and more are what provoked me to write this essay: I feel like we aren’t granting ourselves the respect we deserve in these above cases.

I realize that we are not all perfect -- and I don’t believe we should be -- but the basics should be held in higher regard. Self-respect is essential. Other people have feelings and are not just a vessel for selfish pleasure. It saddens me to think that young people have no idea what they are doing. Such ‘open mindedness’ where sex is concerned is common now days.

Who is teaching real human value? Why aren’t we concerned with how we treat others in the process of getting our kicks? Young or old, the same problem is current throughout our race.

There is a place inside yourself where validation and self-assuredness comes from within you. You don’t need another person to ‘fulfill you’ because you are already a separate individual. Although it’s a nice addition to have someone special there to compliment the person who you are and as a whole is a great reward indeed.

It is also a wonderful feeling to be the special person who can empower another to be the best he/she can be. The most important gift we can give ourselves is to love ourselves most.

Everyone has heard the phrase; “We must first love ourselves before we can truly love another person.” An ideal we hear more than most of us would like and usually from a person who has better learned the art of giving advice rather than practicing it. But that’s the way it seems to work for most of us.

It’s easier to work out someone else’s problems than our own. The way we deal with ourselves is on a back burner much of the time unless we have learned to be honest and open with our own hearts and look at ourselves through a mirror. We must learn the ability to see what we reflect.

Most people have adapted to current social modes and so accept casual experiences as a ‘norm’ where sex and love are concerned. The emotional feelings and vulnerability have been ignored and replaced with disrespect mainly because the ideals of valuing a person haven’t been taught nor has the understanding of what it takes to give of you to another been realized. It’s not all just chemistry, yet it seems like rocket science because emotions are something we don’t altogether understand.

Self-respect is a foundation stone in this ideal experience of love because without self-respect we cannot truly respect another human being, even if we think that respect is something that we ourselves value.

In my opinion, a person has to be very brave indeed to expose their innermost emotions and to share their body and mind with another person. Trusting that we won’t be thrown aside once the experience of sex has taken place takes bravery. Being able to accept love on most levels takes a form of courageousness as well. Love as a whole is the real experience.

Sex in part is how we as humans express physically an emotion of deep caring. It’s how we, as humans, can exist. Without it, we can’t have children. Love is a word that describes an emotion and it is also an affirmation of love itself. A lot of people don’t see it that way but in reality we get the two confused because of all those crazy physical and emotional feelings that boggle up inside us.

In conclusion, loveless sex is pointless and pointless sex is irresponsible behavior on so many levels. The evolution of STD’s (sexually transmitted diseases) has progressed at about the same pace that we have become numb to the emotions involved in the human experience.

Experiencing love -- as a whole and not in part -- should be desirable. The idea that we can use another’s emotions and body for our own gain or satisfaction is out right mean.

Not an ideal Karmic paycheck.

Copyright: Carla VanDeLinder Singleton

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